Not A Regular Response

| TX, USA | Health & Body, Movies & TV

(I’m at the ticket booth ordering my ticket for the movie. I happen to be 57 years old.)

Me: “One for [Movie], please.”

Ticketer: “Senior or regular?”

Me: “Uh, ummm… uh… regular.”

Ticketer: “Seven dollars, please.”

Me: “You know, when you ask a senior if he’s regular that has a different meaning. I may be a senior but I’m regular.”

Ticketer: *smiles*

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work on Sundays; in the UK, the law states our shop can only be open for six hours. We close at half past four, but the staff stay until 5 pm. It’s quarter to 5, and I notice a woman in our car park, looking at the items we have outside. She looks at the door, and I think she’s seen the sign that says our opening times, so don’t shoo her away until I notice her picking some items up, and moves towards the door, only to find it locked. She rattles the door.)

Me: “We’re closed, sorry!”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “We close at half past four!”

Customer: “What?”

Me & Manager: “We’re closed!”

Customer: *shouting to her little boy* “[Name]! Get here. They’re closed!”

(Thinking that’s the end of it, we go back to what we were doing. Suddenly she bangs on the door.)

Customer: “…does this mean I can’t buy anything?”

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 3

Don’t Hate All Men, Just You

| USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry

(I answer the phone and the most misogynistic guy I’ve ever talked to states he is on hold for a supervisor. I apologize and say he was misinformed he was holding for one, ask for his account number, and offer to help him.)

Me: *after a few seconds of silence and no response* “Sir?”

Caller: “Yes, I’m holding for a supervisor. Are you one?”

Me: “No… This is the same operator you were speaking to. As I explained, I can’t transfer you to a supervisor. If you’d like to speak to one, I’ll need your account number so I can—”

Caller: “—I’m not giving you my account number. That’s private information. Now, put an adult on the phone.”

Me: *thinking its going to be one of THOSE calls* “I am an adult, sir. I’m 38.”

Caller: “Sure you are.” *talking to someone in the background* “I’ve got some man-hating idiot lesbian on the phone who won’t help me. She talks like an ignorant d***.”

Me: *mouth open in shock* “Sir, if you can’t be professional—”

Caller: “—Look, I want to speak to a supervisor. I know you must hate men, and I don’t need to take your abuse. If you want to abuse someone go home and abuse your girlfriend.”

Me: “Sir, there is no need for how you are talking to me. I am trying to assist you. May I please have your account number?” *dead air for about 10 seconds on the line* “Sir?”

Caller: “Yes, I am holding for a supervisor. May I please speak to one?”

Me: *wishing I could reach through the phone to slap him* “I heard you the first few times you said that, sir, and I still can’t transfer you to—”

Caller: “—Look, I know you are an ignorant d*** who isn’t capable of doing this job. Be a good girl and transfer me to someone who is an adult and know what they are doing so you can go home, abuse your girlfriend, and look for a job at McDonald’s where you might actually be qualified to work.”

Me: *struggling hard to remain professional myself* “Sir, if you can’t be professional I will have to end the call. I am trying to assist you. If you want to speak to a supervisor, I need to have your account number so I can issue a call back.” *silence on the line again* “Sir?”

Caller: “Yes, I’m holding for a supervisor. Did that d*** finally transfer me to one?”

Me: *finally had it* “Sir, it’s still me and I heard you the first few times you said that. I am not transferring you to a supervisor. If you won’t give me your account number and speak to me politely, I will have to end this call.”

Caller: “Don’t you talk to me like that, you d*** b****. I’m not giving you my account number so you can steal my info! Put a f****** adult on the phone like a good little lesbian. Don’t know why they hired a r***** like you. You probably are too dumb to work at McDonald’s, too. I want a supervisor. NOW.”

Me: “I’ve warned you multiple times about how you’re talking to me. You are refusing any assistance I can give you and you are being vulgar. Thank you for calling. Have a nice day. I am disconnecting the call.”

Caller: “Don’t you dare—”

Me: *doesn’t let him finish and hits the release button*