Only One Left

| Sweden | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I am an optometrist, selling glasses and contact lenses. A customer calls me up to ask about some contact lenses I sent to him in the mail.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m just calling to ask you which of the lenses is for which eye!”

Me: “I’m sorry! I am usually so careful about these things. I can’t believe I forgot to mark them.”

Customer: “Yeah, it says ‘right’ on one of the boxes, but what about the other one?”

Me: “Uh, then the other one would be for your left eye.”

Customer: “Great, thanks!” *hangs up*

A Dragon Cannot Be Killed By Fire Or Bad Parenting

| Sandusky, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I work at a popular amusement park. A family with children comes in with their children. There are two boys and two girls in a toy gift store.)

Mother: “Okay, you guys can pick one toy each!”

(The one daughter picks a very pink and fluffy stuffed animal, while the boys pick a toy bow and arrow. The youngest girl picks a stuffed dragon.)

Me: “Oh, cool, a dragon!”

Little Girl: *holds up dragon* “Raawwwr!”

Me: “Oh, scary!”

Mother: *pulls dragon out of her hands* “Oh no, sweetheart! Dragons are not for sweet little girls!”

(The mother then shows the little girl a more girly toy and everything pink. Next the little girl picks up a green dog.)

Mother: “No! Little girls like pink! If you don’t get anything pink or girly you can’t get anything at all.”

(The little girl starts crying and then the mother pays for the toys of her other siblings.)

Mother: *to me* “One of these days she will learn her place. Only gay girls like those kind of toys she picked out. I am trying to get her more girly and into pink so she can be straight.”

Me: *stunned silence*

Off Track Call Back

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work in a call center where the supervisor department closes at 11pm. It is now 10:30pm.)

Customer: *explanation of lengthy issue that I cannot fix*

Me: “All right. In order to take care of this issue, I will need to go ahead and transfer your call over to my supervisors, and they will assist you further.”

Customer: “NO! I will NOT be transferred! You have to fix this for me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I do not have the ability in my system to fix this for you. My supervisors will be more than happy to take care of this for you, though, so let me just transfer you—”

Customer: “NO! NO TRANSFERS! FIX IT! I’m not hanging up until you fix it for me!”

(This goes back and forth for almost 45 minutes, with me continuously telling her I cannot fix it for her, and her demanding that I do.)

Customer: “FINE! Just transfer me already!”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but our supervisor department closed 15 minutes ago. I can have one of them call you back tomorrow.”

Customer: “WHAT?! You purposefully kept me on the phone after they closed! You just didn’t want me to talk to them! I’m going to call my lawyer about this!” *slams phone down*

Coworker: “Wow… Guess that’s a callback, then.”

No Helium For The Airhead, Part 2

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(Because of a helium shortage, we currently have a limited amount of tanks to use on balloon orders. We run out in the middle of a day that has a special event going on.)

Store Owner: “I’m sorry to say we can’t fill any more balloons unless it’s with air. If you want any helium balloons, you will have to go to [other store known for its poor service].”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I need 20 balloons and you’re telling me I can’t have them now?”

Store Owner: “I’ve called in for more tanks, but I won’t have them in before tomorrow, so if you need them you’ll have to go elsewhere.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! You should have planned better and ordered more tanks to begin with.”

Me: “We could try that, but we’re only given four tanks a week. Hospitals have a priority on helium for their machines, so their demands come first.”

Customer: “If the hospital needs helium so badly, why don’t they make their own?”

Me: “Helium isn’t man-made. That’s why.”

Customer: *scoffs* “Yes, it is. How else do you think they put it in those tanks?”

Store Owner: “They trap it when they mine, but—”

Customer: “That is the dumbest thing I’ve heard. I can’t believe you idiots believe that shortage crap. I’m going to [other store]. I bet they won’t make up crap to get out of work!” *storms out*

Store Owner: “I bet he also thinks H2O is an energy drink.”

Related:
No Helium For The Airhead

The True Appliance Of Science

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Awesome Customers, Math & Science, Top

(I volunteer at a children’s museum in their dinosaur area, where I work in the lab. We work behind a glass window that we keep open so the kids can ask us questions about the bones we are cleaning.)

Every Kid: *completely ignoring me* “Wow! A real dinosaur bone!”

One Awesome Kid: *staring directly at me* “Wow! A real scientist!”

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