Introducing the Theme Of The Month: You’re So Punny!
Entering is easy:
- Submit a funny or interesting story about this month’s theme: You’re So Punny. Share a story that has involved a particularly good (or bad!) pun!
- At the end of the month, we’ll feature our favorite Theme Of The Month stories in a roundup!
Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (January 24th – January 30th 2016)!
See more roundups here!
(I work at a very well known shoe store in England. We happen to sell handbags and purses also, which are incredibly popular as gifts during the sale season. We only have two sale purses left.)
Customer: “This purse is exactly what I need, but there’s a huge scratch on it here, see? I want a new one! I’m paying lots of money for this; I deserve to have it in good condition!”
(I take the purse out of their hands. The scratch isn’t that big. If a customer is nice I do my best to find a new one, but he’s been particularly rude and huffing over our prices and the state of this “scratch”. What I actually do is take it to our cleaning supplies out back and moisturise the “scratch” out.)
Me: “Here you are, sir. I managed to find a new one for you!”
Customer: “That’s much better. Why don’t you just have new ones out on display? You shouldn’t sell defective merchandise!”
(He paid quite happily and left. All over a £10 purse. I had a giggle out back after that.)
(My store often offers promotions where if you buy two of certain items, you get a free $5 store gift card. Due to how our system works, the gift card has to be scanned to activate it. A customer comes up to me at the service desk, complaining that she’s been charged for the free gift card.)
Customer: “The sign said if I bought these two products, I’d get a free gift card. But the cashier charged me for the card!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Can I see your receipt? I’ll try to get this straightened out.”
(I look at her receipt, and she hasn’t been charged. It says:)
-Gift Card $5
-Free Promotion -$5
-Promo total $0
(I explain this to her, pointing out where the negative number cancels out the card amount.)
Customer: “…Well, I guess I wasn’t charged. But I’m still going to ask my husband to double-check this when I get home. This would be so much easier if you just gave people the card without scanning it!”
Me: “But ma’am, as I said, if it wasn’t scanned it wouldn’t activate, and you’d be given an empty card.”
Customer: “Well, that’s your problem, isn’t it?!”
(She finally leaves and another customer comes up.)
Customer #2: “Let me guess… that happens way more often than it should.”
Me: “You have no idea…”
(I’m working the lunch shift in a downtown farm-to-table restaurant. We get a wide range of customers, from college kids and professors, to ladies who lunch. I’ve seated a normal casually dressed man, and one of my servers goes to help him.)
Server: *to me* “There’s something weird about him. He’s not making sense and doesn’t seem to want to place an order.”
Me: “That’s weird. He seemed pretty normal when I sat him. I’ll go talk to him.” *to customer* “Sir, can I start you with something to drink today?”
Customer: *unintelligible mumbling*
Me: “Okay, then. If you don’t wish to place an order today, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
Customer: *more mumbles*
Me: “I’ll have to ask you to leave; the dining room is just for our customers. I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself, but you need to leave.”
(I step away from the table and am walking across the dining room towards the server when she sees something behind me.)
Server: “No, sir! Please be careful! White Coats, I need the White Coats!”
(The customer had picked up a fork and was trying to stick it in an outlet behind the host station. I strong-armed him out of the building while the server got the “White Coats” as backup. The White Coats were our kitchen staff, all wearing chef coats. A wall of them made great backup. The customer wandered away while I called the police. They eventually picked him up; he was off his meds and harassing local shops.)