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Fighting Sleep And The Law

| Australia | Bad Behavior

(I work in service at a supermarket; this is one of my first customers on a busy Saturday morning.)

Me: “Hey. How you going?”

Customer: “Why do you look like that?”

Me: “I’m tired…”

Customer: “WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT IF YOU GO OUT CLUBBING AND DRINKING ALL NIGHT! IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT.”

Me: “Uhmm, I was home studying last night…”

Customer: “Sure you were; what are you even studying?”

Me: “Law.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, just to let you know, when you graduate, don’t get your hopes up that you’re going to get a job as soon as you finish, because believe me, someone will always do the exact same job you can for cheaper and better!”

Me: “…”

(He continued ranting about how I needed to drop my expectations about my future workforce until he finally paid and I gave him his receipt.)

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Should Have Taken Notarize

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I work in an auto tag shop. Because of the high volume of paperwork that requires notary, my boss requires anyone who gets hired to get their notary license. We do general notary work as well, but we also tend to know a little more about notarizing motor vehicle paperwork because that’s what we do all day. I got this phone call one afternoon.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Business]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, hi. I’m going to be selling a car, but I can’t arrange a time to meet up with the buyer. What can I do?”

Me: “Oh, no problem! What you can do is bring the title in to us and we’ll notarize it. Then you can give it to the buyer and he or she can do the transaction without you being there.”

Customer: “Oh, good! What do I need for that?”

Me: “You’ll need to bring us the title and your valid identification. You’ll also need the buyer’s name and address, the purchase price, and the approximate mileage on the car. Then, it’s five dollars and we only accept cash or check.”

Customer: “What if I don’t know the buyer’s name and address?”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, we need that information. We can’t notarize the title without filling that information in on the back. If we do so, it’s called an open title, and that’s illegal.”

Customer: “But I don’t know who’s buying the car!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ll have to wait until you have a buyer secured before you can get the title notarized.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! Is there no place who will notarize this title for me?”

(The shop where I work is known for being extremely strict on the laws, while there are other shops who are a lot more lax as well as notaries who don’t know about open titles. It happens quite often that someone gets something illegal done at another shop and then is upset with us that we can’t do it as well, so I default to my usual answer in this situation.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, I can’t say that. I’m sure that there are notaries and tag shops out there who will do what you’re asking, but I have to warn you that they would be doing it illegally.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “An open title is illegal. There are plenty of tag shops out there who operate illegally and will do what you’re asking, but unfortunately we are not one of them.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, then, can you give me the phone number to one of those illegal shops?”

Me: “I’m sorry…? No, ma’am, I don’t have a list on hand of illegal tag shops.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s okay! I’ll find one on my own! Bye!” *hangs up*

Me: “What just happened?”

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Has Ground-Zero Excuse To Behave That Way

| New York City, NY, USA | Bad Behavior

(This takes place in 2001. I’m a bill collector for a clothing store. After the 9/11 attacks, we stop calling New York and other affected areas for a few weeks. It is now early October:)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] calling from [Company]. May I speak to [Customer], please?”

Customer: “Yes, this is [Customer], but I can’t talk right now. My roommate is missing in the WTC attack.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that! I’ll try back later.”

(One week later:)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] calling from [Company]. May I speak to [Customer], please?”

Unidentified Female: “Oh, that’s my roommate! She’s missing in the WTC attack.”

(There was a website with a list of missing/deceased people in the attacked areas and luckily she wasn’t on it. She was fine when I spoke to her in early October, but the next week she was missing due to the September attacks. This was the most reprehensible way someone had tried to dodge my collection call.)