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A Very Specific Need(le)

| Austin, TX, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I’m at the front counter of a small veterinary clinic when a young couple that I’ve never seen before come in, followed by a regular client.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Man: “Yeah, I need to give my dog some medicine, but I don’t have a syringe. Can I buy a syringe?”

Me: “Sure, what size do you need?”

Man: “I just need a syringe!”

Me: “I understand. How much medicine is it that your dog needs? We have syringes that measure in tenth ml increments, and in larger sizes up to 60mls.”

Man: “Just sell me a syringe!”

Me: “Give me just a minute.”

(I go to the back and return with syringes in a variety of sizes. None of them have a needle attached.)

Me: “These are what we have; which one would you like?”

Man: “NO! I need a SYRINGE!” *gestures with his finger as if giving himself an IV injection in the arm*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t sell needles.”

(The man leaves in a huff, the woman trails behind. Before they are even through the door, my regular client walks up, slams his hand down on the counter and says loudly:)

Regular: “What does it take to get some heroin in this place?”

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Refunder Blunder, Part 21

| Wales, UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am approached by an initially-pleasant elderly couple.)

Me: “Prynhawn da, good afternoon; may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, we were wondering if you know anything about yesterday’s car crash?”

Me: “The one at [Tiny Village] about six pm? Yes, it affected my route home – I took a quick diversion through a mountain pass that runs parallel to the main road.”

Customer: “What happened, then?”

Me: “Well, I’m not privy to all the details but from what I hear, nobody died.”

Customer: “Well, that’s good. The poor dears.”

Customer’s Husband: “The poor dears. Anyway, since you said nobody died, we’d like to know how we may apply for compensation?”

Me: “Sir, if you were involved in the accident or a witness you need to contact the police straight away! You could have vital information. Your insurance company might want to know too.”

Customer: “Oh, no, dear, no! Nothing like that.”

Customer’s Husband: “The road had been closed for over an hour when we got there and we didn’t see a thing.”

Me: “Then how could you possibly need compensating? I’m really sorry, but I don’t understand.”

Customer: “Well, the policeman at the road block gave us directions.”

Me: “O… kay?”

Customer’s Husband: “He offered us two routes back to [Town I am working in].”

Customer: “One sounds like that single track road you said you used.”

Customer’s Husband: “And the other was sticking to the main roads and driving back around the mountain range the other way.”

Customer: “We didn’t want to go into the mountains, you see. Imagine if we met another car!”

Customer’s Husband: “So we went the long way. And now we’d like to claim our money back for the extra fuel.”

(I am dumbstruck and stand there with my mouth open for a good few seconds whilst I think of something useful to tell them.)

Me: “Well, sir and ma’am, I’m not aware of any council-run schemes to compensate people for inconveniences or extra costs incurred for those not involved in a roadside emergency. I can give you the number for the department in the council that deals with roadways, but if anything like this IS available, my guess is that it would take the form of an insurance payout from the companies the vehicles actually involved were insured with. I have no idea if you can even get that information, but I can give you contact details for the nearest police station, who should be able to tell you.”

Customer’s Husband: “That sounds complicated.”

Customer: “We were hoping you might have a refund button on your till for it and could just give us cash today.”

Customer’s Husband: “We don’t mind if you have to refund it on our card, though.”

Me: “Sir, you’ve come to a tourist information kiosk. The ONLY functions on my till are for the sale and returns of maps and souvenirs. On the off-chance that there IS a law somewhere that says you may claim compensation for the type of issue you had yesterday, it would be dealt with centrally anyway and you’d get a cheque in the post. As I’ve said, it is NOT something we can deal with here. You would need to contact the police, a solicitor, or perhaps our roadways department.”

Customer: “Okay, well, that’s not really what we wanted to hear, but thank you, dear.”

(I needed to go and make a very strong cup of tea after they left!)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 20
Refunder Blunder, Part 19
Refunder Blunder, Part 18

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Their Argument Comes Apart At The Seams

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Popular

(I’m an assistant manager at a clothing store, and there is a sales associate we are wanting to promote to management. We are giving her more opportunities to work on her own to see how she handles it. One night, she and I are working together and I tell her I am going to organize our shoes in the back and to let me know if she needs anything. Everything is going fine until about 30 minutes before closing, when she comes back to the stock room.)

Coworker: *visibly upset* “I’m so sorry to bother you, but this customer is out here demanding to speak to a manager. He’s Russian and his English isn’t great, but he wants to buy a jacket for the woman he’s with. He says the threads are loose on the seam and he wants a discount. I told him we could only give him 10% off, and he started yelling and asking for a manager, and I didn’t know what else to do…”

Me: “You handled that just like you should have. I’ll come out and talk to him.”

(I go out to the sales floor and greet the customer and his girlfriend.)

Me: “So, what seems to be the problem with this jacket?”

Customer: “The threads are loose! It is no good! See!”

(He shows me a seam of the jacket that looks fine, but it honestly isn’t the highest quality stitching as the jacket is only $50.)

Me: “I see. Well we can offer you 10% off.”

Customer: “No! You must give it to me for $20. The jacket is no good. This seam is so loose; she will probably wear it five times before it falls apart!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir; the largest discount I can offer for damaged items is 10% off. If you’d like I can call another one of our stores to see if they have the jacket in her size, but I can’t give you a lower price than that.”

Customer: “But how can you sell this for more than $20? It is just going to fall apart!”

(We go around in circles like this for a while, and I start to get fed up and know I need to start shutting the store down soon. I finally run out of patience with the man, who is obviously just trying to bully me into giving him the jacket for a low price.)

Me: “Sir, with all due respect, if you believe this loose stitching is going to cause the whole jacket to fall apart after a few wears, why would you want to buy it at all?”

Customer: *angrily* “I will give you twenty dollars and that is all!”

Me: “Then you will not be purchasing the jacket. Y’all have a great night!”