His Logic Doesn’t Check Out

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(I am working at the registers along with a head cashier shortly before closing. One of our regulars, a very old man, shuffles up to my register. I’m a little surprised, as he usually only talks to Manager, sometimes waiting for hours until Manager starts his shift.)

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to buy this book.”

Me: “Certainly! That will be [total].”

(Customer pulls out a very old leather case with about 100 sheets of perforated checks. He slowly flips to the correct page, slowly starts to fill out a check, and then drops the whole case on the floor, scattering pages everywhere. I help him pick up.)

Customer: “Oh, no, these need to be in order! Help me put them in order!”

Me: “Sir, perhaps we should finish the transaction. Then you can put these back in order later.”

Customer: *getting angry* “That is RIDICULOUS! How am I supposed to know which check to fill out?!”

Me: “It’s the one you’ve already started filling out?”

Customer: *muttering* “This is ridiculous. You people are SO unhelpful. I don’t even know why I shop here!”

Head Cashier: *whispers to me* “Just do it, or we’ll never get out of here.”

Me: “All right, sir, let’s get these back in order.”

(Customer insists he put them back in order, very very slowly, while I hold the case. Nothing else will do. 20 minutes later, the check is finally filled out and we can continue with the transaction.)

Me: “And can I see your driver’s license?”

Customer: “My WHAT?!”

Me: “Driver’s license, passport, or other state ID?”

Customer: *getting hysterical* “What?! WHY?!”

Head Cashier: *jumping in* “Sir, you’ve shopped here for years. You always pay by check. You KNOW you have to show us your license.”

Customer: “THAT’S IT! I’m getting the manager!”

(The customer storms off, and comes back with the manager.)

Manager: “So, what seems to be the problem?”

Me: “He’s paying by check.”

Manager: “Okay, can I see your license, sir?”

Customer: “Sure, here you go!”

(Customer handed over his license, the manager finished the transaction in about 30 seconds, and we ushered the man out and closed the store.)

Doubly Appreciative

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

(I’ve finished serving a customer at my till. She hasn’t left yet, and is thoroughly reading her receipt.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, is there a problem?”

Customer: “Actually, yes, there is. You charged me double on one item.”

(I look at her receipt, and she’s right; I did charge her twice for the same item. This is a rather bad mistake, so I’m expecting the worst.)

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am. I’ll fix this right away.”

Customer: “If I just grab another one of these items, we’d be good, right?”

Me: “Well, yes, that would be one way to go about solving this problem, but this is my mistake. I am very sorry for what I did, and I can give you your money back, if that’s what you prefer.”

Customer: “It’s okay; I could use another one of these, anyway.”

(Ma’am, if you’re reading this, I would like to thank you again for your kindness. It really meant a lot to me. And I’ll do my best to avoid repeating that mistake!)

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The Cake Website Is A Lie

| Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work on the hands-on side of a small online sports gear store, packing and answering the phone. I overhear the following phone call on speaker.)

Coworker: “Hello, [Sports Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, hi. I haven’t actually looked at your website but I was wondering if you could help me; do you have any cake decorating supplies?”

Coworker: “Uh… no I’m afraid we don’t carry cake decorating gear. We mostly stock sports goods.”

Customer: *disappointed* “Oh… well, I don’t want that. Maybe I’ll check your website.” *click*

Coworker: *to me* “Cake decorating is a sport now?”

Taking Care Of Business At Your Business

| Richmond, VA, USA | Pets & Animals

(I work in big box retail. I walk out to the garden center to see dog poop on the floor. An old lady is fifty feet away with a dog.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, we only allow service animals in the store. Otherwise it’s a health code violation, and that is an example of why. Can I get you to clean up after your dog, please?”

Customer: “What?! He didn’t do that!”

(I manage not to say, ‘Did you do it, then?’)

Me: “Ma’am, he’s the only dog in the store, and this is why we do not allow them. The cashier will be glad to give you a plastic bag.”

Customer: “Well, can I finish my shopping first?”

Me: “No, I don’t want another customer to step in it. Please clean it up.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want to walk all the way [to the register]; can you bring me the bag?”

(We are literally ten feet away from the register.)

Me: “Here you go, ma’am. Thank you for taking care of that.”

Customer: “I still don’t think he did it.”

(I walked away. Quickly.)

Will Have To Park This Service

| Australia | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids

(The store where I work has a ridiculously tiny and awkwardly shaped car park, so on the weekend it can be difficult to find a parking spot. On one extremely hot Saturday I am working at the service desk when a customer comes through the door and pushes past all the other customers in line.)

Customer: “I need to return this cushion.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ll be happy to serve you, but you’ll need to join the queue.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand! I can’t wait in that line! I didn’t park my car and my baby is still inside!”

Me: “So, you’re telling me that you’re blocking everyone else in the car park and you locked your baby inside your car, on a forty degree day?”

Customer: “Yes, exactly! You need to serve me first!”

Me: “Ma’am, I won’t serve you until you have parked your car correctly and brought your baby inside with you.”

Customer: “You can’t refuse me service! I demand to talk to your supervisor!”

Me: “That’s fine; I’ll be happy to call her for you after you park your car and bring in your baby.”

(She swore under her breath and left in a huff. I didn’t see her again that day.)

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