A Real Humdinger Of A Solution

| Bryan, OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Top

(Even though I don’t work in this store anymore, I still have friends that do. I am there getting fabric with my daughter. The fabric area is in the middle of the store. We start to hear a bell ringing on the other side of the store. Every 30 seconds the bell rings, and goes on for a good five minutes.)

Employee: *looking at me* “He doesn’t even bother to look up, just keeps hitting it!”

Me: *calling across the store* “He is busy. He will be with you in a moment!”

(The customer just looks at me, and dings the bell more. This time, he doesn’t stop, and just keeps hitting the bell for a solid two minutes. At this point, I’m angry, I have a headache, and the employee is too nice to do anything rude, so I walk across the store, and grab the bell right out from under the customer’s hand.)

Me: *holding the bell* “I said he was busy.”

Customer: “HEY! You took my DINGER!”

Me: *walking away* “Yes. I am now in possession of your ‘dinger.'”

(The employee is trying to hide his laughter as I come walking back with the bell in my hand. The customer is following me and yelling the whole time.)

Customer: “I demand service! I’ve been here before and I want someone to help me!”

Me: You will get help as soon as he is available to help you. He is busy with me right now.”

Employee: “Sir, I’m the only person on this half of the store, everyone else is on break. If you can just wait a moment, when I’m done with her I will come help you!”

Customer: *looking at me* “What is your name?!”

Me: “[My Name]. I’m not sure why that matters to you.”

Customer: “I’m talking to your manager!”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Then why did you take my dinger!”

Me: “Because you pissed me off!”

Customer: “I have the right to ding the dinger!”

Me: “Yes, you do! But you abused that right! So I have now banned you. BANNED!”

(He storms off. About 10 minutes later, he comes back with a manager.)

Customer: “HER! See, her! She is the one that took my dinger!”

Manager: “Sir, I do not know this woman. She doesn’t work here.”

Customer: “She was rude to me!”

Manager: “Sir, she has that right.”

Customer: “I demand you fire her!”

Manager: “Sir, seriously, I do not know who she is. She doesn’t work here!”

(The customer stomps away. The manager looks at me and laughs as she starts talking.)

Manager: “He told me he wanted to complain about a customer, and I didn’t believe a customer would complain about another customer! I’m so sorry! He is always so rude, but this is a new low even for him!”

Me: “It’s all good. I did what I know everyone has always wanted to do, and it felt soooo right!”

5 Stories Of Soccer Silliness

Not Always Right | Roundups

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of Soccer Silliness With the World Cup now in full swing, enjoy these samples of the sport driving customers (and employees!) crazy:

  1. The Not-So-Difficult Art Of Misdirection (3,812 thumbs up)
  2. The (Brain) Damage Has Already Been Done (4,369 thumbs up)
  3. The UK Is Football Mecca (1,452 thumbs up)
  4. Perspiring & Persistent (2,573 thumbs up)
  5. A Man Needs His Nectar (2,562 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Used And Useless

| MT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Technology

(A customer is coming through my line with a series of energy drinks and several bags of chips. He is also holding a game with a receipt. I figure that he bought it in our game department.)

Me: “Oh, [Game]! I have been waiting for that to go on sale. It looks like a good game.”

Customer: “It’s okay. I finished the game in like a day though.”

(I’m puzzled by this, as he is holding the game.)

Me: “Really? Huh.”

Customer: “Yeah. I just tried to return it. It was too short. I can’t believe you guys didn’t take it back.”

Me: “So you bought a game and tried to return it because you finished it?”

Customer: “I was really dissatisfied after I finished it. Do you know where I can take it to return it? Or do I have to file a complaint or something?”

Me: “Well, it’s now a used game… so, [Used Game Store]?”

Customer: “They’ll only give me used game price.”

(We stand there for 10 minutes while he tries to grasp the concept of returns. He leaves in a huff. After, my boss comes over.)

Boss: “Did that just happen?”

Me: “Doesn’t it always?”

From Mumble To Stumble To Rumble To Humble

| USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I have an inner ear condition and am hearing impaired but not really to the degree that I need a hearing aid. An older woman approaches my line.)

Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

Customer: *mumbles while looking at the floor*

Me: “Um… I’m sorry. What did you say?”

Customer: *sighs and looks to the right, still away from me, mumbling again*

Me: “Ah, okay.”

(I ring up her items and tell her the total. She holds up three different cards and mumbles again, but I can read her lips to understand, ‘not enough.’)

Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t quite catch that. Did you say you want to use all three cards?”

(She nods and rolls her eyes, then swipes the first card.)

Me: “All right, and how much did you want on that one?”

Customer: *mumbles into the card reader*

Me: “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

(She mumbles once more, but since this is the third time I asked her to repeat herself and I’m feeling embarrassed, I just let the transaction run through as if she was using one card because I have no idea how much she wanted on there. The card is, of course, declined and she shouts wordlessly.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Could you swipe it again, please? And I’m sorry, but how much did you say you wanted on that card?”

(AGAIN she mumbles, with her head bowed so low I can’t even see her lips to try to read them. By that point, I’ve had enough.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I really need you to speak up, please. I’m hearing impaired and you’re speaking rather softly. I can’t hear you at all.”

Customer: “You lying b****!”

Me: *taken aback* “Excuse me?!”

Customer: “Lying about being deaf is no excuse for your irresponsibility! You’re young! You’re not deaf. If you were, you’d have an earpiece in! You just listen to your music too loud; all you kids do. Keep that up, and you WILL be deaf before long!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have [inner ear condition]. I have constant, loud ringing in my ears. Several times per day I lose all hearing in one or both of my ears for anywhere between three seconds to three hours. You’re right; I’m most likely going to completely lose my hearing before I’m 40 because there’s no cure or real treatment for it beyond surgery that might not even work. So please, while I still can hear you at all, could you speak up just a little?”

(The customer stares at me, red-faced and silent, for a few moments. Finally she swipes the card again and then looks at me.)

Customer: *loudly* “I’d like $10 on this card, please.”

Marrying Together Archaic Ideas

| Australia | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

(I have a long-time repeat client, old but quite nice. As I am finishing up going through the paperwork and vouchers for his identical biannual holiday with his wife, I inform him I won’t be able to assist with his next trip as I’d be on maternity leave but I’ll pass his file over to my manager and she’ll be quite happy to assist.)

Client: *blank look* “But you’re not… married.”

Me: “Well… no…?”

Client: “How can you be going on maternity leave, then?”

Me: “Because I’m having a baby?”

Client: But you’re not MARRIED?!”

Me: “Uh, I know, but I appear to be pregnant and as I am having a child I need maternity leave…”

Client: “BUT. YOU’RE. NOT. MARRIED. How can you be PREGNANT?”

(Every week for the next seven months he came into my office, sat in front of me, and implored me to go and get married, to anyone – maybe that man over there? – because I needed to be married to have a child. Well, I have a child and I’m still not married. Occasionally he goes back into my old store and asks if I’m married yet.)

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