Trying To Avoid A Razor-Sharp Employee

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

(I’m working as a cashier and this sweet-seeming older woman comes up to my counter to buy a razor.)

Me: “Hello, how are you?” *scanning her items as we speak*

Customer: “Wonderful. How are you?”

Me: “I’m doing well, thank you. Your total is $14.”

Customer: “What?! No, that’s five dollars! The bin said it was five dollars!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, this product is $14. Perhaps someone just put it into the $5 bin because they wanted the cheaper item?”

(I get someone to check and the bin is full of a totally different razor set, which I suspected would be the case, especially because this razor was a really nice razor. So we explain this.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous! This is false advertising! You should be sued!”

(She leaves really quickly, while shouting. The associate who was standing there the whole time after checking the bins starts laughing.)

Me: “What?”

Associate: “She tried buying that same razor yesterday with an expired coupon.”

Armless Is Harmless

| FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

(I work as a freelance airbrush face painter. I’m at an event when two small children and their mother come up. The mother’s attention is elsewhere while I talk to her kids.)

Me: “Hey there! What design would you like?”

Girl: *pointing out which design* “…and can I have it on my arm?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I put the design on her arm, and her brother comes up next, wanting his design on his arm as well. I hear this exchange as they leave.)

Mother: “Both of you got designs on your arms instead of your faces? Man, I got some boring-a** kids.”

A Giant Wave Of Ignorance

| Seward, AK, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(We do glacier and whale watching cruises. On this day, there has been a tsunami alert, although it later turned out to be a false alarm. The alarm horns are sounding all over the waterfront.)

Me: “This is the tsunami warning system. I need everyone to drop what you’re doing and evacuate uphill to the high school. There are evacuation route signs posted under the street signs.”

Customer: “Can you explain this tour to me?”

Me: “Sir, we are evacuating.”

Customer: “Can I just wait by the docks until you all come back?”

Me: “There is a tsunami alarm sounding. You need to get to high ground.”

Customer: “But, when the tsunami is over, will you be running more tours?”

Dying To Get Some Service

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am deathly allergic to strawberries. Ingesting even a tiny trace of strawberry sends me into anaphylactic shock, for which I keep an EpiPen on me. This instance occurs late one evening while I am in the back doing dishes after a late lunch break. Somehow, strawberry must have gotten into my food because I suddenly find my throat closing and my face and chest swelling. I frantically ask my coworker to call 911 before my throat closes all the way and I practically collapse. She injects my EpiPen, and as my airway begins to clear and the panic subsides slightly, I am able to hear an exchange happening through the headset.)

Customer: “…seriously? This ambulance is completely blocking the drive-thru lane. This is ridiculous. How am I going to be able to get out of here? Can I even still get my coffee?! UGH!”

Coworker: *with all the sarcasm she can muster* “Terribly sorry to inconvenience you, ma’am. We have an employee dying in the back room.”

Customer: “What? You’re just saying that!”

Coworker: *fed up* “Sorry, the drive-thru lane is closed right now. If you want coffee you’ll have to come inside.”

Customer: “This is TERRIBLE customer service! I’m NEVER coming back here! Ridiculous!”

(I hope she never does come back! Glad your coffee was more important than my LIFE, lady!)

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In Hot Soup Now

| The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(We serve our soup in big round fancy bowls where the edge is raised on only one side.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Miss, I have a complaint. I’m afraid I did not receive a full bowl of soup. You see, it’s only half full.”

(I look at her bowl and see that it is in fact filled for as much as the bowl allows. You could not possibly fill the bowl with more soup, because it would spill over on one side.)

Me: “Ma’am, it seems that your bowl is completely filled. What exactly do you mean?”

Customer: “Look! Look at this side of the bowl! There’s no soup here. It’s false advertising. Why would you have a bowl this large and high and not fill it all the way?”

Me: “I’m sorry, are you asking me to change the law of physics for you?”

Customer: “Yes!”

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