A Card-Carrying Member Of The Idiot Club

| VA, USA | Right | October 5, 2015

Me: “Will this be everything?”

Customer: “Yes.” *watches as I pick up each item, handle it to turn it over, scan it and place it in a bag*

Me: “Your total is [total]. You can slide your card now, right there.”

Customer: *slides card*

Me: “Oh, is it credit? May I see the card?”

Customer: *holds the card in front of my face and waves it back and forth, so I can’t see it*

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “You can SEE it, but you can’t touch it.” *patronizing smile* “That’s how GERMS get passed around.”

Me: “Well, can you hold it still for just a moment?”

Customer: “I don’t want to catch anything…” *holds card still… and continues lecturing about germs*

Me: “Okay, now you just sign there on the pin pad and hit ‘Done.'”

Customer: “You have to be very careful!” *grabs pin pad and attached pen (which has, by that afternoon, been handled by hundreds of people)* “I never let anyone touch my cards!”

Very Grim Job Prospects

| CT, USA | Right | October 5, 2015

(I work retail and overhear a mother and child.)

Child: “Is that a scythe?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Child: “Mom, can I have it?”

Mother: “Why?”

Child: “So I can reap souls.”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Child: “I want to be the Grim Reaper by the time I’m 15, and then retire by the age of 30.”

Me: “She’s joking, right?”

Mother: “No…”

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Blow The Lid Off

, | MI, USA | Right | October 4, 2015

(I am covering drive-thru on my own for a little bit, due to extreme traffic at our front counter. I take a woman’s order, make her drink, and cash her out. When handing the coffee to a customer, I hold it on the top so they can get a grip on the cup itself. It makes it a lot easier for the customer, and it means that our hands don’t touch and cross-contaminate.)

Me: *hands the woman her coffee* “Have a—”

Woman: *glares at me* “You touched the lid. You can never touch my coffee lid.”

(I made her coffee. Which includes putting the lid on, and writing how much cream and sugar I put in it.)

Me: *too puzzled to speak*

Woman: “You can never touch my coffee lid. Now I need a new one. DOMED.”

(I grab her a different lid (my hand touches it, and it doesn’t bother her), and pass it out to her. She tsks at me, and drives off, repeating ‘You don’t ever touch my lid.’ She’s a regular customer, and she does this to everyone.)

A Personal Lack Of Gun Control

| WA, USA | Right | October 4, 2015

(I am a female working at a firearms retailer that also offers gunsmith services. A customer comes in and tosses a handgun onto the counter.)

Customer: “What can you quote me on a barrel extension for this?”

(I look down at the handgun and note several things.)

Me: “Well, I can certainly give you a price quote, but first, sir, if you want us to work on this, I must ask that you unload the gun.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Me: “Well… besides the obvious safety issues in handling loaded firearms, we don’t want to risk your ammo getting lost when we have to disassemble the gun.”

Customer: “Fine.” *he ejects the magazine and puts the gun back down on the counter* “Happy?”

Me: “No, sir. I need you to check there isn’t a round in the chamber, too.”

Customer: “Look, woman, see this?” *waves the magazine at me* “Without this you’ve got nothing to worry about, okay?”

Me: “That’s… not always the case. Yes, some handgun models will not fire without the magazine but most are perfectly capable of firing so long as there’s a round in the chamber.”

Customer: “Look, is there a guy who can help me? Someone who knows how man things work?”

Me: “As you wish.”

(I call my manager and explain everything.)

Manager: “So, sir, let me see if I’ve got this straight. You don’t believe my employee, who is both licensed and has been handling firearms for the past four years she’s worked here, and are willing to endanger both our lives by handing us a loaded gun?”

Customer: “What’s the problem here? I’ve got the mag in my hands. The gun is safe!”

(My manager picks up the handgun and aims it out the window at a target range we have out back, making sure he’s not about to hit anything besides the concrete wall behind the store. He pulls the trigger and of course the gun fires as it’s supposed to, despite having no magazine.)

Manager: “May I ask you to please explain how that happened then? Since, by your own admission, you should know more about guns due to being a man?”

(The customer grabbed his now completely empty gun and stormed out of the store. The kicker? The gun was of a relatively new model that had a warning to check the chamber stamped on its side. Just goes to show why gun safety is so important!)

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Whatever works

| Right | October 4, 2015

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