Are Jew Crazy?!

| San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Holidays, Religion

(It’s mid-morning on Black Friday. A jovial customer comes in, hits on the young lady I’m ringing out, and then walks around the counter after being rejected. He sees my coworker.)

Customer: “Hey! Hey, man. Are you Jewish?”

Coworker: “What? No?”

Customer: “Oh, good. So you’re American!”

Coworker: “…what?”

(The customer then quite happily left the store.)

Not So Closed Minded, Part 7

| VA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(About half an hour before we close, we get a sudden rush of customers, leading to us being unable to lock the doors once it’s time to close. Five minutes after closing, we only have one family left in the store to finish serving when another man walks in.)

Supervisor: “Sir, I’m sorry. We’re closed.”

Customer: *continues toward register*

Supervisor: “Sir, we’re closing!”

Customer: *stops to look at chips*

Supervisor: “Sir! I’m sorry, but we’re in the process of closing.”

Customer: *walks to register*

Supervisor: *now standing directly in front of customer* “Sir, I’m sorry. We’re not taking orders now. We’re closed.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Um… I’ll take a large ham and turkey—”

Supervisor: “Sir! I’m sorry, but we closed five minutes ago. You’ll need to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, you should have said something.” *walks out*

(As soon as the previous customer’s food was ready and they were out, I ran at full sprint to the door and locked it.)

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4

She Passed With Flying Colors

| NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Holidays

(I organize events for special needs children and their families. I also work as a female clown. A little girl has approached my table.)

Me: “Well, hi there! Would you like to get your face painted today?”

Girl: “Yes! I want [Popular Children’s Character]!”

(She takes a seat, and as I get my supplies I notice she is staring at my head. I am bald due to a medical condition, so I wear nice-quality wigs which, despite their artificial colors, are often mistaken as real hair. Today I’m wearing bright pink.)

Me: “All righty, then! [Children’s Character] it is. My name is [My Clown Name]; what’s your name?”

Girl: “[Girl].” *pauses as I ready the paints* “How is your hair pink? Is it REALLY pink or fake? I don’t think hair can actually be like that.”

(Her mother begins to speak up, but I wink at her.)

Me: “Well, I have special hair! I can make it any color I want. Today it’s pink, but tomorrow it might not be.”

Girl: “Wow! Is that magic?”

Me: “Yup, it’s kind of like magic!”

(I proceed to paint her face, fielding several questions about my ‘powers’ to the amusement of the mother. Later the mother explains that due to her rabid love of this popular ‘magical’ franchise, other kids have begun to make her doubt the existence of magic. Weeks later, I am hosting a Halloween event when I spot the same little girl, dressed as one of the franchise characters.)

Me: “Hi, [Girl]! I like your costume.”

Girl: “Thanks! It’s my favorite—”

(She stops abruptly and her eyes go wide. Sure enough, I am wearing a curly purple wig. Her mother grins.)

Girl: “Whoooooaaaaaa.” *to her mother* “Mommy, look!”

Mother: “See? I told you it was real magic!”

(As if on cue, my coworker comes out from behind a trick-or-treat door, dressed as [Main Franchise Character] and signing another child’s autograph. The girl looks starstruck.)

Girl: “Oh. My. GOSH.”

Mother: *laughing* “Aaaaaaaand that’s just made our Halloween.”

(It made mine, too!)