How To Get Non-Existent Panties In A Twist

, | FL, USA | Right | November 4, 2015

(I’m a FTM transgender, but have not begun transition, so although I’m frequently called “sir” in person based on my looks, my voice is a dead giveaway – especially at a call center job.)

Me: “Hello, I’m calling on behalf of [Company] regarding the power bill. May I speak with [Name]?”

Man: “Are you wearing any paaaaantieees?”

Me: “…Excuse me, sir?”

Man: “I like women who don’t wear paaaaaantieeees!”

Me: “Sir, I’m a man, and I’m calling to save you money on your power bill.”

Man: “No, you’re not! You’re a WOMAN and I like women who don’t wear PAAAAANTIEEEEES!”

Me: “So you’ve said, sir, but I’m a transgender man. Would you like to save money on your power bill or not?”

(At this apparently horrific revelation, the customer hangs up on ME, and I pause the dialer to do a victory dance at my desk.)

An Oscar Major Weiner

| QLD, Australia | Right | November 4, 2015

(An older man comes in as I open the store. He seems innocent enough and is roughly 80 years old. When he comes up to the checkout we make idle chat, until I’ve scanned all of his groceries.)

Me: “That’ll be $42.99 today.”

Customer: “I won an Oscar. Do you want to see it?”

Me: “Sure!”

(He quickly runs out of the store, leaving his groceries there before shortly returning. He is holding a fake Oscar, but looks very proud so I humor him.)

Customer: “Look!”

Me: “It’s very nice. What did you win it for?”

Customer: “Read the inscription!”

(The inscription says “Longest Standing Member.” By now, I was confused out of my mind, until the old man snickered and moved his hand, revealing the statue had large private parts standing out.)

Me: *speechless, but quietly laughing*

Customer: “My wife got this for our anniversary!”

Smiles Can Go Miles

, | DE, USA | Right | November 4, 2015

(I work mostly morning shifts at a mall food court. I love it, because it’s slow and I can people watch, and most of the time when I do get customers, they’re either senior citizens, mall employees, or moms with babies, and they’re all wonderful. I’ve been working there for a couple of weeks when an old man walks up to me.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “You know, I’m in here pretty much every day, and I see you watching people and smiling and laughing, and it always makes me happy. I just wanted to make sure you know that there’s a lot of bad stuff going on in this world, but if you keep smiling, things will start to get better.”

Me: *beaming* “Thank you.”

(He nods at me and walks away. My manager walks up from the back and grins at me.)

Manager: “Keep smiling, my friend.”

(I’ve been working there for four months now and that’s still the best thing that’s happened to me on the job.)

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Tipped For Trouble

| Right | November 4, 2015

jic6ri1

Olive To Regret That

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | November 4, 2015

(I am working with my sister, and she is taking an order over the phone.)

Sister: “And will you be paying with cash, credit, or debit?”

(She pauses as the customer answers.)

Sister: “And just to make sure, that was black olives, not green, right?”

(She finishes taking the order.)

Sister: “I asked her if she wanted black olives instead of green to make sure I got the order right, but she just shouted “CASH!!” at me. I hope she likes black olives.”

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