Lined Up To Fail

| Norway | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(When a customer comes in to our store they first talk to a salesman who registers the product the customer wants.. After that, they come to me, the cashier, and after they have paid they collect their product out in the hall where we have our delivery point. Christmas time is our busiest time of the year. I’m the cashier.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to buy an iPad. It’s under the name [Name].”

Me: “Okay, that will be [price].”

(The customer pays and goes off to collect the iPad. I continue with the line. Soon he comes back, red in the face with anger. I’ve started helping another customer, but he is so mad he ignores that fact.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me. What is this!?”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Customer #1: “I’ve been standing in line for a very long time and now there is a line at the delivery point as well. I don’t have fu***** time for this.”

Me: “Your iPad is reserved to you so if you want to collect another time, you are free to do so if you don’t have the time right now. I’m sorry but they are working as fast as they can out there.”

Customer #1: “That’s not f****** good enough. Give me my money back and I’ll go to another store and spend my money there.”

Me: “Of course.”

(I ask the person next in line if it’s okay if I fix this really quickly. He smiles and says okay. While I type away the angry customer keeps insulting me.)

Customer #1: “This poor service. How dare they do this to me?! This service is s***!”

Customer #2: “Well, they do have pretty s***ty customers, too.”

Thank You For Calling The North Pole

| Dublin, Ireland | Family & Kids, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Good evening. You’re through to [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I mean it. It’s really him!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “It’s really Santa Claus!”

(I now realize the customer is speaking to someone on his end. I hear gasping on his end.)

Me: “Sir, did you redial this number by accident?”

Customer: *still talking to his child* “Yes, yes, Santa. Jack is being naughty.”

Me: “Put me on speaker.”

Customer: “Jack, Santa wants to talk to you.”

(Puts me on speaker.)

Me: *in my best Santa voice* “Ho ho ho, Jack, you be good now so your Dad will let me bring lots of presents to you this year.”

Tiny Voice: “Yes, Santa, I promise.”

(Clicks off speaker.)

Customer: “Thanks for that. Couldn’t get him to go to bed.”

Me: “No problem. Merry Christmas.”

Santa Knows Who’s Being Naughty

| KY, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s Christmas Eve and I’m working until close. It’s been a very busy day, and I’m not exactly thinking clearly. I’m a girl in my early 20s, generally considered somewhat attractive, as I’m tall and thin with a rather large chest. A young handsome guy approaches the register with a friend, having a conversation in French.)

Me: “Hi there! Did you find everything you were looking for today?”

Customer: “Yes…” *he leans in close to me, over the counter* “Uh, Playboy have you done, no?”

(I blink at him in surprise for a few seconds. My immediate reaction is to take off my Santa hat, worried it somehow makes me look scantily dressed.)

Me: “I, erm, no, erm, what?”

Customer:Playboy. Magazine. Have you?”

Me: *realizing* “Oh! Oh, no, no, we don’t carry that.”

(He thanks me and we finish the transaction. A coworker, who overheard, leans over to me:)

Coworker: “It’s the Santa hat.”