Happens Every Holiday

| Newmarket, England, UK | Holidays

(I am working on a till on a bank holiday Monday. I have finished scanning items, the client is paying, and we are engaging in small talk:)

Me: “The weather is good for a bank holiday, isn’t it?”

Customer: “Yes, isn’t it lovely that everybody gets to enjoy a day off?”

Me: “…”

(I am clearly not here for fun!)

A Nice Hot Cup Of Willpower

| Denver, CO, USA | Food & Drink

(I am the customer/patient in this situation. My husband and I are at a nutritional seminar.)

Doctor: “Every day you get this much will power.” *holds his fingers less than an inch apart* “When that will power is gone, where do you think you get more will power?”

Me: “Coffee!”

Her Request Is A Bit Of A Squeeze

| USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I worked for a grocery store in a town with two major universities. The encounters with the student customers are always entertaining.)

Customer: “I’m looking for fresh squeezed orange juice.”

Me: “Yes, of course. We have a few options between the [Popular Brand] brand and our store brand…”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I need orange juice that was freshly squeezed today.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t carry anything like that here. We are just a grocery store.”

Customer: “Well, do you think you could go in the back and squeeze some for me?”

Me: “I apologize, but that just isn’t how it works. The best I can do is recommend the [Popular Brand]. It really is the best, freshest orange juice we carry.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not a Nazi or anything, but I refuse to drink anything that has been pasteurized.”

(I notice at this point that she has a gallon of milk in her basket…)

Me: “I’m sorry I can’t help you with this, but I can at least let you know that we do carry fresh oranges in our produce department.”

Customer: “Wait, you mean you expect me to squeeze my OWN orange juice?!”