The Cold Reality Of Drinking Alone

| Berkeley, CA, USA | Right | March 1, 2016

(I have had a long day at work and am stopping by a sake brewery on my way home to pick up some for the weekend.)

Me:” I’d like one… no, make that two large bottles of plum sake.”

Salesman: *while bagging my order* “How are you going to drink that?”

Me: *assuming he is asking how I can manage to drink three liters of sake on my own* “Hey! I have friends!”

Salesman: “I prefer to drink it warm, but some people like to drink it cold.”

(Turns out he was asking at what temperature I was going to serve it!)

Referring To A Different Kind Of Ride

| TX, USA | Right | March 1, 2016

(One of the slides at the park involves lying stomach-down or crouching on your knees on a mat. An older woman with her daughter are next in line.)

Woman: *to the lifeguard on duty* “Will I be okay on this ride? I have trouble getting on my knees.”

Daughter: “That’s not what Dad says.”

(The lifeguard could barely answer, he was laughing so hard!)

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 25

| OR, USA | Right | March 1, 2016

(I work front desk at a hotel.)

Me: “Front desk. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Guest: “Yes, I was just wondering if you could maybe turn down the wifi?”

Me: “I’m sorry… Could you repeat your question?”

Guest: “Yeah, could you please turn the wifi down?”

Me: “I’m sorry; you want me to turn the wifi down? Are you having trouble connecting to the Internet?”

Guest: “No, I want it off!”

Me: “Well, I can’t turn it off; otherwise the other guests won’t have any Internet either.”

Guest: “Well, could you at least turn it down a bit, then?”

Me: “If you don’t want any Internet you can simply disconnect any devices you have from the wifi, but I can’t turn it down.”

Guest: *grunts and gives a deep sigh* “Okay, obviously you have no idea what wifi is.”

(The guest hangs up and a few hours later he comes up to the front desk and wants to check out a day early.)

Me: “Was there something wrong with the room that I could help you with?”

Guest: “Yeah, I want to get out of here because your d*** wifi is so strong! Maybe you should turn it down a bit so people can get some rest!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I really don’t understand what you mean.”

Guest: “I’m leaving because I have a headache! If you had just turned down the f***ing wifi like I asked my head wouldn’t hurt so much!”

Me: “I’m… sorry?”

(The guest left in a rage and when I told my manager what had happened he laughed and agreed that he had no idea what was wrong with that guy.)

 

Stuck In A Vicious Bicycle

| VA, USA | Right | March 1, 2016

(We work in a single-story building. Our store is a little smaller than others of the same chain in the area. I am rearranging the lawnmowers when a woman approaches me.)

Woman: “Excuse me; I can’t seem to find the bicycles.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t carry bicycles in this store. We have a bicycle section with some small things, but you have to go to [Other Location] for actual bikes.”

Woman: “No, your BICYCLES. I need a bicycle.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t carry them.”

Woman: “YES, you DO!”

Me: “Our other stores do. Our store is too small.”

Woman: “I saw them YESTERDAY. Ugh.”

Me: “Really? Where?”

Woman: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “Maybe you were at [Other Location]?”

Woman: “You’re not LISTENING. Just show me the bicycle section.”

(I lead her to the bicycle section where we have a few spare tires, pumps, etc.)

Woman: No, where your BICYCLES ARE.

Me: *frustrated* “OHHH, our BICYCLES! Sorry, I didn’t understand. You are looking for our bicycles, but not at [Other Location]?”

Woman: “YES, FINALLY!”

Me: “The bicycles are upstairs!”

Woman: “WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SO THE FIRST TIME!?”

(She stormed off. I alerted the rest of our team about the crazy lady and fess up to sending her to our nonexistent upstairs. I got scolded later. Worth it.)

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This Isn’t Working For Me

| Right | February 29, 2016
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