Drive (Thru) The Price Up

| TX, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money

(For my drive-thru customers, I try to give them the price from memory. Also, some of our customers try to be funny by being outraged at our prices.)

Me: “That’ll be [price].”

Customer: “How much?!”

(As I’m getting his items, I notice that one of them costs slightly more than I remembered.)

Me: “It’s [correct, slightly higher price].”

Customer: “D***, I should have kept my mouth shut!”

Misread The Situation

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words

(I work on the front end of a well-known pharmacy as a cashier. We have four registers at the front, and only one is active right now, #3. There are signs on the other registers directing the customer to #3, with a bell included on #3 that says ‘please ring for service.’ I’m stocking an aisle, when a woman walks up to register #1.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’ll be right there to help you. Could you please go to register #3?”

Customer: “Sure, no problem.”

(I walk up behind the counter, logging onto register #3, while the woman has her items set out on register #4.)

Me: “Ma’am, could I help you at this register, please?”

Customer: “Oh, right. I guess it would help if I could read.”

Me: “Well, that’s not really my judgment to make.”

(The woman goes silent for the rest of the transaction. I ring her up, hand her her receipt, and ask if there’s anything else I can help her with.)

Customer: “No, but I certainly hope you’re nicer to your next customer!”

Wireless, Clueless And Hopeless, Part 15

| Sweden | Extra Stupid, Technology

(The ISP I work for recently made a drive about their new modem. It is marketed as being the easiest wireless system on the market. Unfortunately, the system isn’t that great and I have received 27 calls that day alone about malfunctioning modems.)

Me: “Hi, and welcome to [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How may I be of service?”

Caller: “The s*** you guys sold to me a while back isn’t working.”

Me: “That is very unfortunate, but thankfully I am here to help you. Name and address, please?

(She tells me her name and address and I check her history.)

Me: “It seems you have had our system for at least a month. Did it stop working just now?”

Caller: “That’s right. I’ve had it for a month, but I only started using it this morning and it doesn’t work at all.”

Me: “Then could you please tell me which lights are shining on the front of your modem?”

(The most common mistake is that the customer hasn’t switched on the wifi on the modem.)

Caller: “None, of course.”

Me: “Not even the power light at the top?”

Caller: “Should it?”

Me: “Yes. Please verify that the power cable is plugged into the modem.”

Caller: “What cable? Isn’t this supposed to be wireless?”

Me: *awkward silence* “Well…”

Caller: “What the f***? Are you telling me that your ads are straight-up lying to me?”

Me: “What is meant by wireless is that you don’t need to connect your computer to the modem. Can you please attach your modem to the wall socket by the cable provided?”

Caller: “Are you a f****** idiot? I threw away all cables! I mean, I thought you sent them by mistake!”

Me: *somewhat taken aback* “And it didn’t occur to you that electronics run on electricity?”

Caller: “I WANT A REFUND! YOU PEOPLE LIED TO ME!”

Me: “You are on a contract that will last for another three years and since more than two weeks has passed since it was bought, you can’t.”

Caller: “YOU F****** LYING PIECE OF GODD*** C***-S***!”

Me: “But since you obviously are quite upset I will transfer you to the cancellation department so you may sort it out with them. Have a nice day.”

(I transfer her call to our cancellation department. The last thing I hear is the queue voice going: ‘You are on place… one-hundred and… eighty… seven. Estimated waiting time is… two-hundred and… fifty… five minutes…’)

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 14
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 13
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 12

Match Point To You

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Money

(We have a price matching policy that gives 15% off the regular price from other stores, but there are conditions. It has to be off full price, personal shopping only, no online stores, and we have to be able to confirm it with the other store first. A customer thrusts a printed sheet for the price of a sewing machine from another store. She also hands me a printout from our site, stating our discount policy.  This is the first time I’ve dealt with this sort of sale so I take the time to read both printouts.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but this for an online purchase. Our policy does not include online.”

Customer: “They have a shop front.”

Me: “If that is right then I will need to ring them for confirmation.”

(There’s no answer when I ring due to it being a Sunday and the store being closed. I am still reading the printouts when I notice that the price shown is discounted.)

Me: “Sorry, there’s no answer, and I’ve just noticed that this price is discounted. We don’t match discount prices.”

Customer: “It’s not discounted. It’s the normal price.”

Me: “No, sorry. It shows both discount and full price. That full price is actually more than we sell the item for.”

Customer: “No. It’s their normal price and you have to match it.”

Me: “No, we do not match discount prices or online sales.”

Customer: “Now you are just making things up. What other excuses are you going to come up with?”

Me: “I would like to point out that I am reading this directly off the discount policy that you printed off and gave to me.”

Customer: *snatches both sheets off me* “Well, we’ll just go to the other store then!” *storms out*

September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!

Not Always Right | Announcements, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month
Introducing September’s Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!

Entering is easy:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about this month’s theme: Return Of The Geeks. Share a story about customers who never underestimate the power of the Geek side!
  2. At the end of the month, we’ll feature our favorite Theme Of The Month stories in a roundup!
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