Closed Down Compassion

| OR, USA | Right | October 12, 2015

(I work at a grocery store that was bought out by an out of state chain. After only three months, they decide to close almost half of the newly acquired stores. Everyone at my store is on edge and very emotional.)

Customer: “How dare you!”

Coworker: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “How dare you close this store? It’s the only one downtown; I won’t be able to shop.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, everyone that works here is upset about the situation. We had nothing to do with the—”

Customer: *interrupting* “I don’t care. You can’t close the store. Where will I shop?”

(My coworker starts sobbing.)

Me: *stepping in* “Listen. The employees here had nothing to do with this. The store managers had nothing to do with this. WE. ARE. ALL. LOSING. OUR. JOBS! I’m sure you’ll recover from the great inconvenience of having to drive an extra mile and a half, but everyone here is facing unemployment. Please consider that, and have a nice day.”

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Unplugged From Reality

| DE, USA | Right | October 12, 2015

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “My TV isn’t working.”

(After verifying the caller and running through some basic stuff:)

Me: “I’m sorry for the trouble. The cable box doesn’t seem to be responding. I will need you to unplug it.”

Caller: “How do I do that?”

Me: “Just pull the cord from the wall.”

Caller: *getting irritated* “SIR! I’M NOT AN ELECTRICIAN!”

End Credits Gets You Know Credit

| Petaluma, CA, USA | Right | October 12, 2015

(The movie has just ended and the only couple in attendance stay in their seats and continue watching the credits. Note: we only show one movie per night, so when it’s over we try to hurry and clean up so we can leave. For some reason the credits stop about five seconds early.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Why were the credits just cut off? That’s not where they were supposed to end and that was a beautiful song!!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, ma’am. The projector runs until the movie is over, so I think that’s where the reel ended.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t! I’m a musician and that was a beautiful song and I’m going to talk to the owner about what you guys did tonight! That was so rude to such an amazing work of art!”

Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m very sorry. I can see why you’re upset but I really think it was just the projector.”

Customer: “Well, I’m still mad about it. And the ventilation system in here is too loud! I could barely hear the movie! And these carpets are getting so worn; you really need to replace them!”

Me: *as couple walks out* “Yeah, I’m the janitor but I’ll get right on ordering new carpeting…”

(Afterwards my supervisor thanked me for getting rid of her and apologized because it was him who cut the credits short thinking it would make them leave sooner. Oops!)

Wish You Could Chicken Out

USA | Right | October 11, 2015

Customer: “I’ll have a chicken sandwich.”

Me: “What kind of chicken?”

Customer: “Chicken.”

Me: “What kind of chicken?”

Customer: “Chicken!”

Me: “We have multiple kinds – the chicken breast, the chicken bacon ranch, the sriracha chicken melt, the chicken teriyaki, the buffalo chicken, and the cordon bleu. What kind?”

Customer: “The kind you always give me.”

Me: “Sir, I don’t know what your regular is.”

Customer: “Chicken Teriyaki.”

Me: “Thank you. Provolone, pepperjack, white American cheese?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *looks for the nearest wall to bang his head into*

Doesn’t Take Account Of The Line

| RI, USA | Right | October 11, 2015

(I have just got home from college out of state. I have opened an account with a new bank while at college, but want to move my money into an account in my home state with the same bank.)

Teller: “Okay, so you want to open an account here and transfer your savings. Would you please have a seat in our waiting area? Someone will be right with you.”

(I go to sit down. I’m the only one there, so I figure I’m next. Five minutes later, a filthy older man comes in and sits down in a chair nearby, reeking of beer and muttering to himself.)

Man: “D*** b**** better keep her god-d*** mouth shut… Can’t take it… Can’t… F***** b****… Doesn’t respect me… No respect… Never get respect. He better shut his f***** mouth… I’ll kill him… Got enough bullets… I’ll get him… I’ll get that b****… Talkin’ about me… Teach her to keep her d*** mouth shut…”

(He continues to mutter to himself as I remain as still and quiet as I can. An employee walks out to smile at me, having seen me sit down first. The man gets up and instantly walks to her.)

Man: “I need help with my account… It’s busted…”

Employee #1: “Oh… um, okay… Right this way…” *looks to me and mouths ‘sorry!’ as they go into her cubicle*

(Five minutes later…)

Employee #2: “Hey, I’m so sorry about that… He comes in every week and just… Yeah.”

Me: “Oh, it’s okay. If he honestly believed that he was first in line, I was NOT going to tell him otherwise.”

Employee: *nods, looking scared*

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