The Sport Caught Her Short

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I work at a popular athletic clothing/sports equipment store.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss? I need some spandex shorts for my daughter. She’s joining volleyball.”

(I am excited to help because it’s my favorite sport.)

Me: “Of course! Let’s choose a color first. Black is the norm, but we also have red, a bunch of blues, and some lovely patterned ones.”

Customer: “I’m just looking for black.”

Me: “Sure. Does it matter what brand?”

Customer: “I don’t think she’d care. What lengths do you have?”

Me: “Two inches, three inches, and five inches are the regular lengths. We also have seven inches, but those are usually seen as too long.”

Customer: *flabbergasted* “Only seven inches?! She’ll look like a whore!”

Me: “Ma’am, five inches is quite enough cover. It’s about the same length as denim shorts. Seven inches goes a bit past the middle of the thighs.”

Customer: *getting angry* “It doesn’t matter! They’re too short and tight!”

Me: “No disrespect, ma’am, but have you considered signing your daughter up for a sport with a uniform that doesn’t include tight shorts? Like soccer, or basketball, maybe?”

Trying To Go Beyond Beyonders

| USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I’m working in the kids’ section of our bookstore.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for the fourth book in the ‘Beyonders’ series.”

Me: “Oh, well, ‘Beyonders’ is a trilogy.”

Customer: “Okay. Do you have the fourth book?”

Me: “It’s a trilogy, so there isn’t a fourth book. But I can show you some of the other books by that author. He’s pretty popular!”

Customer: “No, my son wants the fourth book of the Beyonders, not something else. Can you order it for me?”

Me: “No, because there isn’t a fourth book.”

Customer: “My son SAID he wants the FOURTH BOOK. Just show me where they are and I’ll find it myself.”

(I show her where the three books are. After combing through the shelf for five minutes, the woman leaves empty handed and angry.)

Customer: “I’ll just order it online!”

Filled With Creamy Justice

| USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

Customer: “I’d like a donut.”

Me: “What kind would you like?”

Customer: *points out the donut* “But use tongs to pick it up.”

Me: “Tongs?”

Customer: “I don’t want anything touched by your white hands.”

Me: “Okay…”

(I use the tongs, and complete the sale.)

Customer: *takes bite of donut* “This is good.”

Me: “I made it fresh this morning. With my white hands.”

To Give Credit Where Credit Is Due

| NS, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work for a retail company and some of the things we sell have rebates. Customer fills out form, sends it in, 4-6 weeks later they receive a prepaid Visa card in the mail. Pretty simple, right?)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I am FURIOUS!”

Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry to hear that. What happened?”

Customer: “You sent me a Visa card in the mail! I just got it!”

Me: “You mean a prepaid one, right?”

Customer: “Exactly!”

Me: “Oookay… Something wrong with it?”

Customer: “I didn’t tell you to send me this!”

Me: “Sir, did you recently fill out a rebate form?”

Customer: “Yeah! On a ream of paper.”

Me: “Well, that’s what we send you- a prepaid Visa card. You can use it anywhere. Was it for the right amount?”

Customer: “Yes.. But I didn’t give you authorization to use my personal information!”

Me: “What do you mean?

Customer: “In order to send me this you had to go in and get my credit card information! I didn’t give that to you! How did you get that?”

Me: “Sir, it’s prepaid. There is money already on it,. Once you use it, it is gone. You don’t need to pay it off. It’s like a gift card. We don’t have your credit information. We don’t need your credit information. It’s perfectly safe.”

Customer: “Yeah?! Well, I didn’t tell you to send it to me!”

Me: “Did you fill out the form?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Then you told us to send you that.”

Customer: “Well, you should state what you’re sending me on the form!”

Me: “We do… at the top… in big bold letters.”

Customer:  “Yeah, but-”

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

(I guess some people have nothing better to do.)

To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 5
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 4
To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 3

Even Jack Reacher Can’t Fix This One

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Books & Reading

(Two women, talking extremely loud, walk in. I let them browse and keep on with fixing a display because it’s a mess. Suddenly one starts yelling:)

Customer: “IS LEE CHILD DEAD?!”

(I realise that she’s screaming at me… from the other side of the shop.)

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: *with a great deal of attitude* “I SAID… IS LEE CHILD DEAD? WHY AREN’T YOU LISTENING TO ME?!”

Me: “I apologise, ma’am. Usually people walk over to me, or say hello first, when they have a request or a question.”

Customer: “Well, I was too busy talking to my friend! YOU should have been eavesdropping on our conversation!”

Me: “So I could butt in and tell you about Lee Child?”

Customer: “No! How DARE you?! I come in here to relax, not to be bothered by know-it-all shop people!”

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