A Bad Case Of The Mondays

| UK | Funny Names, Health & Body, Top

(I’m working the reception at a physiotherapist’s office. A patient enters. She’s looking a little stressed.)

Patient: “Hi, I’ve got a prescription at [time].”

Me: “Uh… a prescription?”

Patient: *shakes her head* “No, I meant… an appointment. An appointment at uh… ten to… quarter… Mr. [Name], no… [Other Name]… oh for crying out loud!”

(She stops abruptly, turns around and walks out. I sit there a little stunned. Then the door opens and she comes back in.)

Patient: “Good morning. I’ve got an appointment to see Mr. [Name] at [time].”

Me: “Ah yes, there you are. Just go take a sheep—”

(I stop, embarrassed. The patient smiles.)

Patient: “Monday mornings, right?”

Capable Of Handicapping The Capable

, | TX, USA | Health & Body, Top

(My grandmother is 96 years old, but she is still able to drive. A car without a handicapped license plate cuts her off and pulls into the handicapped spot, so she has to park further down. She walks with her cane past the 20-something young man who took her spot.)

Grandmother: “I know we aren’t supposed to judge others because we never know what they are going through, so I am going to assume you needed that parking space more than I did.”

Young Man: *turning red and not making eye contact* “Sorry about that, ma’am. Um… can I help you into the store?”

Grandmother: “Thank you, I knew you were really a nice young man.” *takes his arm* “I’ve been a widow for almost 20 years, and it’s been a long time since a man offered to walk me anywhere.”

Makes You Want To Run A Mile In No One’s Shoes

| Kent, WA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I’m working alone at a smaller store in a well-known local chain. Only two of the 20 locations in the state sell shoes, but people always ask. I’m ringing up a customer when the phone rings.)

Me: “Sorry, I have to grab that.”

Customer: “Okay! No problem.”

Me: “Thank you for calling [store] in Kent; how can I help you?”

(Silence.)

Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [store] in Kent.”

Caller: *screaming* “HI, DO YOU GUYS HAVE SHOES?”

Me: “Sorry, no, the only stores that have shoes are [location] and [location].”

Caller: “ARE YOU SURE?”

Me: “…yeah, you have to go to either [location] or [location] if you want shoes.”

Caller: “I DON’T LIKE THAT ANSWER.”

Me: “Sorry, but that’s the only one I have for you. Anything else I can do for you tonight?”

Caller: “NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN! UGH!” *click*

Me: “Well, okay then…”

Customer: *laughing* “Sounds like you’re having a great night so far!”

The Generation Size Gap

| Hampshire, England, UK | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I’m standing near the front of the store, greeting customers as they come in. An elderly gentleman enters with a walking stick.)

Me: “Hello.” *smiling*

Customer: *suddenly frowning* “GOOD GOD! GOOD GOD!”

Me: “Are you okay?”

Customer: “GOOD GOD!” *raises stick and pokes me in the stomach with it* “Would you look at that?! You could live for years! Forever in that body!”

Me: “Erm, thanks?!”

Customer: “No! I mean you must be one of those genetic throwbacks! You don’t get trim girls anymore. Girls these days are FAT FAT FAT! I bet you could even run if you needed to!”

Me: “Sometimes I run; I mostly just eat healthy really.”

Customer: “GOOD GOD! I must go and get Marjorie from the CD shop and show you to her! GOOD GOD!”

(He turns and leaves, but never does return. Not even with Marjorie.)

Coffee Cookie Kindness

, | USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Top

(It is a busy Sunday morning, and I accidentally turn my register off. It takes about five minutes for the system to completely reboot and get back up and running. In that time a customer has pulled into my drive-thru lane.)

Me: “Sorry, it should be just a minute before I can get your order in.”

(As I say this, my computer crashes and I have to reboot it again. Since there is a line of customers ahead of them, they can’t pull up to the window to order either.)

Me: *over the speaker* “I am so sorry about this! As soon as we get the line moving, I can get your order in at the first window.”

Customer: “Don’t worry about it; we’re not in a hurry. Take your time!”

(It takes two more minutes before I can get their coffee order in and they get to the first window to pay. They speak to my coworker.)

Coworker: “Hello folks! Sorry it took so long. Your order has been paid for already, so go ahead and drive up to the next window.”

Customer: “Paid for? Who paid for our order?”

Coworker: “Actually, the girl that took your order felt so bad about her computer crashing she paid for your coffees.”

(They leave a verbal thank you for me and leave. I think this is the end until an hour later the manager is screaming my name.)

Manager: “What did you DO?!”

Me: “I don’t know; what happened?”

(The manager shows me the huge tray of piping hot homemade cookies. Apparently the customer’s wife decided to repay my kindness and made us all cookies! Best day of work ever!)