Someone Toad Him Different

| USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a well-known game store. The year is 2008.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Video Game Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you have a copy of Battletoads?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “No, we do not, sadly.”

Customer: “That sucks.”

(About a week later:)

Me: *on the phone* “Hello. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Do you have a copy of Battletoads?”

Me: “No, sir, we do not!”

Caller: “It’s been five days. How come?!”

Me: *in shock* “IS THIS THE SAME CUSTOMER?!”

Caller: “Yes! I want my d*** Battletoads for my PS3, dumb-a**!”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Sir, Battletoads has been out of print for 17 years now. And I doubt it’s on the PS3.”

Caller: “Well, YOU’RE just a d*** MORON?!” *hangs up*

Me: *shrugs*

(A day later, the same customer walks into the store.)

Customer: “HEY, YOU! I WANT MY BATTLETOADS!”

Me: “Sir, WE. DO. NOT. HAVE. BATTLETOADS!”

Customer: “My brother told me you have it. I want it NOW!”

Me: “You’re brother must’ve been mistaken.”

Customer: “I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT! I’M GONNA FIND MY D*** BATTLETOADS IF I’M GONNA HAVE TO DESTROY THIS ENTIRE STORE!”

(The customer then proceeds to go on a rampage through the entire store, knocking over multiple games and destroying several others. We had to call the police to arrest him. An hour later, his brother shows up)

Customer’s Brother: “Hey, my brother told me you guys ripped him off.”

Me: “Eh, you do know he was looking for a game called Battletoads, right?”

Customer’s Brother: “Oh, god. I can’t believe he fell for that. I told him to do that just to get that moron out of my house. I’m so sorry about that.”

Me: “It’s okay.”

Customer’s Brother: “I’m surprised he didn’t even know about that prank anyway.”

(Turns out that asking for ‘Battletoads’ at any video game store is a popular prank done by people to piss off the employees.)

In Desperate Need Of Books

| UK | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid

(A teenager is looking for a book with her mother. The mother approaches me.)

Customer’s Mum: “Hi, do you have books by Cheryl Cole?”

Me: “I don’t think she’s released any yet. We do have some biographies about her life, though. Let me show you.”

Teen Customer: “I’m meant to write some dumb essay for English on a true story written by the person.”

Me: “Ah, so you’d be looking for an autobiography.”

(Both customers stare at me blank.)

Me: “… I’m afraid she hasn’t released an autobiography yet. The only biography we have on her is this unauthorized one.”

Customer’s Mum: “Oh! See? Unauthorized! That means she wrote it herself, right?”

He’s Not Exactly Professor X(Ray)

| UK | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(An elderly man in a wheelchair comes into the clinic waiting room accompanied by his adult son. This clinic is held upstairs.)

Nurse: “Mr. [Man]?”

Man: “Yep.”

Nurse: “You’ll need an x-ray before you see [Consultant].”

Man: “I’m not having no x-ray. I’ve had enough x-rays!”

Nurse: “Well, [Consultant] has requested a new x-ray before he sees you today.”

Man: “No, I’m not having no x-ray.”

Nurse: “Did you want me to cancel your appointment today, then?”

Man: “No, I’m here. I want my appointment.”

Nurse: Well, [Consultant] can’t do anything unless you have a new x-ray.”

Man: “Fine! I’ll have the x-ray.”

Nurse: “Okay, then. If you’ll just take the lift to go downstairs to x-ray—”

Man: “Down? I’ve just come up in the lift! I’m not going down again! I’ve had enough of this: up in the lift, down in the lift. I don’t like lifts! I’m not going down in any lift. You can’t make me.”

Son: “I reckon you’ll be staying here all night, then, Dad. We’re on the second floor.”

The Poster Child For Unreasonableness, Part 2

| USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Tourists/Travel

(This customer has spent 10 minutes complaining about minor things from her recent cruise from the weather to the color of the carpet.)

Customer: “Also, every night at dinner the unruly children we sat with would cry, whine, and pitch a fit. It wasn’t the upscale experience we expected and ruined our entire cruise.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. As you are traveling again this year, I can certainly have a bottle of wine sent to your room for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “I hope you’ll do the same for my sister and her family. She always travels with us, so it would only be fair.

Me: *pulls up reservation* “I see you were scheduled to sit with her and her three children on the last cruise. Did they not accommodate you to dine together?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. We had a table of six.”

Me: “… So the unruly children?”

Customer: “Her bratty kids should never have been allowed in the dining room!”

Related:
The Poster Child For Unreasonableness

Planning Your Trip Is A Fine Art

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Bizarre

(I am working for an interior decorating company, and we are clearing out our inventory of framed art for the season. I load up the vehicle and hit a road full of office complexes to see if anyone wants the art wholesale for the office or home or whatnot. I come to a large office full of cubicles and some employees buy a few. The final person I talk to appears to be the head boss man of the company. I poke my head into his office.)

Me: “Morning, sir.”

(I wave.)

Boss: “What do you want?”

Me: “Well, this seems a bit random, but my company’s clearing out a bunch of nice framed art wholesale, and we were wondering if you’d like anything for your office or home?”

(He looks at me VERY sternly for what seems like a whole minute of angry silence.)

Boss: “What do you have that goes good with acid?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Boss: “You know; stuff that looks neat while you’re on acid.”

Me: “Umm, we have some Van Gogh, Dali, and some new art from David Garibaldi.”

Boss: “Bring em in!”

(I go outside and haul in probably a dozen pieces of art and lay them along the wall in front of his desk so he can see them. Another painfully quiet moment goes by while he looks them over.)

Boss: “I’ll take the whole lot! You take credit right?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Would you like any of these hung up?”

Boss: “Yeah, put that trippy-a** clock one over there.”

(Possibly one of the more memorable customers in my two years with that company.)

Page 889/2,924First...887888889890891...Last