Underwear Unaware

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(My place of work is fairly well known in my town and the surrounding area. My boss’s wife occasionally works in the shop.)

Customer: “Oh, you know, I’m great friends with [Boss]. We go way back.”

Boss’s Wife: “Oh, really? That’s funny, because I’ve been washing his underwear for ten years and I have absolutely no idea who you are!”

Data Can Be Fluid

| NJ, USA | Spouses & Partners, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work at an office supply store that also sells technology. I work in the supplies department, and get a call:)

Me: “Office supplies, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I was wondering, do you have hard drive fluid?”

Me: “…hard drive fluid? That’s… not a thing.”

Customer: “Yes, it is! Do you have any?!”

Me: “Let me transfer you to the technology department. They’ll be able to assist you.”

(I transfer him to a coworker who comes to talk to me after.)

Coworker: “Hard drive fluid?”

Me: “Yeah, I have no idea.”

Coworker: “You know that was your boyfriend, right?”

Me: “No…”

(That was not the first, or last, time my boyfriend called to prank the store, where he previously worked, although he never tried it on me again.)

Rated Immature

| NY, USA | Movies & TV, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(The video store I work at has a ‘back room’ installed and most people call to double check that, yes, we do rent adult videos.)

Caller: “Hey, I’ve got a list of titles and I wanted to know if you have them for rent.”

Me: “Sure, go ahead.”

Caller: “All right. Deep Throat?” *background giggling*

Me: *checks* “Nope, we don’t carry that one.”

Caller: “Darn, my niece will be so disappointed.” *more giggling*

(I’m not fazed by this stuff by this point, so I keep going since it isn’t busy.)

Me: “Any others?”

Caller: “Ha ha, yeah… Debbie Does Dallas?”

Me: *checks* “Well the first one is rented out, but the second and fifth ones are in stock.”

Caller: “Wait, really?”

Me: *confused* “Yeah, really.”

Caller: “You guys ACTUALLY rent porn?”

Me: “Yeah… We have a whole section in the back of the store.”

Caller: “Wow, REALLY? All right, I’ll be in later then. Wait, wait… Do you have newer stuff?”

Me: “Yeah, the older titles are mostly just the really famous ones.”

Caller: “Awesome. That call went a lot better than I thought it would.”

(He turned out to be a repeat customer.)