Acting Bittersweet About The Sweets

| Serbia | Extra Stupid, Money, Theme Of The Month

(I was working as a promoter for a [Popular Brand] inside a supermarket telling people that they can buy certain items within the brand for a certain amount of money and then receive a gift at the front. I explain this to one woman.)

Customer: “Do dark chocolates count?”

Me: “Yes, they certainly do.”

Customer: “But they didn’t count last week.”

Me: “I wasn’t aware of that; I worked in a different store last week, but I assure you, you will receive your gift if you buy the dark chocolates.”

(The woman was still suspicious, so I showed her the list of products that I had in my hand.)

Customer: “What about the one for cooking?”

Me: “Yes, that one counts as well.”

Customer: “But they didn’t count last week!””

Me: “Again, I know nothing about that.”

(I show her my list again.)

Customer: “How much is it?”

Me: “I’m not sure. It’s around [price], but if you look over there, just a couple of meters away, you’ll see the exact price.”

Customer: “How do you not know the price? You work here.”

Me: “Actually, I don’t work in the supermarket. I don’t even work for [Popular Brand]. I work for a marketing agency that was hired by the brand. I work in different stores every week and the prices vary.”

Customer: “You know, I’m older and, therefore, wiser, so I’ll forgive you this time, but there are all sorts of idiots out there that are going to make a fuss about something as trivial as this. I would advise you to try and do your job a little better next time. But it’s okay.”

(She kissed me on the cheek, smiled a fake smile, and walked away without the chocolates.)

Not Showing Growth As A Person

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body

(I am a male with long hair. Sometimes when I feel like being a smart-a**, most of the time really, I end up having this conversation with other long haired men, in this case being a worker at a retail place. People tend to respond the same way, so it usually plays out the same way.)

Me: “That long hair makes you look like a girl.”

(The clerks features rapidly shift to annoyance, then confusion when they see my long hair, then anger.)

Clerk: “Well, YOUR long hair makes you look like a girl, too!”

Me: “No. No, it doesn’t. You see *points* I have a beard. So, my long hair makes me look look a dumba**. YOUR long hair makes you look like a girl.”

Clerk: *stunned*

Me: “Why don’t you have a beard?”

Found The ID But Lost The Plot

| VA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(In college, I work at the bookstore. Students can use their ID cards to make purchases, and the charges would go on their bill with tuition, room and board, etc. If a student attempted to make a purchase with an ID that had been replaced, I would see an error message, and the student would need to use a different method of payment. This happens as I am finishing a transaction.)

Me: “Your total is [total]. How would you like to pay?”

Student: *hands me ID card*

Me: *gets error message that the ID has been lost/stolen* “I’m sorry, but your ID card has been replaced. I need your new ID to process the sale.”

Student: “No, no, no. This is the new ID. I just got it yesterday.”

Me: “This can’t be the new ID because I’m getting an error message that this card has been reported lost or stolen. That message only comes up after you’ve replaced an ID.”

Student: *puts both hands on counter and leans in* “Do you meant to tell me that I somehow managed to lose my original ID, get it replaced, lose the new ID, and then find my old ID without noticing?!”

Me: “Um, yes?”

Student: *agitated* “How is that even possible?!” *storms out*

The Currency Of Understanding

, | Germany | Bizarre, Money, Tourists/Travel

(The year is 2010. The euro has been introduced as a common currency throughout Europe in 2002. An elderly lady approaches me, picks some items, and wants to pay.)

Me: “That is 28.50.”

Elderly Lady: “Oh, so little? Are you sure?”

(I notice her picking out some old Austrian schillings from her purse.)

Me: “I’m sorry. ma’am. You can’t pay with those here; this is outdated currency.”

Elderly Lady: “No, no! I have always paid with them!” *picks out some more* “Look, I have money!”

Me: “Lady, I’m sure you have enough, but… I simply cannot accept Austrian schillings. We have the EURO.”

Elderly Lady: “Yes, yes, I understand. You want deutschmarks? I don’t have any deutschmarks. Schillings, you take?”

Me: *suddenly understanding* “Yes, ma’am. That would be… 280 schillings, please.”

(I pack her things, she hands me 250 old Austrian schillings, but I go with it. She seems to have disappeared with her travel group, when a younger lady, also speaking Austrian dialect, turns up.)

Younger Lady: “Hey, there. Did my grandmother bother you?”

Me: “What grandmother? Do you mean…”

Younger Lady: “Yeah, my granny. Did she try to pay with schillings?”

Me: “In fact, she did. And I sold her something.”

Younger Lady: “Well, you shouldn’t have sold her anything. What’s her bill?”

Me: “28.50; but as I said, she already paid. I took her schillings. Maybe I can exchange them for something.”

Younger Lady: “No! Give them back to me. She’ll be mad about not having them! How much did you say?”

Me: “€28.50.”

Younger Lady: *hands me over two 20 Euro bills* “Keep it, for goodness’ sake!”

Me: “No way, ma’am. That’s far too much.”

Younger Lady: “Well, then give me 10 back.”

Me: “Fair enough; thank you.”

(The rest of the day, I wondered why my supply of ‘free’ coffee and food worked so fine. Later on, I realized that the young lady had left some money at every booth near mine because I was so friendly to her grandmother, who suffered from Alzheimer’s, which I didn’t realize immediately. Thank you, ladies, you were amazing!)

Gotta Catch All The Compliments

| NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(A mother and her twelve-year-old son are preparing to leave. While she goes to hit the bathroom really quickly, her son is standing by the hostess stand and I notice his Pokémon hat. He starts walking towards the door.)

Me: “Goodbye! Have a nice day!”

Boy: “Thank you. You, too!”

Me: “Oh, and by the way, nice Charizard hat!”

(The boy stops in the doorway and slowly turns, staring at me incredulously.)

Boy: “How did you know?!”

(I lean over the stand, and stare at him will all the intensity I can muster.)

Me: “Dude. I LOVE Pokémon. I’ve been playing it since I was in elementary school!”

(The boy gets all giddy. At this point, the mother leaves the bathroom and the two head outside. But just before they get out of earshot, I hear the little guy say this:)

Boy: “Mom, mom! She liked my hat! I told you I would find somebody!”

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