Not Linked To Reality

| Europe | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

Client: “This is not what we requested at all. This [document] looks exactly the same as we provided a week ago. The deadline is tomorrow, we need this ASAP! When can you apply the edits?”

Me: “[Client], there seems to be a misunderstanding. I click the link and see the entirely new document. Have you checked this [link]?”

Client: “Found it. This should have been sent sooner.”

Me: “There were three versions sent earlier during the week to your email. Did you not receive them? Just to show, I’ve attached screenshots of the timestamps and emails sent.”

Client: “I did not scroll down to see the emails in Gmail. Please notify us earlier if I haven’t seemed to have noticed the link in your opinion.”

Me: “…”

Been Ladle-fed Her Entire Life

| New Ulm, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I am called over by a customer to the kitchen department.)

Customer: “I’m looking for a metal ladle. I need it to match my other utensils.”

Me: *showing her the three plastic ladles we have, no metal ones* “Sorry, it seems we only have plastic ones, not metal. You could possibly check online.”

Customer: *clearly annoyed* “No, I need a metal ladle. I don’t want to go online for any crap you’re trying to sell me.”

Me: “I’m sorry. We’re a lot smaller than other stores. We don’t have as large of a variety as the other ones do.”

Customer: “I need my ladle. You’ll order one for me and I’ll be here to pick it up in three days exactly.”

Me: “We can’t do that, ma’am. We have thing shipped to us through a system. We get bulk orders of items that the systems recognizes we need, whether we have run out or they are sent for a new season.”

Customer: “I’ll be back in three days.” *to her daughter in the cart* “The customer is always right, sweetie. You demand, and then you get. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I’ll get my ladle and they can’t do anything about it.”

(She walked away while I tried to explain there was no way we could order one of an item, again…)

Bring You Bach To The Future

, | MN, USA | History, Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

Caller: *has a strange, whistly and whiny voice* ” Hi, I’d like some organ music by Bach, played by Bach.”

Me: “Well, we have a lot of recordings of Bach’s organ music but we don’t have any of him performing it.”

Caller: “Well, why not?”

Me: “Recording technology hadn’t been invented when Bach was alive.                 ”

Caller: “Well, why not?”

Me: “Well, in the late 1800’s, Thomas Edison invented—”

Caller: “[My Name], it’s [Coworker].”

(One of my coworkers had played the perfect music nerd prank on me!)