Not In Her Charitable Shoes

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I’m an assistant manager in a charity shop. As we’re a charity, we don’t do any refunds unless the item is damaged, although we do take exchanges or credit with a receipt. There is a large printed sign clearly stating our refund policy on the counter. A volunteer calls me out to deal with a customer.)

Volunteer: “This lady wants a refund for these shoes.”

Me: “Okay, what’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “They’re the wrong size.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I’m afraid we don’t do refunds unless the item is damaged. I can give you an exchange, or a store credit.”

Customer: *begins to get angry” “You didn’t tell me that I couldn’t get a refund when I bought them. That’s false advertising! All other shops do refunds!”

Me: *points to sign that is literally ON THE COUNTER* “There is a sign right here that states our refund policy; we can’t ask our volunteers to recite it to every customer. If you had asked when you bought the shoes then we would have explained the policy to you. All our profits go to charity, which is why we don’t offer refunds; most other charity shops have the exact same policy.”

Customer: “That sign is too low; it’s ridiculous to expect people to read that!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there is nowhere else that we could put the sign, and I feel that it’s quite clear. It’s on the counter, so everybody who buys something can see it.”

Customer: “You should put it there!” *points to a display cabinet*

Me: “Um… If we put it there, nobody would be able to see things inside the cabinet.”

Customer: *by this point she is practically shouting in my face* “That’s not my problem! Your sign isn’t clear enough! I want a refund for these shoes. They’re for my mother and they’re the wrong size.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I really can’t give you a refund because you bought shoes the wrong size. You can have an exchange or credit.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! This is RIDICULOUS, it’s false advertising, and I’m not leaving without a refund.”

(My manager and another manager who happened to be in the shop have come out to try to calm the customer down.)

Manager: “Everything she’s said is absolutely right. Our policy is stated right in front of you and as a charity shop, we don’t do refunds. It’s a very common policy.”

Customer: “I’m going to call the police! I can’t believe this! I’m calling them now!” *she takes out her phone*

(At this point, another customer steps in:)

Customer #2: “If you call the police, who do you think they’re going to have a problem with: the shop following their policy, which is stated RIGHT THERE, or you screaming in their faces?”

(The customer shouts some more about calling the police and then leaves, throwing the shoes on the counter.)

Manager: “Out of interest, how much were the shoes?”

Me: “£5…”

Giving You A (Prison) Break

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink

Customer #1: “Thank God, this line is taking forever.”

(There is no line at all, although the tables are mostly occupied.)

Me: “Sorry about the wait, sir. May I take your order?”

(The customer proceeds to rattle off a long, confusing, and often contradictory order, including such things as a meatless ham sandwich.)

Me: “Sir, I’m a little confused by your order. Do you mean—”

Customer #1: “—oh for God’s sake, I have to repeat myself now? Weren’t you paying attention the first time?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t want to get anything wrong. You made a big order, and—”

Customer #1: *sighs* “I’ll repeat myself, but just this once. I hate dealing with lazy ignorant dropouts like you.”

(He repeats his order, but I understand it even less because I am trying not to cry. He finishes speaking and snaps his fingers at me.)

Customer #1: “Hello?! Punch it in, you dumb b****. I haven’t got all day, and—”

(Suddenly one of the other customers; a strongly-built man who has been quietly sitting at a nearby table, roars and leaps to his feet, flipping the table and spilling his coffee in the process.)

Customer #2: “GOD-D*** IT! ONE DAY OUT OF PRISON, AND ALREADY I HAVE TO MURDER AN IDIOT IN A COFFEE STORE!”

(The rude customer shrieks and flees from the store. I and the remaining customers stare at the man, who quietly picks up the table and comes over to the counter.)

Customer #2: “I’ll pay for any damage. If you could show me where the mops are, I’ll take care of the mess too.”

Me: “I-I-I, um…”

Customer #2: “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. There’s always gonna be an a** like that around.”

Me: “Uh, you, um…”

Customer #2: “Oh, the prison thing?” *laughs* “Never been in jail in my life. So, anyway, where’s that mop?”

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Having A ‘Hey’ Day

| MN, USA | Awesome Workers, Funny Names

(I work in a store that sells various parts for various machines. It’s a policy/allowance that customers can bring in items that need a replacement to help us better identify what they are looking for at the store. This particular customer brings in an item I’ve never seen before.)

Customer #1: “Hello, can you help me find a replacement part for this?”

Me: “I can definitely try; do you know what it is?”

Customer #1: “Yes, it’s a fuel tank cap.”

Me: *after looking through the book to see if we have anything like it* “I’m afraid we don’t sell that in our store, but we can order it for you special if you’d like.”

(The customer now turns extremely rude.)

Customer #1: “You know what, I’m just gonna go find a store that actually sells what they say they are going to sell, and actually has it in stock. Okay, missy?”

(She turns to walk away, and I go to finish a task I had started.)

Customer #1: “Hey! Hey you in the shirt!”

(I turn around to see the customer who had the tank cap is talking to me again.)

Customer #1: “Hey, my husband needs help here.”

Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer #2: “Yea, I’m looking for [spray] for my cattle.”

(I lead him to the aisle that has the items he is looking for.)

Me: “Is that it for you, sir?”

Customer #2: “Yes, thank you.”

Customer #1: *under her breath* “At least she found what HE was looking for!”

(I start to walk away again when I hear shouting from the same customer.)

Customer #1: “Hey, HEY YOU! MY HUSBAND HAS A QUESTION!”

(I go and help Customer #2, with Customer #1 making very rude comments about my service to her. Finally, I turn and face her.)

Me: “Ma’am, I would love to help you order that part you are looking for; however, I will have to wait until you are not negatively commenting every move I make. I am very sorry we did not have the part you wanted in the store, but I offered you another option which you clearly stated was not in your interest. If you change your mind, I will be down aisle four. Have a nice day.”

(I start walking away now, being the husband is done.)

Customer #1: “Hey—”

Me: “My name is not ‘Hey,’ and I would like it very much if you referred to me properly, as I have with you. If you do have any more questions, I will be down aisle four.”

(I never did get a complaint.)

Taking Out The Trashy Customers

| NY, USA | Bizarre

(My coworker and I are working a local business’s outdoor party. We’re both tiny college girls, barely over 5’2″. Our job is to walk discreetly through the grounds, sweeping, emptying garbage cans, cleaning bathrooms, and keeping things looking nice. My shift started a couple hours later than hers.)

Coworker: *runs up and hugs me* “I’m so glad you’re here! Some guy has been following me around and giving me this… look.”

Me: “Look?”

Coworker: “There he is!”

(A rather creepy-looking man in his mid-thirties passes us. As he walks by, his eyes slowly travel all the way down my co-worker’s body, then back up just as slowly. A smile that is not at all friendly spreads across his face.)

Me: “Oh.”

Coworker: “I know we’re supposed to split up, but can we please work together tonight?”

(We work as a pair, and I don’t see him again for the rest of the event. After everyone leaves, I begin sweeping and she starts cleaning tables. A few minutes later, I glance over and see the man has magically reappeared and cornered her against a table. She’s frantically trying to catch my eye over his shoulder. I do the first thing I can think of.)

Me: *rushes over, waving my dustpan and shouting in as deep a voice as I can muster* “HEEEEEY, [COWORKER]! LOOK AT ALL THIS GARBAGE! I SURE NEED A GARBAGE CAAAAAAAAN!”

(The man jumped in surprise, realized there are still other people around, and hastily left. I’m so glad it worked, but man, I really wish I’d thought up something far more intimidating and heroic to yell!)

Sandwiched Between The Bad Days

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(A customer has picked something up to go (that my coworker prepared) all the while complaining. Apparently she had ordered food from another diner by accident and was angry when we didn’t have her food ready for her. My coworker quickly took her order and got her the food. 10 minutes later the phone rings and I am closest to the front.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

(My voice is very bubbly. In a fake bubbly voice the customer starts yelling.)

Customer: “Well, hi, [My Name]! This is the customer who wanted a pastrami melt but who got a patty melt!”

Me: “I am so sorry, ma’am. If you would like to come back I can give you refund?”

Customer: “Oh, sure! Because I just love driving all over town! My husband and I are coming in and sitting down to eat!”

(She hangs up. When she comes in, I decide to put her in my section so my coworker doesn’t have to deal with her anger. She immediately starts yelling and answers everything I say sarcastically while her husband watches on. I go to get her drinks and when I come back she looks embarrassed.)

Customer: “I would like to apologize. My husband asked me if you were the one that had helped me before and when I said no he asked ‘well, what are you yelling at the girl for?’ I’m sorry.”

(I was shocked. I told her not to worry, got her food out, was very attentive, and they left an excellent tip. I guess it goes to show that we all have bad days.)

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