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Got Everything Wrong

, | USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

Customer: “I want three tacos with everything.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What did you mean by ‘everything’?”

Customer: “You know, everything.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t know what you mean. We have a lot of different ingredients that we can put on your tacos. Which ones would you like?”

Customer: *getting agitated* “You know, everything!”

Me: “We have ‘supreme’ tacos which come with sour cream, lettuce, cheese and tomatoes. Would you like three Supreme Tacos?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s it! With onions and everything!”

Me: “So, three Supreme Tacos with onions and what else would you like on them?”

Customer: “You know, everything!”

Me: *reading off our list of ingredients in order* “So you want three tacos with beef, chicken, steak, red sauce, chili, beans…”

Customer: *interrupts* “No, no, no! I didn’t say I wanted all that! I didn’t say to get all ludicrous about it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m just trying to figure out what you want on your tacos.”

Customer: “Everything!” *she then leaves the drive-thru without saying another word*

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Acting Cold Caller

| UK | Bad Behavior, Money, Popular, Time

(I know that cold calling isn’t anyone’s favourite thing, but it’s my job and I need to pay rent. It isn’t a scam company, but a call centre for a gas and electric company; we dial people who have opted into marketing; they always deny it, but they’ve clearly forgotten or misread the marketing. My current customer seems a little too eager to do the quote. He takes the time to get his current info about his supplier and his energy usage and so on.)

Me: “So, just a few more minutes of your time and I’ll get that set up for you now.”

Him: “No.”

Me: *continues with the spiel of why it’s a better deal* “…so, why would you not want to go for it?”

Him: “Because I don’t want to go for deals offered by people who phone me up when I didn’t ask for it.”

Me: “Then why did you even do the quote?”

Him: *smugly as he possibly can* “Well, you’re wasting my time so I figured I’d waste yours as well.”

Me: “I’m paid an hourly rate, sir; I just technically made £3.50 in the half an hour we spent on this call.”

(The guy stammered and hung up. I honestly get why people hate cold calling, and in all fairness, so do I, but some people I call are just so badly-behaved and I love these tiny victories I can get over them.)

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Carded And Drafted

| Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I have just had a man get very angry with me because I wouldn’t let his kid or grandkid get on the computers.)

Guy: “This kid has his library card number memorized. Why can’t he get on the computers?”

Me: “He has to have his actual library card with him in order to get on the computers.”

Guy: “He can’t just tell you his card number and get on one?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. He has to have his actual card with him.”

Guy: *glares and moves closer to me* “Why?”

Me: “It’s one of our library branch’s rules.”

Guy: “You have got to be kidding me.”

Me: “I’m 100% serious. I have to have a physical card in order to scan it into the computer to make a reservation.”

Guy: *leans over the table and puts his finger in my face* “Well, whoever made up that rule should’ve been drafted in Vietnam like I was!”

(He then walked away muttering about how that was “bullshit” and leaving me absolutely speechless, mouth hanging open.)

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A Well-Red Book

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Popular, Tourists/Travel

Caller: “Hello, yes, I had a book on hold there. I came to pick it up this morning and it was taking too long for the guy to help other people so I left!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about the wait; we only have one person in the store this week due to our owners getting married last weekend.”

Caller: “I’m not done! So I came back and parked in the red zone at the corner, picked up my book and when I got back, I had a $115 ticket!”

Me: “Well, I’m very sorry to hear that, but I don’t know what I can do for you about that.”

Caller: “My point is that it took longer to get service in your store than for her to give me a ticket!”

Me: “You parked in a red zone. It doesn’t matter how long you were there for; it’s still illegal.”

Caller: “You should put a sign in front of your store saying that if you park in the red zone while shopping there you’ll get a ticket!”

Me: “Isn’t that what the red paint is for?”

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Those Are Some Pretty Long Pipes

| Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography, Popular

(There is a plumbing company in Maryland that shares the same company name as the one I work for in Scottsdale, Arizona. Due to the same name we occasionally get calls for them. I receive one such call from an restaurant in Westminster, MD.)

Her: “Hello. I work for [Restaurant] in Westminster, and we need a plumber.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are in Scottsdale, Arizona. Not Maryland. We are about 2000 miles away from you.”

Her: “So, can you come out this afternoon?”

Me: “I’m sorry; We are 2000 miles away in Arizona. You have the wrong Apple plumbing.”

Her: “Wait, so, you guys can’t help us?”

Me: “Not unless you wish to pay a huge gas bill for us to drive out there and back…”

Her: “So, I guess you can’t be here this afternoon?”

Me: *sighing heavily* “No, not really…”

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