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I Rest My Chase

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre

(I am at work when a man with matted grey hair and a biker jacket walks in. I am upstairs working so my coworker approaches the man. I can hear their conversation from my office.)

Coworker: “Hello, sir. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I wanna talk to [Coworker who isn’t working that day].”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but he isn’t in today. What were you chasing?”

Customer: “Chasing? I wasn’t chasing anything!”

Coworker: “What were you after, sir?”

Customer: “I’m not chasing anyone!”

(This continued for a while until the man eventually leaves, but not before saying “How rude” to my coworker. I walk downstairs and approach my coworker.)

Coworker: “Wonder what he wanted from [Coworker who isn’t working that day].”

Me: *jokingly* “Maybe he’s a convicted stalker and got scared when you said chasing.”

(I looked out the window to watch the man leave, expecting him to hop onto a Harley or something similar, but to my surprise the man got on to a push bike and rode it down the footpath. I swear, we get all the crazy ones.)

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Third Floor Time Lucky

| China | Language & Words

(I work at the information desk on the second floor of a museum of paleontology. It should be noted that while I am a foreigner, I speak decent Chinese and have been told that I speak very clearly.)

Visitor: “Hello! Is there anything on the third floor?”

Me: “The third floor is mammals.”

Visitor: “But is there anything on the third floor?”

Me: “Yes, it has mammals.”

Visitor: “But does the third floor have anything?”

Me: “Yes.”

Visitor: “Okay!” *walks upstairs*

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The Great Search

, | USA | Funny Names, Home Improvement

(My friend needs expanding foam, which commonly is under the brand name “Great Stuff.” My friend, however, misunderstands and thinks everyone is just saying how great it is. After seemingly fruitless search for the brand name, he eventually goes to a hardware store to find it:)

Friend: *to employee* “I’m looking for expanding foam.”

Employee: “Oh, yeah, Great Stuff!”

Friend: *yelling* “I ALREADY KNOW IT’S HOW GREAT IT IS! I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT’S CALLED!”

Employee: “No, no, no. It’s actually called ‘Great Stuff.’”

Friend: “Oh…”

(For the record, it really is great stuff.)

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Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 6

| WA, USA | Health & Body, Religion

(I am an RN that goes around to people’s homes. I get an order to obtain a blood draw from a particularly religious patient who refuses to let me try anywhere except the tiny blood vessels in her hand. As I’m on my second attempt, apparently she thinks I need a little help…)

Patient: *loudly, with eyes closed* “Lord Jesus, help her find that blood! Send the blood to her Jesus; she needs your help! Draw her to that vein, oh Lord, and show your power!”

Me: *as I finally hit a vein* “Got it!”

Patient: “Thank you!”

Me: “You’re welcome!”

Patient: “Not you.”

Me: “A little bit me…”

Related:
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 5
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3

Roundup: The Most Popular Stories Of The Week

Roundups
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Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (November 7th – November 13th 2016)!

See more roundups here! Don’t forget to check out this week’s comic!

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