Be Careful With Those RED Sox

| Post Falls, ID, USA | Right | May 18, 2017

(I work at a very popular retail store as a cashier. I live close to Washington, so my area has a lot of Seahawks fans. One day an older gentleman comes in with some merchandise and I’m checking him out when…)

Me: “You must be a big fan of the Seahawks, huh?”

Customer: “Yes, I like them a lot. What’s your favorite football team?”

Me: “I don’t really like football. I’m not much of a sports person.”

Customer: “Well, how are you going to get a man if you don’t like football?!”

Me: “I have a man already, actually, so I don’t need to go get one.”

Customer: “Well, he better train you right and have you watch football with him! I’m surprised he even wants you!”

Me: “He doesn’t like football either, sir, so it doesn’t matter.”

Customer: “What kind of people don’t like football?! Do you know what you two are?!”

Me: “What are we, sir?”

Customer: “You guys are communists!”

(The customer walked away glaring at me. He’s come back to our store multiple times since then, but takes care to avoid me.)

Not Even Fractionally Getting It

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Right | May 18, 2017

Me: “Ma’am, you’re still about a dollar short of your total.”

Customer: “No, I gave you a dollar coin.”

(I hold up a quarter that for whatever reason came out gold-colored.)

Me: “Oh, no, this is just an oddly-colored quarter, ma’am. See?”

Customer: “No, it says ‘quarter-dollar’ right there!”

(I just stare at her and blink. I hear customers behind her snickering. I resolve that this just isn’t worth it.)

Me: “Yeah, okay, whatever. Here’s your receipt. Have a nice day.”

Going To Great Lengths

| Denver, CO, USA | Right | May 18, 2017

(In this business you get two choices on how big you want your sub to be. There is a foot long and the smaller six-inch version.)

Me: “Hello.”

Cashier: “Hello, what kind of sub would you like?”

Me: “Italian bread, six inch foot-long.”

(The cashier stares at me with a confused look.)

Me: “An Italian bread, six-inch foot-long.”

Cashier: “Uh…”

(I am start to try to figure out what’s wrong to no avail. About one minute of awkward staring has gone by when the cashier speaks up.)

Cashier: “There are foot-longs and then there are six inch. It’s impossible to do both.”

Me: “Wait, what…”

(My brain finally starts working again.)

Me: “Sorry, I want a foot-long.”

Loathe Of Bread

| Right | May 18, 2017

Check Yourself Before You Self-Checkout

| Peterborough, ON, Canada | Right | May 17, 2017

(I’m at a well-known Canadian hardware/automotive store, in line to use one of the self checkout machines. I watch another customer get through his purchase without a hitch until he goes to pay.)

Machine: “Please select payment method.”

Customer: *presses button*

Machine: “Please use the pin-pad on the right.”

(The main screen shows a large arrow pointing to the right, along with a picture of the pinpad.)

Customer: *tries to jam card into the coin slot*

Customer: *tries to jam card into bill slot*

Customer: *shoves card into receipt slot*

Customer: *tries to scan card*

(He eventually cancelled the entire purchase and went to a regular cashier.)

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