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Give Him A Dollar Thrill

| TX, USA | Money, Rude & Risque

(I am scanning up the order of a customer, who is rather elderly, and we are at the end when this happens:)

Customer: “For that $100 cash back, I don’t want a $100 bill.”

Me: *jokingly* “Okay, I’ll give you 100 ones.”

Customer: “Oh, no! That’s even worse. A man like me doesn’t need THAT much money. I’m too old to go to the strip clubs!”

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Obama Drama, Part 2

| USA | Extra Stupid, Politics

(It’s the day before taxes are due and a few last minute customers are mailing out their returns. Customer #1 is addressing his envelope while Customer #2 is filling out a money order for a payment.)

Customer #1: “I really got hit this year!”

Customer #2: *murmurs sympathetically*

Customer #1: “But I guess I’m just stuck paying like this until we get a Republican governor again.”

Customer #2: *glances at him* “Yeah…?”

(There’s a slight pause as Customer #1 thinks.)

Customer #1: “We’ve got a Republican governor right now, don’t we?”

Customer #2: “Yup!”

(The Republican governor had already been in office three years; he was preceded by another Republican.)

Related:
Obama Drama

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Can’t Ketchup With The Explanation

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(At our store, everything costs one dollar unless specifically marked otherwise. When items are slightly damaged, half-open, missing pieces, or otherwise not perfect but can still be sold, we tag them with an orange sticker and put them in a cart with other half-off items. A manager has to do the price adjustment when a customer comes to the register. I’m working the register.)

Customer: “Just these today, please. I found this ketchup in the half-off cart.”

(I examine the ketchup and it does have an orange sticker as well as a manager’s initials, but there is no damage whatsoever.)

Me: “You found this in the half-off cart?”

Customer: “Yes, so it’s only fifty cents?”

Me: “I’m sorry; I think there was a mistake. There’s no reason this should be half off.”

Customer: “Oh, well, when it was in the cart the cap was broken. But there were a lot of other ketchups so I just switched it out.”

Me: “So the broken lid is on another ketchup bottle?”

Customer: “It’s not a problem, is it? There were a lot of other ketchup bottles.”

Me: “If it’s not damaged, I can’t give you half off.”

Customer: “But there are other ketchup bottles. Why can’t I just replace the cap?”

Me: “Because then we still have the damaged one in our stock. The damaged cap is why it’s fifty cents. If it isn’t damaged, it’s full price.”

Customer: “But there are plenty of other ketchups for me to switch the cap with!”

(I realized I didn’t have my thoughts together enough to explain this better, so I called my manager over to help while I continued to check out other customers. I don’t know what exactly was said between them, but she did end up paying full price for her ketchup and never did completely understand why.)