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Must Have Been Some Mutant Chicken

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a popular fire grilled chicken store as a cook. We have a 16-piece leg and thigh meal which has 8 legs and 8 thighs.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Store]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Hi, can I have the 16 piece leg and thigh meal?”

Me: “Absolutely! Your total comes out to [amount].”

Customer: “Thank you. Do these legs all come from the same chicken?”

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Doesn’t Even Read In Their Sleep

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer calls me over to the self-serve area.)

Customer: “Excuse me!? Doesn’t this thing work?”

Me: “Yes, of course it does.”

Customer: “Well the screen’s black and I’m pressing start and nothing’s happening.”

Me: “Did you press the ‘on’ button?”

Customer: “No. It should already be on! It’s not my job to turn it on!”

Me: “It is on; the copiers just go into sleep mode after a little while. The ‘on’ button wakes them up.”

(I point to the GIANT sign on the front of the copier that explains this while I talk to her.)

Customer: “Oh, are you kidding me? I don’t read things.”

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She’s The Carrier

| UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(In the UK we have implemented a 5p charge on carrier bags; this is to help reduce the number of carrier bags going into landfills. Our store had implemented this well before the other stores. If a customer came in for one item that was easy to carry or put in pocket/handbag no carrier bag was offered, yet if they had sufficient items you would offer a carrier bag but explain it would cost them 5p. A very posh looking woman enters the store, walks up the sweets aisle, picks up a small chocolate bar and come over to my till.)

Me: “Hello, did you find everything you needed today?”

Customer: *said in a posh voice but also very belittling* “Yes, that will be all.”

Me: “Okay, that is [price], please.”

Customer: “Give me a carrier bag.”

Me: “Okay, but carrier bags are 5p now, what with our store’s initiatives to—”

Customer: *cuts me off* “I AM NOT PAYING FOR A CARRIER BAG!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it just company policy—”

Customer: “I WILL NOT PAY FOR A CARRIER BAG! I HAVE ASKED YOU FOR ONE AND I WOULD LIKE A CARRIER BAG SUITABLE FOR MY PURCHASE!”

(A queue has built up now and I am beginning to lose my temper. Suddenly an idea pops in my head.)

Me: “One moment, please.”

(I walk out of my till, and walk over to the fruit and veg section nearby, pick up a small plastic bag that would used to place small amounts of loose fruit or veg in. Walk back to till and place chocolate bar inside bag and hand it to customer.)

Me: “There we go. So, that was [price], please.”

Customer: “WHAT IS THAT?”

Me: “Well, it is a carrier bag suitable for the small nature of your product and will not cost you a penny extra on your [price], please.”

(The queue of people are making comments about how silly she has been, asking for a carrier bag for a chocolate bar and refusing to pay for a one.)

Customer: “I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

(The manager is called down, and the story was told from both sides with other customers backing me up as she was accusing me of yelling and swearing. The customer was basically told the same thing that I was trying to say about carrier bags. She admitted defeat but told my manager she wanted this logged as an official complaint against me. Manager pulled me to one side saying by company policy they are meant to give me a verbal warning but that they found it so funny that no such action would take place.)

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Monstrous Pronunciation

, | FL, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

Customer: “And can I have a pound of the monster cheese?”

Me: “Excuse me? What kind of cheese?”

Customer: “The monster cheese. This one.”

Me: “Oh, you mean the muenster.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, but, well, you know, I don’t know how to pronounce that. It’s too hard. Is it ‘manster’? ‘Minster’?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s ‘muenster.’”

Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t know how to pronounce it. Is it ‘mo-an-ster’? ‘Moon-ster’?”

Me: “Ma’am, I just told you how to pronounce it. It’s ‘muenster.’”

Customer: “Yeah, but it’s too hard to pronounce! Is it ‘mon-aster’? Is it ‘minister’?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s ‘muenster.’”

Customer: “Well, however you say it, I want a pound.”

Roundup: The Most Popular Stories Of The Week

Roundups
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Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (January 2nd – January 8th 2017)!

See more roundups here! Don’t forget to check out this week’s comic!

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