(I am working at the jewelry counter helping two customers who are looking at diamond earrings. They want nice quality pieces; however, they are horribly stingy and don’t want to pay big money to get nice pieces. All of our jewelry is 60% off but, considering how cheap they are, I grab a pair of diamond earrings out of our discontinued stock which is 80% off.)

Me: “As you can see, these are one-carat diamond studs and because they are discontinued, they might be able to fit your price range better.”

Customer: “Excellent, I will take this pair—” *motions to ones that are 60% off* “—for this price.” *taps the discontinued ones*

Me: “Sir, that’s not how this works. These are on a better sale because they have been discontinued and the company has stopped making them. I cannot adjust the price on these ones because they are still in production.”

Customer: “Call a manager over. I don’t know why you aren’t understanding what I want to happen.”

(I call a manager over and I explain the situation.)

Manager: “Sir, she’s clearly explained that she cannot mark down the price on this pair because they are still in production. If you want to get your price down cheaper, I suggest opening a store card which will save you another percentage.”

Customer: “I already have one and I have this coupon, too, for my card.”

(He shows the manager a coupon on his phone.)

Manager: “And that is a fraudulent coupon which we will not honor in this store. I suggest you either buy the earrings for the price offered or leave.”

(He ends up buying the pair and stays silent the rest of the transaction. Later, my manager comes back.)

Manager: “Those guys were shysters. I also love how they insisted on having me come over and then showing me something that they probably could have gotten away with if I hadn’t shown up.”

(I am the owner of a South Indian restaurant. One day, I decide to wear a piece of Indian men’s clothing that goes by many names across the major Indian languages, though the most common names for it in South India are Dhoti, Pancha, and Veshti. It looks somewhat like a skirt in that there are no pant legs. I am in the general area of the restaurant. One table has a family of non-Indians consisting of a man, a woman, and two small children.)

Male Customer: *to waiter* “Can I speak to a manager, please?”

(Hearing this, I come over to speak to the customer.)

Me: “I am the owner. What seems to be the problem?”

Male Customer: “The food was prepared a bit too spicy and our children cannot handle it. I want it to be remade. I am willing to pay for both if I need to.”

(The food cooked in this restaurant is Telugu cuisine, which is one of the spiciest cuisines in India, so it makes sense that people may have trouble with the spice levels. Even though they ordered a North Indian dish, the food was still cooked by our same Telugu chefs and still might be spicy to the tongue.)

Me: “Sure, that is fine. I won’t even make you pay for it twice.”

Female Customer: “Why are you wearing a skirt?”

Me: “This is a Pancha; it is the traditional men’s clothing of South India.”

Female Customer: “Are all Indians [gay slur]s, then?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Female Customer: “You know what? I refuse to go at a place owned by your kind from now on. Are you coming, [Male Customer]?”

Male Customer: “No. And don’t contact me or my family again, please. I thought you’d changed, but you obviously haven’t.”

(The female customer leaves $12 on the table to cover for her meal and storms off angrily.)

Male Customer: “Sorry about that. That’s my estranged sister whom I haven’t seen in years, but she wanted to see her niece and nephew.”

Me: “It’s not your fault at all. Since she barely touched her dosa, I think I’ll put it in a box and you can take it home. Sound good?”

Male Customer: “Yeah, that’s good.”

(I work as a cashier at a fast food restaurant in the middle of my city. These past few weeks, a carnival has been set up in the centre just across the street from the restaurant. Seeing as the carnival only takes small bills, this exchange will happen several times a day:)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, can you exchange this into small bills for me?” *holds up a fifty-euro bill*

Me: “Oh, no, sorry. I’m not allowed to make exchanges, and I don’t have enough bills in my till to make that exchange, anyway.”

Customer: *thinking he’s being clever* “Can I have one hamburger?” *cheapest item on our menu, €1.20*

Me: *sighing a bit because honestly, this isn’t clever and mostly annoying* “Sure, that’ll be €1.20, please.”

Customer: *pays with the fifty-euro bill he’s still holding, smirking*

(As a side note, there is a bank situated in the centre of the carnival that would definitely be able to do all the aforementioned without having to call for more cash every two minutes.)

Customer: “I’m checking to see if my order is in. I got an email a little while ago saying that it was put on hold, but I want to see if it’s here.”

Me: “You got an email saying it was on hold? Did it say why?”

Customer: “No, something about using a credit card, but I didn’t use a credit card.”

(She shows me her receipt which tells me that she ordered it at our online kiosk in the store.)

Me: “Okay, well, I’ll check to see if it’s here, but if they put it on hold, you would have had to do something like call them or something in order for it to go through.”

Customer: “It says there’s a problem with the credit card, but I used a debit card.”

Me: “It would have been a Visa debit or a Mastercard debit, which makes the online system think it’s a credit card. But I’ll check first to see if your order is here.”

(It’s not.)

Me: “Okay, it’s not here. Do you have the email they sent you?”

(The customer shows me on her phone.)

Me: “Okay, it says that they couldn’t authorize your card, and they needed you to call them to make sure the card is yours, or for you to go to your bank and make sure there are no issues with your card.”

Customer: “You’re not listening to me. It says credit card in the email and I didn’t use a credit card.”

Me: “You used a Mastercard debit, which makes online stores think it’s a credit card. We know it’s not a credit card, but when you use a credit-debit online, it tricks the computer into thinking it’s a credit card. That’s one of the reasons they’re a thing.”

Customer: “I didn’t do it online; I did it in store.”

Me: “Yes, at our kiosk, which is essentially our online store. So, you have to call the online number, or you have to go to your bank to see if there is a problem with your card that can be fixed. But it could just be that the billing address was typed in wrong, and they want to verify it. It happens sometimes.”

Customer: “So, you’re telling me there’s nothing you can do?”

Me: “You can go to your bank and make sure there isn’t a problem with your card, or you can call the online number, which I can give you, and ask them how to sort it out. Unfortunately, I can’t do anything for you at store level because it’s an issue with the online store.”

Customer: “Yeah, but it’s saying there is a problem with my credit card, and I didn’t use a credit card!”

Me: “I know. I told you it just thinks it’s a credit card because you used a Mastercard debit on the online kiosk. Our kiosk only takes Visa or Mastercard debit cards, because it only works on credit cards, and it thinks Mastercard and Visa debits are credit cards.”

Customer: “I didn’t use a credit card!”

Me: “I know. But there is still a problem with it, and they won’t ship your item until it’s sorted out.”

Customer: “Well, then, I want to buy one in store.”

Me: “We don’t carry this item in-store; that’s probably why the associate brought you to our kiosk in the first place.”

Customer: “So, you’re telling me there’s nothing you can do?”

Me: “As I said, you can go to your bank, or you can call the online number. It’s right here in your email.”

Customer: “But it says that if I don’t reply within two days, the order will be cancelled, and this was sent to me last week.”

Me: “Why didn’t you do anything about it last week?”

Customer: “I wanted to see if it would come in, anyway.”

Me: “You may have to call online and have them place the order again.”

Customer: “So, there’s nothing you can do?”

Me: “I already gave you all your options.”

Customer: “THIS IS TERRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE! I’M NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN!”

(I work as a cashier at a drugstore. When I was hired, I told them I start to pass out if I stand still too long and they said they’d put me in the makeup section where I’d be moving around a lot. Unfortunately, I am good with customers, and I get put on the front register every single shift. The line today is long, and nobody comes up when I ask for a second cashier.)

Me: “Sorry the line is going slow. If anybody doesn’t want to wait, they can also check you out in cosmetics.”

(A few customers peel off, which is a relief. I’m overwhelmed and starting to get faint, and stress makes it worse. About five minutes later, one comes back to my line.)

Customer #1: “You said it was faster, but I’ve been waiting this whole time.”

Me: “I’m so sorry. I didn’t see she was doing a return. I’ll help you right away.”

Customer #1: “You should have checked.”

Me: “Yes. I made a mistake. I’m very sorry.”

(We finish going through the order, but I’m starting to pass out and can’t see or think clearly.)

Me: “Here’s your change. It’s ten… Sorry, ten… It’s…”

Customer #1: “You need to learn how to do your job.”

(He walks out in a huff.)

Customer #2: “Miss, are you all right? You don’t look well.”

(I pass out and smack my head on the way down. I have a concussion and have to be taken home by a coworker. A month later, the same customer walks in.)

Customer #1: “So have you learned how to do your job yet?”