It’s Not Raining Rain-Checks

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2018

(Chicken leg quarters are a flyer special this week for 99 cents a pound. We have just opened Monday morning, following a busy weekend, and we ran out of the quarters on Sunday. The store is family-owned, and for whatever reason they don’t offer rain-checks.)

Customer: “Where are the chicken legs for 99 cents?”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but we’re sold out. There should be more in later today, but we don’t know when the truck will get here.”

Customer: “What?! It’s Monday morning! How can you not have it in stock on Monday morning?! That’s when everyone does their shopping!”

(I look around at the empty store and wonder what planet she’s from.)

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but it does happen, unfortunately. Hopefully it won’t be too long before it arrives, but I don’t know for sure.”

(The woman continues to loudly complain to her friend and to me about how I personally should be ashamed of the fact that we ran out of the featured item. This goes on for several minutes. I continue to try to be sympathetic, but it’s getting difficult.)

Me: “It is disappointing, and I apologize for the inconvenience—”

Customer: “Never mind that; give me a rain-check.”

Me: *deep breath, because I know what’s coming* “I’m so sorry, but the store doesn’t give rain-checks.”

Customer:What?! What do you mean?! You have to! You give me a rain-check right now!”

Me: “I don’t have any rain-checks to give you.”

Customer: “Well, get some!”

Me: “Look, ma’am: it’s not in my power to do that. The store doesn’t give rain-checks.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

(I have actually asked this, and the only answer I ever got was, “Because Mr. [Owner] doesn’t want to.”)

Me: “I don’t know; it’s their business decision. You could try asking at the customer service desk.”

Customer: *preparing to storm off* “I will!”

(I’m breathing a sigh of relief, as I now think she’s somebody else’s problem, but she stops before leaving, and turns back to me.)

Customer: “How much will I be able to get on the rain-check they give me?”

Me: *groans internally* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they’re not going to give you a rain-check.”

Customer: “WHAT?! You have to give it to me! IT’S MY RIGHT!”

(I wonder where the right to rain-checks appears in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, while the woman berates me at length. I offer to get the manager, but she ignores me. Finally…)

Me: “You are arguing with someone who has absolutely no authority. You can keep yelling at me if it makes you feel better, but it isn’t going to change anything.”

(This finally shuts her up.)

Me: “If you would like to make a complaint about store policy, or about me, the place to do it is at the customer service desk.”

(She walked away, complaining bitterly to her friend the whole time. I heard later that she kicked up a huge fuss at customer service, who called the meat manager over to talk to her. I really wish I could have been there to see that, because he is notorious for being snippy with customers. At any rate, she left without a rain-check, and I never heard a word of complaint from my boss.)

I Can’t Believe They Can’t Believe

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2018

(I am a clerk stocking in the dairy department of a grocery store. I notice a customer has been staring at the butter section for at least ten minutes. I approach him to offer assistance.)

Me: “Do you need help with anything?”

Customer: *holds up a tub of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter,” completely serious* “Yeah… Is this butter?”

Me: “Nope, it sure isn’t.”

Ice Breaker

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2018

(It’s a hot Saturday, so a lot of people are coming in to buy barbecue supplies. The manager is counting up the cash, and is therefore locked in the office. I’ve been putting out crisps on the shop floor for half an hour when a customer grabs my attention.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you have any more bags of ice?”

Me: “I can get some from the back for you!”

(I head into the back to check, and I see my coworker as I open the freezer.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], have you seen where the ice is?”

Coworker: “There isn’t any. Someone came by and bought two boxes of it. We’re out until the next delivery, which is two days away.”

(I go back to the shop floor and find the customer, who’s now browsing the drinks with her friends. I’m feeling a bit apprehensive, since I said I’d be able to find some.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but we seem to be out of ice. Apparently, someone bought it all up earlier.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s okay; that was me!”

(Why she thought we’d have more ice on the same day is anyone’s guess.)

Not Quite His Style(us)

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2018

(I’m a cashier and I’ve just started an eight-hour shift. The customer slides his card and hits “credit.” He approves the amount, and I type in the last four numbers on his card. When it comes to his signature he can’t get it to write. Our pads are picky, and if you put the stylus down too close to either the top or bottom lines of the box, it won’t write anything.)

Customer: “It’s not writing.”

Me: “Sorry, sir. You have to put the pen down in the middle of the box.”

Customer: “I don’t have a pin; this is credit.”

Me: “You have to put the pen on the box.”

(The customer then lays the stylus sideways on the signature box.)

Me: “Sir, you have to put the tip of the pen, that you write with, in the middle of the box, so that it’ll write.”

(Finally the customer understood and signed his name. Through this, one of my managers was standing behind me, trying not to laugh.)

Grains For Brains

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2018

(An older lady comes into my shop, goes straight to a small bag of grains, and buys it. No questions asked, no small-talk made. She does this every week for a few weeks, until…)

Customer: “This wild bird seed is useless! The birds don’t eat it, and now it’s starting to grow in my garden!”

Me: “Sorry, miss, but that isn’t bird seed. That’s actually a bag of mixed grains.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know?”

Me: “It is under that sign that says, ‘Mixed Grains.'”

Customer: “Well, you should have known what I wanted, anyway!”

(At this point, the customer storms out of the shop. I turn to my boss and coworker.)

Me: “Did I just get shouted at for lacking telepathy?”

Coworker: “Yeah, you did. She needs help, doesn’t she?”

Boss: “Don’t mind her. She’s always doing s*** like that.”

(I don’t know how I could be responsible for this, but the customer seemed to think so!)

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