A Cents-Ible Assumption

, , , , | Right | August 12, 2017

(After touring a famous museum in Greece my friends and I decide to order something from the museum café. The woman in front of us is purchasing one water bottle.)

Employee: “That will be 50c.”

Woman: “Let me find you a quarter.”

Employee: “Ma’am, a fifty cent coin will do.”

Woman: “I don’t have any quarters.”

(She spills all of her coins onto the counter. She has a few fifty cent coins.)

Me: “Madam, this will do.”

(Points out a fifty cent coin.)

Woman: “So I need fifty of these?”

Me: “No, you pay with that.”

(The woman then picks up a one euro coin.)

Woman: “Can I buy a bottle with this.”

Employee: “You can buy two water bottles with that.”

Woman: “Oh, okay.”

(She hands him the one euro coin and he goes to the fridge to get her water.)

Woman: *to me* “A one dollar coin. Who thought of that?”

Me: “Most countries have one dollar coins.”

Woman: “Oh.”

(She took her water and left.)

Money Makes The Moans Go Round

, , , , | Right | August 12, 2017

(I was just clocking into work, and since I am a traveling teller, meaning I go to different locations every day, I have to wait for the manager of the specific branch to give me a drawer.)

Customer: “Excuse me? What are you doing?”

(I continue starting up my computer, assuming she isn’t speaking to me as I still have my ‘next window’ sign up.)

Customer: *to others in line* “Look at that dumb b****, sitting around doing nothing but play with her hair when there’s a line out of the door!”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? I am not yet up and ready; my shift has just started. I’m sure another teller will be with you in just one moment. Your patience is appreciated.”

Customer: *rolls eyes*

(After a few moments, she finally reaches another teller, and the following conversation happens after her transaction is completed.)

Customer: “Why would you even hire such a lazy, incompetent girl?”

Coworker: “She actually doesn’t have a drawer yet, so she has no cash to work with.”

Customer: “If I wanted to hear excuses, I would have talked to her. Next time I’m in here, she better be fired! I will be reporting her to management. She should have brought her own cash in if you guys were busy.”

Coworker: “Ma’am? You wanted her to bring thousands of dollars of her own money so you wouldn’t have to wait a few moments on Friday afternoon at a very busy bank?”

Customer: “Yes! That would have been the right thing to do.”

(I was yelled at the first two minutes of my shift. I decided this had to be some sort of record, and we all had a good laugh about it in the end. Joke’s on you, lady. You didn’t ruin my day; you just made me laugh! Plus, she didn’t even get my name so she could report me.)

That’s Still More Than Trump Gives Back

, , , , | Right | August 11, 2017

(I work at a popular restaurant in Las Vegas. We get a diverse group of people from different cultural and political backgrounds. This particular day is like any other, until this exchange occurs:)

Customer: *wearing a ‘Make America Great Again’ hat* “I’m only going to give you a 10% tip because you didn’t do a great job.”

Me: “I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?”

Customer: “Oh, no, no, not at all. You were fine; you just weren’t great. Have a nice day!”

Me: “All right, we’ll see you next time.” *quietly, to myself* “Next time I’ll make table-side service great again…”

The Shopping Dead

, , , | Right | August 11, 2017

(I am a fitting room attendant at a big box store. A customer comes in to try on some clothes. The customer is putting the items back into her cart when a coworker comes along. The customer’s back is to us. Coworker accidentally bumps into her.)

Coworker: “I’m so sorry.”

(The customer doesn’t respond.)

Coworker: “How are you doing today? Are you finding everything okay?”

(The customer doesn’t respond. A few minutes after that customer has left:)

Coworker: “She was rude.”

Me: “I think she was deaf.”

Coworker: “Oh.”

American Sniping Comments

, , , , , | Right | August 11, 2017

(It is opening night of “American Sniper” and we we’re playing it in our biggest theater as well as some other smaller theaters to offer more showtimes. We had our 7:45 show sell out at 7:00 pm so we quickly canceled other movies to be able to add showtimes at 8:10 pm and 8:30 pm. A guest arrives at 8:00 pm expecting to still have seats available for the 7:45 pm.)

Guest: “Is there a reason you are only playing this movie in tiny theaters?”

Coworker: “Well, sir, we are also playing it in larger theaters but to make room for more people we had to put it in smaller theaters.”

Guest: “This is ridiculous. It’s up for an Academy.”

Coworker: “Sir, I would be happy to switch you to a later showtime in a bigger theater.”

Guest: “I want to see it now in a big theater.”

(He continues to complain for a while before deciding not to see it at all.)

Other Guest: “I am so sorry people are a**-holes. Thank you for adding showtimes. We really appreciate how much you do for your guests!”

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