Membership Is Totes Pricey

, , , | Right | April 19, 2018

(Some cities in one Canadian province charge $5 for library memberships. My city, in a different province, does not charge. Nonetheless, we get a written complaint:)

Complaint: “In [City], where I used to live, they give you a free tote bag when you join the library. I was disappointed not to get a free bag with my purchase of a library membership.”

(That tote bag is worth $1, so they just complained about saving $4.)

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 16

, , | Right | April 18, 2018

(I am a 22-year-old female working in a movie rental shop in 2007. We have a large adult movie section with a separate entrance. The counter has a service bell.)

Service Bell: *ring*

Me: “Hi, what can we do for you today?”

Greasy Old Man #1: “I am looking for porn, with young, submissive women who look as if they are put under pressure to act in the movies.”

Me: “Um…”

Greasy Old Man #1: “What can you recommend?”

Me: “I don’t know; I haven’t watched the movies. Go look for yourself.”

Greasy Old Man #1: *wanders off in the section to browse*

(Later, the service bell rings again.)

Me: “Hi, what can we do for you today?”

Greasy Old Man #2: *slightly embarrassed* “Yeah, umm, I am looking for adult movies. Can you show me where they are?”

Me: “Sure thing. Just right around the corner.”

Greasy Old Man #2: “Okay, thanks.”

(The customer comes back after a few minutes and we go through the whole renting process, scanning his card, scanning the movie, etc.)

Greasy Old Man #2: “So, where are your video cabins?”

Me: *dumbfounded*

Greasy Old Man #2: “I want to watch it now. Oh, wait; you are not a porn cinema?”

Me: “No.”

(I gave him directions to a specific area in the city, where he would find everything he wanted.)

Related:
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 15
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 14
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 13

Easy To Counter This Counter Case

, , , , , , | Right | April 18, 2018

(I come into work to find this email from a customer:)

Email: “I left my iPad in a blue case at your store. I WANT IT BACK. I brought it in to see if you could help with it and forgot it on the counter. Why wouldn’t you have called to tell me I left it there? Or texted me. Now I have to wait in agony until 7:30 so I can call you. Call me earlier if you can. It better still be there!”

Oreover And Over And Over

, , | Right | April 18, 2018

(I work stocking at a grocery store.)

Customer: “Where are those new Oreos?”

Me: “The Winter Oreos or the White Fudge?”

Customer: “Not those…The round ones with cream filling.”

Me: “Sir, all of our Oreos are round with cream filling.”

Customer: “Not those… The oblong kind with cream in the middle.”

Me: “We don’t have those, sir.”

Customer: “But I saw them on TV!”

Me: “Sorry, sir. We don’t have those yet.”

Customer: “But they were on TV!”

Me: *sigh* “Well, sir. We don’t have them in our warehouse yet.”

Customer: “But I saw them on TV!”

Doesn’t Have The Power(ball) To Change

, , , , | Right | April 18, 2018

(I’m working the lottery counter at customer service. A customer comes up with a Powerball slip and when my lotto rejects it, I realize it’s an old slip.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is an old Powerball slip. They changed the game, so you’ll need to fill out a new one.”

Customer: “New slip?”

Me: “Yeah, they didn’t say anything about changing the game, but the numbers are different. There are more up top and less down bottom.”

Customer: *stares at me with a slightly irritated expression*

Me: “We have new slips right over on the counter, so all you need to do is fill out a new one.”

(The customer steps back, stomps to the side, and tears his old Powerball slip it half, tossing it onto the floor and walking away.)

Me: “Or you could do that.”

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