An Amazing Comeback

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Right | May 20, 2017

(The head manager at the restaurant I work at is just a few months from retirement, and is simply done with working. This can be annoying, as we will frequently have to pick up the slack for him, but it has led to a few funny moments like this one.)

Customer: “I specifically ordered the salad without dressing, and just look at it! I swear, you better give me a refund, or I am never coming here again!”

Manager: “Mhhmm…”

Customer: *after a couple awkward moments of silence* “Well?”

Manager: “What’s your name, again?”

Customer: “[Customer]. Why?”

Manager: “I was just thinking we should probably put a sign out front, to remind you that you promised to never come here again. You seem to keep forgetting and showing up.”

(The customer went beet red and walked out, while his friends laughed and followed him. The next week, he apparently walked in again and spotted the head manager behind the counter, who gave him a wave. He was dead silent through his whole visit. No complaints.)

No Point Crying Over Expired Milk

| LA, USA | Right | May 20, 2017

(I work at a grocery store in the dairy/frozen foods department. On this particular day I am pulling & rotating dates. As I am discarding items a customer walks into the warehouse.)

Customer: “Can you sell me this expired milk after you mark it down?”

Me: “Ma’am, I cannot sell it as it is against state law to sell expired milk.”

Customer: “I don’t care! Take a dollar off and sell it to me!”

Me: “Ma’am, once again, I cannot sell expired milk to you. It is against state law. I’d be happy to get you a fresh quart from the cooler.”

Customer: “I want this d*** milk right now or I’ll call the state board of health on you!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you call them they will tell you the exact same thing I’m telling you.”

Customer: “Listen here, you little b******. I’m right; you’re wrong. You work in a damned grocery store. What the crap could you know about health?! In fact, I’m going to call them today! I hope you burn in hell for what you’re doing!”

(She proceeded to spill the milk all over the floor and left the warehouse, telling anyone who’d listen about our “rude employees.”)

Email Fail: The Golden Years

| AL, USA | Right | May 20, 2017

(I work at a call center and as such take inbound calls for customers and sometimes former customers with concerns about their services.)

Me: “Thank you for contacting [Company]. My name is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “My name is [Customer] and I’m a former customer. I moved to Florida and had to cancel my services because you don’t offer your services here!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry we are not in your area. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “I went online today and I can’t access my email!”

Me: “You can’t access your email?”

Customer: “Yes, I can’t access my email!”

Me: “Sir, you canceled services. You’re not going to be able to access them any longer.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “Because you canceled the services, sir.”

Customer: “No one told me that! I’ve have emails and items I need access too!”

Me: “I apologize, sir, but that is not possible since you canceled the services.”

Customer: “I’m 73 years old. Someone should have told me that I would not be able to use my email!”

Me: “Sir, you called and ask us to disconnect your services. You’ve also moved out of our service area. If you are no longer a customer and no longer paying for the services then of course you’re not going to have access to the services!”

Customer: *click*

Best You Sit Down For This One…

| NY, USA | Right | May 19, 2017

(A friend of mine sells tickets to popular theatre shows over the phone. She posts her not so great experiences on Facebook and this is one of the better ones.)

Me: “My best available tickets for that date are [X] and [Y].”

Customer: “What does that mean, best available?”

Me: “It means the most central seats closest to the stage. They are also the most expensive, though. Would you like me to look for cheaper tickets?”

Customer: “Wait, there are different prices? Why would I pay more than someone else when I’m just going to go early to pick my seat?”

Me: “Um, it doesn’t work like that. When you buy a ticket, you’re buying a specific seat. When you go to the show, you have to sit in that seat.”

Customer: “But I won’t know what seat I want until that day. How do you expect me to know what mood I’ll be in?”

Me: “I don’t, but I can walk you through ticket options if you’d like.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous.”

(I never have this problem at the movies.)

Me: “These are theatre tickets, not movie tickets.”

Customer: “Oh. What number is this?”

Be Thankful It’s Just For Today

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Right | May 19, 2017

(It is Thanksgiving Day and I am working with one other cashier. It is a very slow day. This exact conversation happens basically every time the phone rings.)

Me: *answers the phone* “Happy Thanksgiving! Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, is this [Store]?”

Me: “Yes, sir… It is.”

Customer: “Are you open today?”

Me: “Yes, sir, we are. Until four pm.”

Customer: “Great! Until when?”

Me: “Four pm, sir.”

Customer: “Awesome, thanks. What was your name?”

Me: *internal sigh*

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