icon_technology

That’s One For The Log

, | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a call center for a financial institution; I receive some pretty interesting phone calls. I’m paranoid about submitting too many and getting fired, but I thought this small one might be funny.)

Me: “Thank you for calling customer service. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: *says immediately without pulling up his account information* “I’m looking at my login ID screen.”

Me: *silence to make sure I don’t interrupt him, expecting to hear more about the problem* “Okay. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I can’t log in.”

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Cancelling The Cancellation

Chicago, IL, USA | Time

(This call takes place on a Saturday.)

Caller: “Do you have any availability this evening?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we’re fully booked. Could I check another date for you?”

Caller: “How about tomorrow?”

Me: “We’re closed Sundays and Mondays.”

Caller: “Oh, so there wouldn’t be any cancellations so I could come in tomorrow or Monday?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We’re closed Sundays and Mondays.”

icon_bizarresilly

It’s Going To Be One Of Those Bays

, | Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre

(It is the last call of the night. The customer is in California.)

Customer: “You sound like you are from the Bay Area.”

Me: “That is funny, seeing I am on the other side of the country in Florida.”

Customer: “Of course, you sound like you are from there.”

Me: “From Florida?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I don’t sound Spanish or country or like a snow bird.”

Customer: “No, but you sound middle-class.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “But it is my birthday; follow me on instagram.”

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 56

, | Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a bank. My caller does not understand why the $2500 cheque she deposited was returned, and now she owes the bank.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, the cheque was fraudulent, and there was nowhere to receive the funds so we had to withdraw the money from your account.”

Customer: “But why do I have to pay back if the cheque was a fake cheque?”

Me: “…because you spent all the money.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I did not know it was a fraudulent cheque.”

(This is BS, because she withdrew $2000 as soon as she deposited and then another $500 the next day.)

Me: “Yes, but you still spent the money, so you should go back to the person that gave you the cheque and ask him to give you a new one. Then you can simply deposit it again and you will be fine.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, I don’t know where to find him since he left the country, but I don’t think I should be paying this money back because it was not my fault.”

Me: “Ma’am… did you spend the money or did someone else?”

Customer: “I spent it.”

Me: “Then you have to pay it back.”

Customer: “F*** you.” *hangs up*

Related:

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 55

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 54

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 53

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Targeting The Wrong Worker

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests

(While I typically don’t, my sisters and mother-in-law like to go do the Black Friday sales after Thanksgiving every year and they’ve invited me to join them. Since I enjoy bonding with them, I decide to go. I am wearing a red t-shirt. We’re currently in K-mart, where the employees wear blue, and I’m looking at some sport-themed blankets when another customer comes to stand by me.)

Customer: “Hmmm…”

Me: *still looking*

Customer: *loudly clears throat*

Me: *glances at her before going back to looking*

Customer: “Excuse me, I need to find [Item].”

Me: “Oh… ma’am, I don’t work here.”

Customer: “But you’re wearing red…” *she finally gets a good look at my shirt, which has a ninja on the front*

Customer: “I’m not in Target any more, am I?”

Me: “No… No, you’re not.”

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