Parking Orders

| Oshawa, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(The customer orders 15 chicken sandwiches on an overnight shift at 3 am. Overnights are ridiculously understaffed, and there is a long line in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Sorry, we’re waiting on your food. If you could just park, I’ll run it out to you when it is ready.”

Customer: “No, I’ll wait here.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Last time I waited 20 minutes parked.”

(It is busy and I am frustrated at his idiocy.)

Me: “Well, it is three in the morning and you ordered a lot of food. I have the order for the next three customers, waiting behind you, all ready. You are being extremely ignorant and inconsiderate to those waiting behind you. I’d also like to bring to your attention that overnights are ridiculously understaffed. There is one person preparing food and just me and the first window girl in drive-thru. So, I’m sorry if you’ve waited long before, but I will try my best to not keep you waiting and get your order out much faster, but like I said, I am alone down here. If you would please pull up to a parking spot, I would appreciate it greatly. Thank you. Goodnight.”

(I close the window. The customer is stunned and pulls into the parking spot. Order is up in less than two minutes and I run it out to him.)

Me: “I am SO sorry for that ridiculously long wait. Enjoy your night.”

Unable To See Shades Of Grey

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I’ve been a digital designer for quite a while now and surprisingly have little to no issue with customers. This particular customer had been extremely pleasant up until I was finalizing their product.)

Me: “All right, so, here’s the finished product! As soon as payment is sent, I can—”

Customer: “No. No, no, no!”

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “The grey! The grey is way too grey! It was fine before. What did you do?!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you that between coloring the lines and now, I have not changed the colors.”

Customer: “You made the grey much too grey! Fix it!”

(I work for around 30 minutes using various saturation and colors to make it less “grey” for the customer. I eventually got frustrated and accidentally sent them the first image I had shown them on accident.)

Me: *realizing what I have done* “Oh, pardon me, sir, I think I sent you—”

Customer: “Yes! Perfect! This is what I wanted! Was that so hard?!”

Me: “Yes… Of course, sir.”

(He sent the payment and was perfectly happy with his “altered” product!)

The Computer Has A Lot Of Bugs

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Technology

(We take calls from people who’ve purchased protection plans..)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Team]! My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Yeah, uh, I got a message from y’all’s service center that said they can’t repair my [Console].”

Me: “Oh, gosh, sorry about that. Mind if I put you on hold for a quick minute or two? I’ll see what notes they’ve left on that.”

(I put the caller on hold and when I check his file, the service center first told us that it was “unsanitary” to repair. When I keep reading, I find out that the center refused to service the Console because of a cockroach infestation. I took an extra 30 seconds to compose myself and try to find a way to gently break this to the customer.)

Me: “Hi! Thanks for holding; sorry for the wait. Um, there’s no easy way to say this but, uh… the service center denied repairs because it was unsanitary.”

Customer: “What? What does that mean?”

Me: “They said that there was a… cockroach… infestation.”

(The customer stays silent for a little while. It’s important to note that the customer originally filed a claim because the Consoleq was overheating.)

Customer: “Well, uh… what, what if I cleaned it out? Can I send it back in then?”

Me: “Well, I’m not entirely sure we’d be able to accept that, but you can certainly try! Maybe that’ll even solve your heating issue.”

(Customer thanked me and hung up. A few weeks later, one of my coworkers got a call from the same guy. They had to forward the call to our supervisor, who then proceeded to tell him that unless he could send us a copy of the invoice from when the Console was professionally cleaned, we would continue to refuse service on his infested Console!)

Will Need To See A Doctor(ate) After This

, | Phoenix, AZ, USA | School

(It’s my first day of working the front desk at the center. My coworker takes a call, which he puts on speaker so I can hear and learn the appropriate reactions to certain common questions, should they come up.)

Coworker: “Hello, this is the [University Center]. My name is [Coworker]. How can I help you?”

Client: “I need help writing my doctoral thesis.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, we primarily provide services to undergrad students.”

Client: “But your website says you have someone who does doctorate level work!”

Coworker: “Yes, sir, but he does doctorate level statistics, and does not work in our writing department. He will not be able to assist you in writing your thesis.”

Client: *growing angry* “I just want someone to do the work! I don’t care if he’s in the writing department or not!”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, sir, we are explicitly told not to do work for students, but rather aid them in understand concepts.”

Client: *shouting* “That’s ridiculous! What purpose do you people serve if you won’t even do a doctoral thesis! You’re getting paid aren’t you? You f***ing lazy, useless undergrad s***s don’t even deserve to be here!”

Coworker: *pauses* “Excuse me, sir, let me transfer you to my manager.”

Client: “Please do! Then I can tell them what a f***ing t**t you are!”

(Coworker transfers the call, and then looks at me.)

Coworker: *dryly* “Well, unfortunately for him, I transferred him to an empty desk. [Manager] doesn’t work weekends.”

I Pronounce Thee Idiot

, | NY, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Popular

Customer: *over dressed for our grocery store location, and speaking with the sort of tone you normally reserve for children* “Give me three la-Zaa-nya squares, an eggplant salad, and one bru-Skeee-ta.

(The customer throws on a really thick, and sudden accent when pronouncing the food. He smiles at me in a way that makes me think I’m supposed to be impressed by this.)

Me: *punching in the order, and repeating it back using the accepted American pronunciation of the words ‘lasagna ‘ and ‘bruschetta* “Three lasagna squares, one large eggplant salad, one bruschetta.”

Customer: “Bru-Skeeeeh-ta” *he drags out the pronunciation even more*

Me: “One bruschetta.” *I agree, again, as per our store policy*

Customer: *looking self important* “It’s actually an Italian word? See if it were German, you would say it the way you’re saying it, but it’s not. Bru-SKEH-ta. See?”

Me: “If you say so, sir.” *getting his order ready, at this point, I’m too tired to deal with him*

Customer: “It’s just like ‘SPUH-geeh-tee’.” He grins at me.

Me: “Of course, sir.”

Customer: “You look like a nice Italian girl. Don’t you want to learn the language?”

Me: *handing him his food* “I’m a boy, sir.”

(His face dropped, and turned an interesting shade of red. He snatched his food away and spit something in what I could only presume is very overly-pronounced Italian at me, before hurrying away.)