Always Right, Unless There’s Not Enough Light

, , , | Right | August 13, 2008

(Note: this story takes place at a bank in Zimbabwe.)

Teller: “Good morning sir, how may I help you?”

Me: “Good morning, please may I withdraw 100 billion?”

(This is about 1 US dollar.)

Teller: “I’m very sorry, sir, but we do not have enough sun.”

Me: “What!?”

Teller: “We cannot give you money because we do not have enough sun.”

Me: “Why do you need sun to give me money?”

Teller: “Oh, we are having a power cut, and the solar panel isn’t receiving enough sun to run the computers.”

Me: *laughs* “Thank you very much for the best excuse, ever.”

Teller: “You’re welcome sir, have a good day.”

1 Thumbs
4,542

He Shoots, He Misses

| Right | August 13, 2008

(I used to work at a drug store. From time to time, the pharmacy portion of the store wouldn’t open because there wasn’t a pharmacist to do so. A customer reads the closed sign…)

Customer: “What’s the meaning of this?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. The pharmacy is closed today because we don’t have a pharmacist.”

Customer: “People are SICK! They need their MEDICATION!”

Me: “I wish there was something I could do, sir, but–”

Customer: “You know what this is? Do you?! Two words! TWO WORDS! UN-ACCEPTABLE!”

1 Thumbs
2,020

Hey G.W., Crazy Lady On Line 1

, , , | Right | August 12, 2008

(I used to work in a building on 17th and Pennsylvania Ave, which is a block away from the White House.)

Me: “Good morning, [company].”

Lady: “Uh, hi… is this office in DC?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, this is the DC office. How may I direct your call?”

Lady: “Is your building by the White House?”

Me: “Yes, it is…?”

Lady: “Can you run over there and tell them to pick up the phone? I’ve been calling all day but I can’t get ahold of the President!”

Me: *click*

1 Thumbs
2,203

Let’s All Just Randomly Grab Crap

, , | Right | August 12, 2008

(I’m ringing up a customer’s items.)

Customer: “That’s wrong. That’s on sale.”

Me: “Well, the system is usually correct, and I don’t believe it is, but I can have someone check.”

(After the area is checked, we find that I am correct.)

Me: “The sign back there says the clearance EXCLUDES your item.”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t.”

Me: “Ma’am, I just had an associate check for you to ensure that the item is not on sale.”

Customer: “Yes, it is! You are just a dumb cashier! Where is your supervisor?”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the supervisor. I’m sorry, but the sign clearly says in large red letters that your item is excluded from the sale.”

Customer: “Well, I shouldn’t have to pay attention! I saw clearance so I just grabbed something. I should get it cheaper because of it!”

1 Thumbs
2,248

Haphazardly Placed Vowels Does Not A Language Make

, , | Right | August 12, 2008

(I’m a customer and see an employee is waiting on another customer. The employee speaks perfect English and actually looks Hawaiian.)

Customer: “EL POLO ICE-CREAMO!”

Employee: Umm… yeah?”

Customer: “I want some choco-lato ice-creamo. GRASSIOS!”

Employee: “I speak English fine. What size do you want?”

Customer: “Oh, you are doing so good. Good job, boy. Umm… I want a GRAND-AY!”

1 Thumbs
2,258