Putting The Me In Blame

| Right | March 16, 2008

(I rang up a customer and about ten minutes later, the woman comes back in, cuts in front of the rest of the line and begins yelling at me.)

Customer: “You never gave me my credit card back! You stole it!”

Me: “No, ma’am, I did not steal your credit card. I gave it back to you.”

Customer: “No you didn’t! I know you stole it! I demand my credit card back!”

(This goes on for ten minutes as I continue ringing up other customers, all of them staring at the insane woman screaming at me.)

Customer: “I looked everywhere and I cannot find my credit card! I know you have it!”

(She opens her wallet to show me that her credit card is missing. I spot the credit card in her wallet.)

Me: “Is your credit card a light-blue visa?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “…It’s in your wallet, right there.”

(She storms out with an attitude and doesn’t even apologize.)

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Must Be A Bunny Wabbit

| Right | March 16, 2008

Coworker: “Hi, can I start you off with any drinks or appetizers?”

Customer: “Lettuce!”

Coworker: “…”

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Captain Obvious Throws In The Towel

| Right | March 16, 2008

(I was working in the Specialty shop, which sells Mexican food, two types of sandwiches which are preassembled by chefs, and chicken strips.)

Guest: “What’s on the turkey sandwich?”

Me: *recites the list of ingredients, which includes cheese*

Guest: “Can you make me one without cheese?”

Me: “No, ma’am. These sandwiches come into the shop premade.”

Guest: “I just want you to make me a turkey sandwich with no cheese.”

(This went on for a bit. Finally…)

Me: “Ma’am, we have no sandwich-making materials in this shop. It is not possible for me to give you a turkey sandwich with *any* different ingredients.”

Guest: “Then what do you do for people who can’t have cheese?”

(I look at the ham and salami sandwich, which does not have cheese. I look at the fryer for the chicken fingers. I look at the shells for the taco salad, which is “Build Your Own” so all ingredients, including cheese, are completely optional. I look next door at the Grill shop, which serves hamburgers and hot dogs, cheese optional. I look at the Pizza shop, which serves items such as spaghetti and tomato soup. Then, I look back at the guest.)

Me: “I do not know.”

 

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Oooh, A Different Top

, | Right | March 15, 2008

(The company was running a coupon special for 20% off one item ONE COUPON PER PERSON. This one heavily made-up woman caused problems at every coupon sale I ever worked there and this time was no different. She made one purchase and then this happened.)

Woman: “How many of these can I use?”

Me: “It’s one per person, so no more today, but there is another coupon for tomorrow so you can come back and use one then.”

Woman: “What if I send my husband in? Can he use one?”

Me: “Yes ma’am. He is a different person so that’s fine.”

Woman: “Well, how many can he use?”

Me: “One. It’s one per person.”

Woman: “What if I buy something else?”

Me: “Well you can buy whatever you want, but you can’t use another coupon. It’s one person for the whole day, not one per transaction.”

Woman: “What if I leave and come back in?”

Me: “You’re still the same person.”

Woman: “What do you mean? I’ll have left and come back.”

Me: “Well our doors are not equipped to change your genetic make-up upon entry, so you would still be the same person.”

(The woman stormed off, then returned 20 minutes later wearing a different top. For some reason she decided to come through my lane again. I refused to let her use it, so she screamed at me and my manager. Eventually she just wadded up the coupon, hit my manager in face with it, and ran off cursing…only to return the next morning and repeat the scenario.)

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Gray, Green, Same Difference

| Right | March 15, 2008

(I was working at the paint desk, and it was in my first day of being trained how to mix the paint using the codes on the color swatches.)

Customer: “1 gallon of this color, please.” *hands me a forest green color swatch*

Me: “Okay.”

(I mix the paint, my manager watching the paint can comes out of the mixer and I pop the top off to make sure I didn’t screw up. And low and behold, the paint is gray, not even close to the the green he asked for.)

Me: “I am sorry sir, I will have my manager re-do it for you. I am sorry about the wait.”

Customer: “No, no, don’t worry about it…that color is close enough.” *takes can and walks off*

My manager: *look of utter confusion*

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