One Track Minds And Earwax Don’t Mix

, , , | Right | November 3, 2007

Me: “What size?”

Lady: “Electric Lime.”

Me: “What size?”

Lady: “Electric Lime.”

Me: “That’s a color, miss. What size did you want the harness in?”

Lady: “What do you mean, ‘What size’?”

Me: “How many inches is it?”

Lady: “Oh I didn’t even think about the size.”

*grimace*

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Thank God They Didn’t Watch Total Recall

| Right | November 3, 2007

Customer: “Do you have that book from that movie Les Miserababah?”

Me:Les Miserables? Yes it would be on the 3rd floor.”

Customer: “What section would it be in?”

Me: “The fiction section.”

Customer: “So nonfiction is true, and fiction is not true, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “How can this book be fiction if there is a movie about it?”

Me: “Movies are not true.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yes. Movies are not true, movies are fiction.”

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Of Course, If You Really Want To Pay …

, | Right | November 2, 2007

Hotel Guest: “So how does parking work at the hotel?”

Me: “Oh, sir, parking is complimentary anywhere on site.”

Hotel Guest: “How much does it cost?”

Me: “It’s complimentary… It’s free.”

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Must … Have … Chocolate … GraAAaawr!

, | Right | November 2, 2007

(It must be noted the ice cream shop I worked at was in a mall, so it was pretty tiny and limited.)

Customer: “I’d like a chocolate ice cream cone please.”

Me: “Sorry, we only have vanilla.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’d like a chocolate ice cream then.”

Me: *stares* “We only have VANILLA. I can drip it in chocolate for you though.”

Customer: “Ugh, gross! No thanks, I’ll go try McDonald’s.”

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There’s Dumb, And Then There’s Scary Dumb

, , , , | Right | November 1, 2007

Me: “Can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, I’d like to buy tickets for Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party.”

Me: “Wonderful. When will you be attending?”

Woman: “Tonight.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am, we actually have sold out for tonight’s event.”

Woman: “Oh, okay. I’ll just get tickets when I get to the park.”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry; we don’t have any tickets at all left. You won’t be able to purchase them at the park.”

Woman: “Right, you’re just sold out of advance tickets. That’s okay; I’ll just get them there.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am, we are sold out of ALL tickets. That means there are NONE available when you get there.”

Woman: “But I can still go, right? I just won’t have a ticket?”

Me: “I’m sorry, you can’t attend Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party without a ticket, and we do not have any tickets available.”

Woman: “Fine, I’ll get my tickets when I get to the park.”

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