Christmas Is Cancelled, Just Like Your Card

, , , , , | Right | December 24, 2019

(I work in the security department for a credit card company. When a customer receives a new card it is blocked to all transactions until they call to activate it. This call happens about 10:00 pm on Christmas Eve.)

Me: “Good evening. Security department, [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Caller: “Hi. I got a new card and it’s not working. I spoke to someone earlier and they said they’d activate it but it’s still not working. I’ve tried using it a few times and it keeps declining.”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that. May I take your card number and [security details] to verify the account?”

Caller: “Yeah, it’s [details].”

Me: “Thank you. I’ve checked the notes on the account and we just need you to send some additional information to us before we can activate the card.”

Caller: “No way. The girl I spoke to earlier said she’d activate the card straight away.”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t see any notes about any earlier calls. You will need to send the required information before we can activate this card.”

Caller: “That’s not good enough! It’s Christmas f****** Eve and I’ve brought my whole family out to dinner. I said I’d pay and now my card isn’t working. What am I supposed to f****** do?”

Me: “Do you have any other cards you can pay with or do any members of your family have cards or cash on them?”

Caller: “No! I have no other cards and no cash, and because I said I’d pay none of my family have any money with them. Do you have any idea how f****** embarrassing this is? Activate the card now!”

Me: “I suggest you speak to the restaurant to see if they can arrange something or see if you can call someone who can bring cash to you. As I’ve already said, I cannot activate this card tonight. You will need to send in the required information first.”

(The call goes round in circles for the next ten minutes as the customer gets angrier. Eventually, I end the call.)

Coworker: “Man, I could hear him screaming at you from here. How did you stay so calm and polite?”

Me: “He’s in a restaurant with his whole family and not one of them have cash or cards on them? That seems unlikely, so I looked at the transaction history. He said he’s trying to use the card, but if he tried to use it that would show as a declined transaction on the system. There are absolutely no transactions — nothing. He’s lying. It’s easy to stay calm when I know the customer is in the wrong and just trying to fluster me!”

(Sure enough, when I checked the account after Christmas, it had been closed as a fraudulent application.)

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Christmases Are Getting Hotter Every Year

, , , , | Right | December 24, 2019

(I work in a relatively well-known bakery that specialises in a certain [Hot Food], as well as cakes. It’s Christmas Eve, and a lady comes in to buy a few cakes as well as one of the [Hot Food] items. My coworker bags up the cakes, but leaves the [Hot Food] out next to the bag so it doesn’t melt the icing. Unsurprisingly, she leaves the item on the counter, which we then put back for her in case she returns. About half an hour later, we receive a call asking for our number, even though they called it, which I give out as they assume they’ve called the wrong branch. Not long after I hang up, the phone rings again and the following ensues:)

Me: “Hello, [Bakery Name and Branch], [My Name] speaking; how can I help?”

(I hear crashing and swearing in the background.)

Me: “Hello?”

Lady: *annoyed* “Is this [Other Branch] again?”

Me: “No, this is [Branch], how can I help?

Lady: *annoyed* “Well, I was just in your shop and I brought a couple of cakes and a [Hot Food] but when I got home, my [Hot Food] wasn’t in the bag.”

Me: “Ah, was it by chance [Hot Food]?”

Lady: *annoyed* “Yes, it was.”

Me: “It was left on the counter so we’ve put it back for you in case you came back for it.”

Lady: *annoyed and aggressive* “Well, I’m not coming back for it, so when is he going to deliver it to me?”

Me: *confused* “Deliver what to you?”

Lady: “My [Hot Food]. It was your coworker’s fault it was left, so he should deliver it to my house.”

(I pause for a second, wondering if she’s that fragmented from reality that she expects my coworker to actually deliver her food.)

Me: *politely but firmly* “I’m sorry but he can’t do that.”

Lady: *even more aggressive* “Well, you’re f****** useless, then, aren’t you?! He should have to deliver my hot food. It was his fault it was left behind. I know your district manager. I’m going to tell her how useless you all are and you’re all going to be fired!”

(This continues for about twenty seconds or so, with her making threats of our firing and calling us useless, as well as throwing in a fair few obscenities. I start to wonder if it would be worth hanging up until she finally nears the end of her rant.)

Lady: “Useless, the lot of you! You’ll all be fired!”

Me: *cheery voice* “Okay, Merry Christmas!”

(The lady hung up. I then called my manager to warn her of the complaint coming her way. She told me not to worry and well done for keeping my cool. After I got off the phone, I told my colleagues who just laughed, leading us to joke throughout the day about how f****** useless we all were.)

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The Time For Giving Up Your Time

, , , | Right | December 24, 2019

(I work in a country gift shop that also has a restaurant. It is Christmas Eve, and a group of people comes in at 1:55 when we close at two.)

Customers: “We know you close in five minutes, but we’re coming in to eat anyway.”

(Thanks a lot! I didn’t get to leave until almost three!)

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Christmas Closures Will Be Ignored  

, , , , , | Right | December 24, 2019

I am celebrating December 24th with my boss and peers — a motley crew of different South American backgrounds. My boss, a forty-something Peruvian, closes the door and hangs the “I’ll be back in five minutes” sign up while his wife pops a bottle of champagne to celebrate.

The sign is completely futile, and my boss has to remind every other persistent passerby trying to pry open the door with their bare hands in the presence of the sign, in the next five minutes, that we’re closed.

This leads me to the conclusion that if you do this, you’re either too stupid or you do it on purpose.

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The Silence Of The Cows

, , , | Right | December 24, 2019

(It is almost Christmas Eve, so there are a lot of “special meats” available, like lobster or lamb, specially made for fondue or gourmet. There’s a customer who’s asking for my help.)

Customer: “Hi. What’s the price on the lamb?”

Me: “It’s [total] per kg so it’s [grand total] in total for this one.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Um, I have another question. What’s the lamb made out of? I mean, from which animal is it, like cow or chicken?”

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