Like Father, Like Son

| Right | September 14, 2008

(A guy walks up to the register carrying his two or three year old son and places him on the counter.)

Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us?”

Guy: “No, and I don’t want one either. No!”

(The little boy grabs the stylus from the PIN pad and starts trying to draw.)

Little Boy: “No! No! No! No!”

Me: *jokingly* “See, look what you taught him.”

(The guy tries to take the stylus from his son.)

Guy: “Give me the d*** pen!”

Little Boy: “Give me the d*** pen! Give me the d*** pen!”

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1-800-DUHHHHH

, | Right | September 14, 2008

Me: “Operator.”

Customer: “I need to call long distance to New York.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, you need to hang up and dial ’00’ for the long distance operator.”

Customer: “I don’t have a ’00’ button on my phone. I only have a ‘0’!”

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How Spider-woman Goes Shopping

, , | Right | September 13, 2008

Customer: “Excuse me, where is the exit to the street?”

Me: “Take the escalator down to the first floor and go out any of the doors.”

Customer: “Down? I have to go down? But I came in on this floor.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is the 3rd floor.”

Customer: “But I came in on this floor.”

Me: “That’s impossible; this is the 3rd floor.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I swear I came in on this floor. And you know, the customer is always right. ”

Me: “Unless you scaled the building to get in, I am right on this one.”

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Amen

, | Right | September 13, 2008

(A customer runs in two minutes to closing time.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we’re closing soon.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you’re closing? But I haven’t had time to get what I want!”

Me: “We’re open again tomorrow, 9 til 9.”

Customer: “You should stay open until 10. People need to do their shopping, you know.”

Me: “Sir, people like you are the reason that people like me don’t have lives.”

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Kitteh Sez STFU

, , , | Right | September 13, 2008

(I’m tending to the cats at our pet store when a young woman comes up and points at a small tabby, Velma.)

Me: “Ah, would you like to see Velma? She’s a little shy but very sweet.”

Customer: “I can has cat?”

Me: “Um… if you are interested in adopting, I’ll be happy to get out Velma or any of the cats so that you can get to know them a little better.”

Customer: “I can has lolcat?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “She is in her playpen, stealin our funs!”

Me: “You know, pets can be a big responsibility, and I’m not sure a cat would be the best thing for you right now.”

Customer: “K thanks bye!” *turns and walks out of the store*

Me: *to Velma* “I think I may have just saved your life.”

 

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