Making A Mug Out Of You

, | Southlake, TX, USA | Food & Drink

(I work at a bakery and cafe that uses regular words (small, med, large) for coffee sizes, but having worked for the Siren in the past, I know their language, too.)

Customer: “…and a tall coffee.”

Me: *repeating back order* “…and one small coffee.”

Customer: “NO. I said TALL. T-A-L-L. I don’t know what words you guys use here, but I need a tall.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I used to work at [Competitor] so I know that tall is small for them. We make it easy and just use small, medium, and large.”

Customer: “Fine, whatever, a regular then.”

Me: “Okay, so one medium coffee?”

Customer: “YES.”

(We finish the transaction, which ends with me giving her a medium paper cup for the self-serve coffee. Afterwards, I step away from the register for a moment to help run food and bus tables. I return to the register to see the same customer walking up.)

Customer: “I need a cup.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, did I forget to give you one?”

Customer: *holding up the cup I gave her* “No, I need a CUP. C-U-P.”

Me: “Do you need a second one, to double-cup it?”

Customer: “NO, I spent so long telling you what size I wanted that I forgot to tell you that I want a CUP.”

Me: “Oh, do you want a ceramic mug? Let me go get you one!”

(The real kicker is, we only have one size mug so we could have avoided all this if she started with that!)


Sending Them ‘Straight’ Out

| Tampa, FL, USA | Bigotry

(I work at a restaurant that’s very busy on Saturday nights; we’re at full capacity. I have a regular couple who normally comes in for coffees and desserts, and I have a table of a same gender couple sit behind them, who is celebrating their two year anniversary. The couple hear me congratulate them.)

Gentleman: “[My Name], can you sit us somewhere else?”

Me: “Oh, I am sorry. We are at full capacity; there isn’t any where else. Is something the matter with your table?”

Gentleman: “We cannot sit here as good Christians and condone that sort of behavior. It goes against God and all he stands for.”

Me: “I apologize but I am confused. What behavior?”

(The wife, who hasn’t said anything, slams her hand on the table and very loudly says:)

Wife: “Them! Those devils!” *unattractive language followed by slur* “I demand to speak to your manager at once!”

(I quickly get my manager and am apologizing profusely to the other couple.)

Manager: “What is the problem, Mrs. [Name]?”

Wife: “How dare you call yourself a family-friendly restaurant when you allow and serve [slurs] in here. We demand a refund!”

Manager: “We allow everyone in here, and we cannot give you a refund just because you disapprove of our customers.”

Wife: “We will not be back.”

(The husband paid just enough for their coffees. Their dessert hadn’t come out yet, and my manager said I could give it the other couple on us for the outburst. They still come into the restaurant, so we lost a regular and gained another one because we stood our ground. They were really nice and when I finally left they were on their sixth anniversary, and marriage was legalized in Florida and they had picked a date!)


This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 58

| Iowa City, IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I am working at a popular book store chain which has a membership card. This particular customer, hands me her card, but I see that it is expired.)

Me: “I’m sorry, it looks like your card is expired. Would you like to renew it?”

Customer: “It can’t be expired. I signed up for automatic renewal.”

Me: “That’s odd. Let me call member services and see what’s going on.”

(I call member services and they confirm that the customer was signed up for automatic renewal, but that her credit card was expired, so the renewal didn’t go through. I explain this to the customer.)

Customer: “That’s impossible. Credit cards don’t expire.”

Me: “Well, I can show you the expiration date on your card. It’s right here.”

Customer: “Right, but the bank sent me a new card. It has the same number and everything.”

Me: “But member services didn’t have your new card’s expiration date, so they weren’t able to charge you.”


(We go back and forth like this, with the customer shouting at both me and a manager, until another customer offers to let the first customer borrow her membership card.)

Me: *to the manager, after both customers leave* “That was nice, but now the same thing is going to happen the next time she comes in.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 57
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 56
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 55


As Daft A Brush

| UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(A lady of around 60 approaches the checkout, brandishing a pack of two toothbrushes.)

Customer: “There are two brushes in here!”

Me: “Ah, yes. It’s a manufacturer’s promotion. You get a second brush free.”

Customer: “But it’s in the packet.”

Me: “Well, because the promotion is by the manufacturer rather than by us, they put the free brush right there in the packet with the other one.”

Customer: “I only want one.”

Me: “The second one’s free…”

Customer: “I only want one toothbrush. I don’t need a second.”

Me: “Well… you could just save the second one until you need it. Save yourself another trip down here next time.”

Customer: “I want ONE.”

Me: “Do you have family? Give the free brush to someone! It’s free!”

Customer: “I want a packet with ONE brush in it. You must have some in the back.”

Me: “Sorry, only these ones at the moment–”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I just want to buy a toothbrush!”

Me: “If you buy this, you can take the second brush out… and throw it away!”

(Customer paused for a moment.)

Me: “You don’t even have to leave the shop. Once you’ve paid, you can open it right here and I’ll dispose of the second brush for you.”

(She insisted on speaking to the manager for a while but went with my plan in the end. She paid the asking price, opened the packet, took one brush home and gave the free one to the manager to throw away.)

Shot Yourself In The Foot

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I’m stocking shelves when a customer approaches.)

Customer: “Excuse me; do you not sell kangaroo meat anymore?”

Me: “It should be over this way; however, it may have moved somewhere else.”

(As I take the customer to where I’m pretty sure the kangaroo meat is kept, he continues talking.)

Customer: “It must be because they’ve stopped the shooting. No one knows how to shoot anymore, so there’s no one to shoot the kangaroos! That’s why you don’t have any! People these days, they don’t know how to shoot!”

(At this point we reach the right section, and sure enough, the fridge is packed with various brands of kangaroo meat.)

Me: “Here it is.”

Customer: “Oh.”

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