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Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 3

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work at a big box electronics chain. A woman walks in the store as I’m walking by the front. As I greet her, she asks for Tax Software, a software that assists in doing your own taxes.)

Me: “Absolutely! Right this way!” *leads her to [Tax Software]* “The programs are right here! Do you need Home or Business?”

Customer: *confused* “I need [Tax Software]…”

Me: “Yep! They are right here.” *picks up a couple options and shows them to here*

Customer: “No, no. I just lost my accountant and I need my taxes done.”

Me: “Sure thing! These are [Tax Software]. There is also a [Tax Company Software] option right here as well, if you want that one.”

Customer: “I need help with this!”

Me: “Oh, that won’t be a problem at all! With either of these options, they will give you step-by-step directions on how to file your taxes by just asking you a few questions!”

Customer: “You don’t understand. I need someone to come to my house and help me with this! I have these documents—” *she tries to hand me her taxes from last year*

Me: “Um… well… we can have our agents install the software on your computer for [total], but for your own safety and security, we won’t be able to actually use the software for you.”

Customer: “I was told to come to [Store] to do [Tax Software]! I was told that you would help me!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. We have [Tax Software] right here, but unfortunately [Store] does not offer tax services. If you’re looking for someone to do your taxes for you, may I suggest [Tax Company]? I’m sure if you drive around you’ll see signs for them. They’re pretty much everywhere this time of year.”

Customer: “Can’t you come to my house and do it for me?”

Related:
Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 2
Too Taxing For Them To Understand

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How To Lose A Sale

| IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I am managing the jewelry counter at a major retailer and showing a woman a very nice pair of cubic zirconia earrings.)

Me: “I have found that the best thing about CZ is that if you lose them, they’re inexpensive to replace.”

Customer: “What do you mean ‘lose them’?”

Me: “I just meant—”

Customer: “I’m not buying them if I’m going to lose them.”

(I couldn’t help but to stare at the woman as she walked away.)

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Preventing A Scream Over Ice-Cream

| Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior

(My parents, my sister, and I are going to a chain ice cream shop. We’re sitting down enjoying our food, when suddenly a man gets a little picky about his ice-cream:)

Man: *he begins to immediately talk loud to get the young cashier’s attention* “I am not going to eat this! The waitress wasn’t being nice.”

(At this point the whole restaurant was silent and staring at this greedy man.)

Man: “This waitress delivered my food in a horrible attitude. I demand to see the manager!”

(After a few minutes, the manager, a small sweet Asian lady walks out.)

Manager: *in a sweet voice* “What seems to be the problem?”

Man: “This waitress was extremely rude when she delivered my ice cream. I don’t appreciate her attitude towards me.”

(The waitress, who is no less than 16 is trembling a few feet away.)

Manager: “What would you like me to do? Would you like a free ice cream? It will be on us.”

Man: “I want her name. Give me her name.”

(At this point my dad decided to intervene.)

Dad: “Why do you need her name?”

Man: “Shut the f*** up. This isn’t your problem.”

(Sitting around him is a whole family, including a few young kids.)

Dad: “It isn’t, but she is sixteen years old. Why would you need her name?”

(An old man with the group flips off my dad.)

Dad: “Would you like to take this outside? I am more than happy to.”

Old Man: “No…”

(My mom decides to jump in.)

Mom: “For all we know, you could use her name to track her down. There is no real reason to get her name; there is no real problem here.”

(There is a small moment of silence, when suddenly the manager speaks up:)

Manager: “Will a free ice cream be okay?”

Man: *glances at my family then at the Manager* “Yes…”

Dad: *stands up and addresses restaurant* “I’m sorry I snapped.”

Customer: “Don’t be. You said what we all wanted to say.”

(After that the man shut up and sat in peace. The whole restaurant practically cheered for my parents when it was over.)