How About A Coupon For A Free Psych Evaluation

, , , | Right | July 9, 2008

Me: “Ma’am, with this order, you received a free coupon for [Brand] Cosmetics.”

Customer: “What, do you think I need it?”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “That’s very rude, telling someone they need makeup!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not suggesting you need makeup. I’m just offering it to you because the computer printed it out.”

Customer: “Oh, what, now the computer thinks I need makeup?”

Me: “No, ma’am… it prints out coupons for random items.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t need it any coupons from you, so there!” *storms off*

Me: *rubbing my temples* “Have a good day, ma’am.”

1 Thumbs
1,585

Thank God They Took Away His Whip

, , | Right | July 9, 2008

(This happened the day before Canadian Thanksgiving…)

Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for today?”

Customer: “I’ve been waiting fifteen minutes in line!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it’s a busy day today with the last minute shopping!”

Customer: “Well, you should have all the lanes open! Why isn’t that lane open?”

Me: “I assume she’s on her break at the moment…”

Customer: “You shouldn’t GET breaks when it’s busy!”

1 Thumbs
1,706

The Wind Beneath My Swings

, | Right | July 8, 2008

Caller: “The swing set was delivered yesterday, and… it’s fine, but I need instructions.”

Me: “No problem, I’ll email them to you right now. Are you missing anything from your shipment? If you are, let me know and I can get those right out for you.”

Caller: “Um, no. I’m not missing anything, but I do have one question.”

Me: “Sure, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Well, I got the swing set and… well… thank you for the added accessory, but where do I put it? I mean, how do I attach it to the set?”

Me: “Which accessory, sir?”

Caller: “The toilet seat.”

Me: “The what?!”

Caller: “Yeah, and I just want to know how I attach it to the swing set?”

Me: “Um, ok. First of all, you don’t put toilet seats on your child’s swing set. Secondly, that wasn’t in your shipment from us. The trucking company must have gotten some boxes mixed up.”

Caller: “Ooooooohh…” *speaking to someone off the phone* “HEY JOE! Don’t open that box! That toilet seat isn’t ours! It doesn’t go on the set!”

(I would just like to state for the record that “toilet seat” and “swing set” should NEVER be used in the same sentence.)

1 Thumbs
1,916

Oh My, Aren’t We Sneaky Today

| Right | July 8, 2008

(I’m working at a well-known Scandinavian furniture store. Our children’s supervised play area only allows ages 3 to 6. Parents need to fill in a form with the names of the children and the address…)

Customer: *writes down age 7*

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but only children from 3 until 6 are allowed to play in here.”

Customer: *makes a 6 out of the 7 and looks at me with a big smile*

Me: “…”

1 Thumbs
1,737

The Baby Steps Diet

, | Right | July 8, 2008

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Coffee Shop]. How can I help you?”

Regular Customer: “Hey, buddy!”

Me: “How are ya today? The usual?”

Regular Customer: “Nope, I cut back on my sugar. I no longer take eight.”

Me: “Oh. What can I get you, then?”

Regular Customer: “I’ll get a large with seven and three quarters sugar.”

1 Thumbs
2,318