A Burger, Made Entirely Of Cheese

| | Right | February 16, 2008

Me: “Hi, how can I help?”

Lady: “Yes I’d like a hamburger please…”

Me: “Okay.”

Lady: “…with cheese on.”

Me: “Okay, so you would like a cheeseburger then?”

Lady: “No, I’d like a hamburger with cheese on.”

Me: “Yes, that would in fact be a cheeseburger.”

Lady: “But it says on your menu that you do hamburgers.”

Me: “Yes, we do, but you asked for cheese on it, so that is a cheeseburger.”

Lady: *getting angry now* “Look, I just want a hamburger with cheese on!”

Me: *calls over my shoulder* “One hamburger with cheese!”

(Sound of giggling in the back.)

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Low Class, High Class, Still An Ass

| | Right | February 16, 2008

(A customer is sitting in front of a display, reading a book.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t sit in front of our displays.”

Customer: “I have to sit here because the customers over there are sending me bad energy.”

Coworker: “Uh, okay…”

(Coworker walks over to me.)

Coworker: “Your turn.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t sit in front of our displays.”

Customer: “I’m not low class you know!”

(I walk away stunned. After awhile, the customer finally gets up and walks toward the cashier.)

Customer: “I have a complaint about two of your staff members. They called me low class. I’m not low class–I’m almost forty!”

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Caught Red-Handed

| | Right | February 15, 2008

Guest: “I’d like to return this toaster.”

Me: “Okay ma’am, do you have a receipt for the purchase dated within 90 days?”

Guest: “No.”

Me: “Okay, well you can’t return it then. However, if you have an ID you can exchange it for an item of equal or lesser value from the same department.”

Guest: “But I don’t want to exchange it. I want my money.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry but if you don’t have a receipt, you can’t return the item.”

Guest: “[Other store name] would take it back!”

Another guest in line: “Excuse me, I work there and, no we wouldn’t!”

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Crazy Old Lady 1, Bag Boy 0

| | Right | February 15, 2008

(I was a cashier at a local grocery store one summer. At 9 o clock every night, it was the bagboy’s duty to clean the store…which included vacuuming the rugs in front of the automatic doors. One night, about 8-8:30, an elderly lady comes in and sits by the doors.)

Me: “Hello! How are you tonight, do you need any assistance?”

Lady: “No, I’m fine, I’m just going to sit here.”

Me: “Okay, then.”

(She sits there until about 9 o clock until a bagboy comes out with a vacuum cleaner…he proceeds to do his job.)

Lady: “AAAH!!! What is that? What is that horrible noise? I can’t take it! I can’t take it!” *Walks up to the bagboy* “What are you doing? Stop it! Stop it!”

Bagboy: “I’m just vacuuming the rugs…”

Lady: “Stop it! I can’t take this noise! Why are you doing this?!”

Me and the other cashiers: “…”

(She goes back to sit down and doesn’t leave until late. Our managers come out and forbid the bagboys from vacuuming while she is there. She then proceeds for a couple more times that week to come in at 8 o’clock and if some bagboy even brought out the vacuum cleaner, unaware of who she is, they get an earful about the horrible noise that afflicts her.)

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Insert Karate Stereotype Here

| | Right | February 15, 2008

Customer: “Miss, do you serve Chinese food at this restaurant?”

Me: “Um…no, we serve mainly bar food, hamburgers and that sort of thing.”

Customer: *irritated and skeptical, points at one of the servers* “Yeah, but he’s Chinese.”


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