Stupidity Exemplified

, , | | Right | February 24, 2008

(I was working in the seasonal section of a large bulk retail chain. It was Christmas time and we sold large sets of decorative houses with lights in them.)

Customer: “Hi, I would like to purchase one of these…” *points to a house set* “…but there aren’t anymore underneath it. Where are the others stored?””

(I use my price gun to check the quantities of said item.)

Me: “I’m sorry, it appears we are sold out.”

Customer: “Well, then, I’ll just take this one.” *points to the display unit*

Me: “Oh, that’s just a display unit. That one isn’t for sale.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “This is one of those specific items that we are given a temporary display unit from the vendor that we have to send back at the end of the season.”

Customer: “So why can’t I buy it?”

Me: “Well, it’s not ours to sell. It is rented from the people who made the set.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why I can’t buy it!”

Me: “It does not belong to us. We cannot sell what does not belong to us.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “What kind of car do you drive?”

Customer: “A 2000 Focus. Why?”

Me: *to a passing customer* “Sir, would you like to buy a 2000 Focus?”

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Selling your car.”

Customer: “Why? It’s MY car!”

Me: “Well, I didn’t think ownership made a difference to you.”

(She then stormed off to talk to a manager who told her I would be taken care of. He then proceeded to buy me a piece of pizza for making his day.)

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As Dumb As You Look

| | Right | February 23, 2008

(I work the door sometimes at a local bar, and it normally goes as follows:)

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Girl #1: “Yeah, sure. Here it is.”

Me: “Thanks, hmm… This doesn’t look like you.”

Girl #1: “Well, you can ask me anything on it. I know all of it.”

(I ask her friend that is trying to come in with her.)

Me: “Okay, what’s her name?”

Girl #2: “Umm…”

Me: “Thought so.” *handing back her ID* “You have a nice night, and maybe pay for your fake next time.”

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The Joy Of Sex(ism)

| | Right | February 23, 2008

(I’m a 28 year old female and work for a computer store. I’m alone in the store when a middle-aged man walks in.)

Me: “Hi there, can I help you?”

Customer: “Are there any computer guys around here?”

Me: “Just me at the moment, anything I can help you with?”

Customer: *tries to look behind me to the stock room and repair area* “Well, aren’t there any computer GUYS here?”

Me: “No. Look, is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Well um…I need this fixed.” *holds a multimedia
jukebox*

Me: “Well, I work in repairs as well so just tell me what’s wrong with it and I’ll take a look at it for you.”

Customer: “Listen, I just need to talk to a computer guy! I did everything right. I put the hard disk in but it still won’t work. Just get a guy to fix it!”

Me: “Well, the most common mistake is when people forget to format the hard disk. I can have that fixed in 5 minutes.”

Customer: “Yeah sure. Get one of the tech GUYS to do it and call me when it’s ready.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

(I went back and of course he hadn’t formatted the disk. I fix it and call the guy who shows up immediately.)

Me: “Here you go. As I thought you had just forgotten to format the disk. I did that for you and it’s working fine now.”

Customer: “No, that can’t have been the problem. I KNOW computers.”

Me: “Well, this isn’t a computer, and it’s a common mistake to make when you put the hard disk in yourself. Anyway, I fixed it for you so everything should be fine now.”

Customer: “Look, isn’t there a computer GUY I could talk to?”

Me: *losing will to live and considering a sex change*

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A Pain In The Ask

| | Right | February 23, 2008

(This customer bought a couple packs of white t-shirts and socks.)

Me: “Your total is $28.77.”

Customer: “Were the shirts on sale?”

Me: “Yes, they were $2 off.”

Customer: “How do you know?”

Me: “…because that’s what the sale price is. See? It shows it here on the register screen.”

Customer: “Oh okay. But were they on sale?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Okay. Were the socks on sale?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Our sales change weekly and this week these socks aren’t on sale.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because they aren’t on sale this week.”

Customer: “But why?”

Me: “I don’t know…corporate decides the sales.”

Customer: “Oh okay. What’s the total?”

Me: “$28.77.”

(The customer gives me $40 and I give him his $11.23. I used two $5 bills instead of a 10 because I didn’t have any 10s in my till.)

Customer: “I want a 10, I don’t want two fives!”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t have any tens in my drawer. I only have fives.”

Customer: “Why do you think that is?”

Me: “Well, when I get change from my supervisors they just give me fives. They don’t usually have any tens. And also customers just don’t usually pay with tens.”

Customer: “But why do you think that is?”

Me: “I don’t really know. Probably because the customers usually get money from ATMs and they only give out twenties.”

Customer: “Why do you think that is?”

Me: “I don’t know. I guess the banks just think that people really just need twenties.”

Customer, frustrated: “Wait, why are we talking about banks?”

Me: “I don’t know, you brought it up.”

Customer: “I don’t want two fives, I want a ten!”

Me: “Go ask at customer service. They might have some.”

Customer: “Why do you think that is?”

(I call the manager who gets the guy his ten. He finally leaves after asking me again if the socks were on sale.)

 

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Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

| | Right | February 22, 2008

(I had just started a new IT job for a large school district and was not expecting the level of stupidity I would be dealing with on a regular basis. Within my first 3 weeks, I receive a phone call from a school.)

Clerk: “Hi, I am trying to use this new system on these computers and I attempting to make my account. My Principal got me started but now I am stuck.”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Clerk: “Well, it is asking me for First Name and I have no idea what I am supposed to type.”

Me: “You’re at the registration screen? Um…well I think you are supposed to enter your name.”

Clerk: “Oh…okay…wait. No, it’s asking me for something else.”

Me: “What now?”

Clerk: “It says…last…name…what do I put here?”

Me: “Probably your last name.”

Clerk: “Oh, thanks…oh Jesus, now it’s asking for my phone number! What the hell am I suppose to put here! Why can’t I just do it the old fashioned way?”

Me: “You mean pen and paper?”

Clerk: “Yes! It was so much easier. These fancy computers are just so complicated. I never understand what I am suppose to do!”

(I bit my tongue and just let her ramble on about how ‘First Name’ was such an incredibly hard concept to grasp.)

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