Murphy’s Law In Action

| | Right | June 11, 2008

Me: “Tall latte on the bar.”

(The latte does not get claimed.)

Me: “We’ve got a tall latte up here, ready for pickup.”

(The latte still does not get claimed. We make drinks for a few other customers, giving it a few more minutes.)

Me: “Okay, last call for a tall latte, if nobody claims it we’re pitching it.”

(The latte once against does not get claimed.)

Me: “Okay then…”

(I pour the drink down the sink.)

Me, to a coworker: “I bet that in less than 30 seconds, we’ll get someone asking about a tall latte.”

Woman, exactly 0.0001 seconds later: “Hi, was there a tall latte?”

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There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People, Part 2

, | | Right | June 11, 2008

(I overheard a coworker trying to help someone choose a plant.)

Coworker: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a nice plant for the front of my house.”

Coworker: “Alright, we have a number of excellent options to choose from. What kind of sun exposure does the spot get?”

Customer: “Well… it’s light all day, then dark at night.”

Me: *losing hope*

 

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Next Time, Less Hair, More Planning

| | Right | June 11, 2008

(My mother is a hostess in a Chinese buffet restaurant. Said restaurant only has Chinese employees. A woman with a fully stacked plate angrily approaches her.)

Woman: “Excuse me! There’s a hair in my food! You have to give this meal to me for free!”

(My mother looks at the woman’s plate, and what does she find? A single long blonde hair, neatly laid on top of her plate.)

 

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… And They Say The Post Office Is Slow

| | Right | June 11, 2008

(A customer is buying a stamp for a letter shortly after the 2007 price increase.)

Customer: “Why can’t I get a 39 cent stamp? You still have them.”

Me: “We still have them in stock, but we have to make up the difference with 2 cent stamps. Don’t worry, we’ll stick the right amount on for you.”

Customer: “I just want a 39 cent stamp.”

Me: “Okay, but your letter will not get there.”

Customer: “Just give me it!”

(The customer takes the stamp, affixes it, and tosses the letter into the slot. I promptly pick up the letter from the bin and stamp it “Insufficient Postage, Return To Sender”.)

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Guess Whose Picture Is Next To “Pyrrhic”

| | Right | June 10, 2008

(We sell milk for 2.99 a gallon. Some kid pulled the “.” and the “9” off so it says 29 dollars. Not surprisingly, a lady comes in to buy a gallon and hands me thirty dollars.)

Me: “Ma’am, you just gave me a twenty and 10 singles to buy milk. It’s only $2.99.”

Lady: “Well that’s not what the sign says! it says 29 dollars!”

Me: “But ma’am, you’re paying more money than it actually costs.”

Lady: “I don’t care how much it costs! Just do your job and give me my f**king milk for 29 dollars!”

Me: “Okay, If that’s what you want…” *gives her a dollar back*

Lady: “Thank you! If you had just done your job I would’ve been out of here by now!”

Me: “Have a great day!”

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