Jeff Foxworthy Would Be Proud

, , | Right | November 19, 2007

Customer: “Two tickets for Madagascar.”

(After the previews, he returns.)

Customer: “I want my money back!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “You have the wrong movie playing in there. It’s a cartoon. Where’s the cars?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, cars?”

Customer: “NASCAR! I wanted to see Mad about NASCAR!!”

Me: “Let me get the manager…”

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Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota

, , | Right | November 19, 2007

Customer: “I’d like pineapple on my sub.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have pineapple. Only [Other Sandwich Shop] has pineapple.”

Customer: “Yes, you do! I always get pineapple here!”

Me: “I’ve worked here for quite a while, and we’ve never had it. Sorry!”

Customer: “Excuse me, the customer is always right! You can’t argue with me!”

Me: “Um…”

Customer speaks to my manager: “Excuse me, your employee is arguing with me! What are you going to do about it?”

Manager: “Don’t be so stupid! Get out of my store!”

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Psst… The Sun Gives You Cancer, Too

, , | Right | November 16, 2007

(I begin to ring up a customer’s purchases at the register.)

Customer: “Wait! When you ring up the bagged bulk items, don’t put them on the part the laser shines through. Weigh them on the metal, please.”

Me: “Is it a problem if I scan everything else?”

Customer: “No, it’s just that the bags are clear and the laser gives you cancer.”

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Captain Obvious To The Rescue

, , | Right | November 16, 2007

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Sandwich Shop]. What kind of sandwich can I get for you?”

Customer: “Uhh… I’ll get a club.”

Me: “Would you like a six inch or a footlong?”

Customer: “I don’t know. How long is a footlong?”

Me: “It’s a FOOT LONG.”

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Depth Perception Strikes Again

, | Right | November 16, 2007

Customer: “So you’re sure you don’t have any small hot dogs?”

Employee: “Yes.”

Customer: (Points to hot dog grill further down the counter) “Well, what about those ones over there then??”

Employee: “No, they’re just further away.”

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