Shhhh, They’re Listening Right Now!

| | Right | November 20, 2007

Me: “**** University, how my I help you?”

Phone client: “What is this about you recording my call? Are you guys working for CSIS (Canadian Security Intelligence Service)?”

Me: “No sir, we record some calls in order to ensure the quality of our service. What can I do for you today?”

Phone client: “Are you recording my call right now?”

Me: “I don’t know sir. Management records call randomly.”

*Hangs up*

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The Lost And Dumbfounded

, , | | Right | November 19, 2007

Customer in the drive-thru: “Hi, I’d like a BK Veggie.”

Me: “Sir, you’re at Hardee’s, not Burger King. We don’t have any vegetarian entrees.”

Customer in the drive-thru: “Oh, okay. Thanks anyway.”

(Customer sat there for a few minutes before driving away.)

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Jeff Foxworthy Would Be Proud

, , | | Right | November 19, 2007

Customer: “Two tickets for Madagascar.”

(After the previews, he returns.)

Customer: “I want my money back!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “You have the wrong movie playing in there. It’s a cartoon. Where’s the cars?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, cars?”

Customer: “NASCAR! I wanted to see Mad about NASCAR!!”

Me: “Let me get the manager…”

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Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota

, , | | Right | November 19, 2007

Customer: “I’d like pineapple on my sub.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have pineapple. Only [Other Sandwich Shop] has pineapple.”

Customer: “Yes, you do! I always get pineapple here!”

Me: “I’ve worked here for quite a while, and we’ve never had it. Sorry!”

Customer: “Excuse me, the customer is always right! You can’t argue with me!”

Me: “Um…”

Customer speaks to my manager: “Excuse me, your employee is arguing with me! What are you going to do about it?”

Manager: “Don’t be so stupid! Get out of my store!”

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Psst… The Sun Gives You Cancer, Too

, , | | Right | November 16, 2007

(I begin to ring up a customer’s purchases at the register.)

Customer: “Wait! When you ring up the bagged bulk items, don’t put them on the part the laser shines through. Weigh them on the metal, please.”

Me: “Is it a problem if I scan everything else?”

Customer: “No, it’s just that the bags are clear and the laser gives you cancer.”

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