One Man’s Trash Is… Another Man’s Trash

| | Right | June 22, 2008

Hotel guest: *glances at front desk* “Do you have any newspapers?”

Me: “If there aren’t any out on the counter, we’re all out.”

Hotel guest: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes sir, I’m sure. If I had any more, I assure you they’d be sitting there on the counter.”

Hotel guest: ¬†”Okay, is there one in there?” *points to trashcan behind the front desk*

Me: ¬†”Um, sir… are you asking if there are any newspapers… in the trash?”

Hotel guest: “Yes.”

Me: ¬†”Um… well… sir… I don’t think you want to look through here, there’s food and all sorts of gross–”

Hotel guest: “I want to look through there for a newspaper.”

Me: ¬†”Um, okay…”

(He brings the trash to the front and starts digging through it.)

Hotel guest: ¬†”UGH! This trash is DISGUSTING!” *storms off*

(There was a gas station literally 100 feet away from the hotel. This guy would rather dig through the trash for a newspaper than walk up the street and buy one.)

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The Joys Of Motherhood

| | Right | June 21, 2008

(A mom and little girl are waiting in line. I watch from a different line.)

Little Girl: “Can I have this candy?”

Mom: “No, put it back.”

Little Girl: “But that’s not fair! That’s not fair!”

Mom: “Cut that out!”

Little Girl: *takes a deep breath and calms down, then turns to her mom* “I’m killing you. I’m going to kill you.”

Mom: “…”

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How About Our Boogers, Lint And Toejam Sandwich

| | Right | June 21, 2008

Customer: “I want to know why you made his sandwich before you finished making mine.”

Worker: “… because yours wasn’t finished heating up yet.”

Customer: “I didn’t want a hot sandwich.”

Worker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Company rules say we’re required to heat the bacon for a BLT.”

Customer: “I didn’t ASK for bacon!”

Worker: “You ordered a BLT…”

Customer: “I know. I didn’t want bacon!”

Worker: “BLTs have bacon on them, ma’am.”

Customer: “No they don’t!”

Worker: “Perhaps you wanted the BMT instead?”


Worker:That has bacon on it.”


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Like A Spin Cycle, Round And Round

| | Right | June 21, 2008

Me: “Hello, welcome to PC support. How may I help?”

Customer: “Hello, I just bought this washing machine.”

Me: “Alright. You’ll have to call customer service. This is PC support. Call back on the same number you just dialed, select 2 in the first menu and then 3 in the second menu to get to customer service.”

Customer: “Okay, transfer me to customer service.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not able to do that. You will have to call back on the same number and select 2 in the first menu, 3 in the second.”

Customer: “Can you give me the number to customer service?”

Me: “It’s the same number you just called. Press 2 and then 3 in the menus.”

Customer: “What happens if I press 2 now?”

Me: “Well, I will get a beep in my ear and I dont like that. Please hang up and call back on the same number before pressing any keys.”

Customer: “Hrmf!” *hangs up*

(20 seconds later…)

Me: “Hello, welcome to PC support. How may I help?”

Customer: “Hello, I just bought this washing machine.”

Me: *sigh*

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While We’re At It, Here’s A Check For A Gazillion Bucks

, , , | Right | June 21, 2008

(My pizza place recently stopped accepting checks, due to a large number of returned checks. We have a large sign in the lobby, and a smaller sign at the register.)

Customer: “What?! I can’t write a check?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we no longer accept checks. We simply get too many returned for insufficient funds.”

Customer: “But I was going to write a check…”

Me: “We accept credit cards, or you can use your debit card for that checking account.”

Customer: “I can’t use my debit card! I don’t have enough money in my account!”

(And THAT is why we no longer take checks!)

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