Redial By Fire

| Franklin, TN, USA | Right | February 22, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I saw [doctor] last week, and was calling about my test results.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Oh, sorry.”

(Not 5 seconds later, the phone rings again.)

Caller: “I saw [doctor] last week and was calling about my test results.”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid you’ve dialed the wrong number again.”

Caller: “This isn’t [doctor’s] office?”

Me: “No, sir, this is a women’s clothing store.”

Caller: “Oh, sorry.”

(5 seconds later.)

Caller: “I saw [doctor] last week and was calling about my test results.”

Me: Sir, you’ve called [store] again.

Caller: “**** it! I’m calling the right number, why do you keep answering?”

Me: “Sir, the office number is very close to ours, so maybe when you’re dialing the numbers, you’ve been accidentally hitting a wrong key?”

Caller: “What numbers? I’ve been hitting redial!”

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Posthumous Post-modernism

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Right | February 21, 2010

Customer: “Can you help me find a book?”

Me: “Sure! What are you looking for?”

Customer: “It’s called The Scarlet Thread.”

Me: “I haven’t heard of that one. Let me look it up really quick.”

Customer: “It’s by Jane Austen if that helps.”

Me: “Um, I don’t think it is.”

Customer: “No, it’s by Jane Austen.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but I’m pretty sure Jane Austen never wrote a book called The Scarlet Thread.”

Customer: “Oh, well you probably haven’t heard of it because I think it’s one of her new books.”

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You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3

| Orlando, FL, USA | Right | February 21, 2010

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Can I speak to the butcher department, please?”

Me: “The butcher department?”

Customer: “Yeah, I decided I don’t want the big turkey any more.”

Me: “Uh, ma’am, this is the city morgue.”


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Those Who Definitely Can’t

| Santa Cruz, CA, USA | Right | February 20, 2010

Customer: “Hi, can you tell me about your Educator Appreciation Weekend?

Me: “Sure! Teachers normally get 20% off on things they buy for their classroom.”

Customer: “Okay, so how do I prove that I’m a teacher?”

Me: “Do you have a pay stub from your school?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you have a school ID?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you have a card from a teacher’s union?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you have a medical insurance card that shows that you’re on an educator plan?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Maybe a vision or dental insurance card?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you have a business card?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you have any letters from the school or district to you?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Is there a number I could call to verify your employment with a school?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you have anything, anything at all, with both your name on it, and the name of some kind of school or educational organization?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, I’m stumped. I can’t think of any other way that you could show that you’re a teacher.”

Customer: “Wow, you really don’t make this easy for us, do you?”

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Turn That Crown Upside Down

| Bellingham, WA, USA | Right | February 20, 2010

Me: “Do you have a Crown Club Card?”

Customer: “Crown Club? More like Clown Club! What a worthless program!”

Me: “Actually, if you had a Club Card today, you would get a
coupon for a small popcorn for $1.”

Customer: “Where do I sign up?”

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