They Don’t Have Faucets Where They’re From

| | Right | November 30, 2007

(We have people wash their hands when they have to take out or put in contact lenses. Only one knob works for the faucet so we removed the other knob)

Customer: “How do you turn this?” *grabs at the stump where the knob was removed*

Me: “You use the other one.”

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… And Elvis Has Left The Building!

| | Right | November 30, 2007

*phone rings*

Me: “Thank you for calling ***…”

Her: “Yes, I see in your ad this week that you have Happy Feet out.”

Me: “Yes, it’s out for the Playstation 2.”

Her: “That’s not the movie?”

Me: “No, it is not.”

Her: “When is it coming?”

Me: “It’s out in theaters right now. We have no date on when it is coming.”

Her: “Well is there anything that can show my grandkids how to do the dance?”

Me: “Not that I am aware of.”

Her: “Well I got this book for my grandkids and it shows the penguins….” *goes on for what feels like an HOUR about some book and teaching them some dance from the movie. I sorta doze on and off since her voice is very… shall I say….. monotone, flat, and boring. Finally…* “….. so the main reason why I’m calling.”

Me: (you mean to tell me all this was a SECONDARY reason why you called?) “Yes ma’am.”

Her: “Do you believe in Christ?”

Me: “Uuuhhhhh…..” *customer comes up with stackfull of DVDs* “I gotta go now. Bye.” *hangs up phone*

Source

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TMI (Too Much Information)

, , , | | Right | November 29, 2007

(I am working on the customer service desk and answer a call from a customer inquiring about a special order they had placed.)

Customer: “Yes, my name is [Customer]. The name of the DVD is Spring Break.”

(I put the customer’s details into the computer, and the search results say the full name of the DVD is “Spring Break Sex Riot” which also has an…. explicit cover on it. I assume that there must have been a mistake and the wrong title was ordered.)

Me: “Um… I think I found your order here on the system, but it hasn’t arrived in the store yet. I think there might be a mistake here. Could you give me some more details about the film?”

Customer: “Ah, man, you’re missing out! You have to see it! It’s about all these hot chicks who go on spring break and have lots of sex! It’s excellent!”

Me: *glad I have never been this desperate*

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You Can Lead A Horse To Water…

, , , | | Right | November 29, 2007

(A young man from Fullerton, CA calls to get our address in Rancho Cordova, CA.)

Caller: “Rancho Cordova? What coast is that on?”

Me: “We are in California, just like you.”

Caller: “Oh… So, East?”

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Californication

| | Right | November 28, 2007

Me: “Hello, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “Yes, but I don’t want to buy anything. I would just like to know if there are any restaurants here. ”

Me: “Yes, this is one. There are more elsewhere in the park. ”

Customer: “I mean, like a sit down restaurant.”

Me: “We have chairs and tables outside, and more to my left past the grill.”

Customer: “I mean where you come to me and ask ’em what I want so that I don’t have to get up. You know, a restaurant.”

Me: “I don’t know of any off the top of my head, but you can go ahead and ask other people that work here.”

Customer: “I’ll do that…”

(She walks off and I continue on helping people. 20 minutes later, she comes back)

Customer: “I couldn’t find any, are you sure there aren’t any?”

Me: “Pardon me, but this isn’t a huge super expensive theme park like Disney World or Disneyland. Are you from California by chance?”

Customer: “Yes, how did you know?”

Me: “I guessed.”

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