This Is Why We Don’t Color Code People

, , , | Right | May 1, 2009

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “No! I don’t want no g**d*** Chinese serving me.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Get me an American.”

Me: “Sir, I am American.”

Customer: “What?! You think I’m blind? You think I’m f***ing blind? Go back to China!”

Me: “Right, one second…”

(My coworkers hear everything from the back, so one of my white coworkers comes out.)

Customer: “Ugh, finally… an American!”

Coworker: *starts speaking Spanish*

Customer: “G**D*** IT! F*** Y’ALL, A**HOLES!” *storms out*

1 Thumbs
10,058
VOTES

Confuse ’em With Kindness

| | Right | April 30, 2009

(I am working as a cashier at a small farm stand and a man comes to purchase.)

Me: “Hello, how are you doing today?”

Customer: “I’m good. You?”

Me: “Very well, thank–”

Customer: “You d*** teenagers! None of you have any manners anymore! I swear, I have no idea–wait. What did you say again?”

Me: “Very well, thank you.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(I finish totalling his purchase, he pays.)

Me: “Thank you so very much, kind sir. I certainly hope you have the most wonderful day. Please come back soon, if you wish.”

Customer: *sheepishly* “… thanks…”

1 Thumbs
3,831
VOTES

Ah, Love/Hate Relationships

| | Right | April 30, 2009

(A woman and her boyfriend walk into the store and up to the cake showcase.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need a cake for my sister’s birthday. I want that one…” *points to the cake of her choice*

Me: “Would you like me to write anything on it?”

Customer: “Yeah, put ‘Happy Birthday, [sister’s name]’. No, wait… make that, ‘Happy Birthday, Slut’.”

Customer’s boyfriend: “Do you think you should put that on her birthday cake?”

Customer: “Yeah, why not? She a slut!”

Customer’s boyfriend: “Yeah, you right.”

Customer: *motions to me* “Go on, write that!”

(I go into the back to write “Happy Birthday, Slut,” and bring the cake back out.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s perfect! Thank you!”

Me: “… have a nice day, ma’am.”

1 Thumbs
3,770
VOTES

Burned With Goblets Of Fire, No Doubt

| | Right | April 30, 2009

(This happened quite a few years ago, but it’s still one of my fondest bookstore memories.)

Customer: “Do you happen to sell that Harry Potter book?”

Me: “Yes, sir, we do. Would you like me to show you where they are?”

Customer: “If it’s no trouble…”

Me: “No trouble at all. ”

(I lead him over to the children’s section and hand him the first book in the series.)

Me: “Here you are. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “No, I think that’s all I need.”

(The customer shovels a dozen copies of the same book into his arms.)

Customer: “The church is having a book burning tonight and I just need to make sure I bring enough.”

Me: *laughs*

Customer: *completely serious* “I’m not joking.”

Me: “Oh. Well, you do realize that there are now four books in the series?”

1 Thumbs
6,047
VOTES

For The Love Of God, Gestate

| | Right | April 30, 2009

Customer: “Hi, can I speak with [another employee] in the keyboards department?”

Me: “I’m afraid [another employee] is on maternity leave. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Well, when is she coming back?”

Me: “Realistically, in about a year.”

Customer: “Well, can she hurry it up!?”

Me: “She’s… having a baby.”

Customer: “I know that! Just tell her to hurry it up!” *hangs up*

1 Thumbs
2,188
VOTES
Page 4,324/4,676First...4,3224,3234,3244,3254,326...Last