Mrs. Understanding

| Ontario, Canada | Right | March 1, 2010

(A mother and daughter approach the till. The mother neatly places the items they want to take on the counter. The daughter throws an unwanted dress in a heap.)

Mother, to daughter: “No, no, no! You pick that up! You hang that on the hanger! YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND! Hang it up and put it away!”

(The daughter starts to hang it up.)

Mother: “You need to understand what it’s like working here! You need to get a job in retail so that you will understand! Everyone should work in retail! When we get home, you’re getting a job in retail!”

(The mother turns to me.)

Mother: “Don’t you think everyone should work here? Isn’t this a terrible job?”

Me: “How about food service?”

Mother: *gasps* “Yes! Yes!” *turns to daughter* “When we get home, you’re getting a job at a restaurant, so you will understand!”

1 Thumbs
4,743
VOTES

Brings New Meaning To Hot Food

| Irvine, CA, USA | Right | March 1, 2010

(My stall gives away free home-made fire starters made of small wood chips and wax. We have many signs stating this.)

Customer: “Hi. How much are these?”

Me: “Free, ma’am. Just giving them away to anyone who wants one.”

Customer: “Oh, okay!”

(She takes a big bite out of it.)

Customer: “These are disgusting! How could you give away such gross snacks?”

Me: “These aren’t actually snacks. They’re fire starters.”

Customer: “Not snacks? Then why do they have a sugar glaze on them, smart guy?”

Me: “That’s not a glaze, ma’am. It’s wax. It helps keep the fire starter going.”

Customer: “Not a snack?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Then why is the glaze brown? Brown means chocolate!”

Me: “Brown is just the color of the candle we melted.”

Customer: “Not a snack?”

(At this point I called over a colleague to set up a demonstration burning in the fire-pit. The woman watches amazed.)

Customer: “They start fires and they’re snacks! Holy s***!”

1 Thumbs
3,795
VOTES

Supervisor Is Super Wiser

| Texas, USA | Right | February 28, 2010

Me: “Thanks you for calling [company], how can I assist you today?”

Customer: “I want a supervisor.”

Me: “Is there any reason that you need the supervisor?”

Customer: “Just give me a supervisor!”

(I do the standard procedures to transfer to a supervisor. 3 minutes later, the same caller:

Customer: “What did the supervisor write in my account?”

(I saw the comments on the account, the supervisor wrote: “No more supervisor calls for this customer.”)

1 Thumbs
2,742
VOTES

Taxing Faxing, Part 4

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Right | February 28, 2010

Customer: “Yeah, hi, I just called earlier to have a report faxed. It hasn’t come through yet.”

Me: “I already sent that out to you, but I can send another copy if you’d like.”

Customer: “Hmm. You think it could be my end?”

Me: “Let’s check the basics. Have you received faxes earlier? Is it plugged in?””

Customer: “Oh, here’s the problem! The paper isn’t loaded!”

Me: “Okay! Fill it up and I’ll send it again.”

Customer: “Um, I don’t seem to have any paper here. Could you fax me some paper so I could load it with it before you fax the report?”

 

1 Thumbs
2,236
VOTES

Recruiting For New Blood

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Right | February 27, 2010

Donor: “I’ve never seen you here before.”

Me: “Well, yes, I am relatively new, but I’ve been involved with [blood bank] for a long time.”

Donor: “So, are you like a volunteer or something?”

Me: “No, I am an employee. I had to undergo several weeks of training for this.”

Donor: “But you look too young to be an employee!”

Me: “I assure you, I am a full employee.”

Donor: “But you’re only like 14!”

Me: “Actually sir, I’m 20, almost 21.”

Donor: “No way!”

Me: “Let me put it this way. Would you really want a 14 year old volunteer removing a 14 gauge needle from your arm and handling your blood?”

Donor: “Good point. Carry on.”

1 Thumbs
2,906
VOTES
Page 4,275/4,850First...4,2734,2744,2754,2764,277...Last