Must Be A Vegan

| | Right | December 2, 2007

(I was working at a Subway about a year ago)

Me: “Hi. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Let me see.” *looks at the menu* “A sub.”

Me: “What kind of sub do you want, ma’am?”

Customer: “I want provolone cheese?”

Me: “What kind of meat would you like?”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “What kind of meat?”

Customer: *agitated* “Are you being rude?”

*storms out and stands in front of the store for a few minutes telling people not to come in because of a rude employee*

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Lowest Common Denominator

| | Right | December 2, 2007

Customer: “I’d like a Chicken Kiev pizza, without chicken, garlic or sweetcorn. And throw some ham on there.”

Employee: “So, you want a ham pizza?”

Customer: “Yeah, why not.”

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God, I Love Lawyers

| | Right | December 1, 2007

Me: “Okay sir, so I would just need you to verify your information and sign here–”

*Patient cuts me off, snatches the clipboard and gives me this I’m-not-stupid look*

Male Patient: “Listen, I don’t need you to tell me what to do. I’m a lawyer and I know how the system works!” *Sits down and starts looking over the paper work*

(Five minutes later…)

Male Patient: “Ma’am, where did you need me to sign??”

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Sure, We Have A Cow Out Back (Part 2)

| | Right | December 1, 2007

Customer: “Um…yes, are you guys going to put out more skim milk?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but we’re all out of white milk, both skim and 2%. All we have left is chocolate.”

Customer: “Completely out?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we’re completely out.”

Customer: “Oh, well. Do you think you could make some more?”

Me: “Are you serious?!”


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All That For Nothing

, | | Right | November 30, 2007

Me: “Hi, welcome to *****. Can I help you?”

Me: “Yes please, you sell doonoo?”

Me: “I’m sorry? Do we sell what?”

Me: *points at menu board* “You know, noots!”

Me: *looks up to where he’s pointing which is a picture of some bagels* “Bagels?”

Me: “No! Noots! Doonoots!”

(This went on for several minutes, both of us getting more and more frustrated until…)

Me: “Wait, are you saying nuts?”

Me: “Yes, yes!”

Me: “We have peanuts for our ice cream sundaes.”

Me: “No, no, no. DOOnoots!”

Me: *with a huge smile of understanding* “You mean doughnuts?!”

Me: “Yes!!”

(Keep in mind we had been working on this for a good five minutes. He now looks so excited that what I say next nearly breaks my heart.)

Me: “No, I’m sorry. We don’t sell doughnuts.”

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