One Adapter To Plug Them All

, | | Right | January 18, 2010

Me: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need an adapter.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, what kind of adapter?”

Customer: “You mean there’s more than one?”

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Stupidity Is Its Own Reward

| | Right | January 18, 2010

Me: “Do you have your rewards card with you, sir?”

Customer: “Uh, no, I don’t. Do I not get a discount?”

Me: “Of course you still can! What’s your phone number?”

Customer: “How old are you?”

Me: “Seventeen.”

Customer: “You’re not even legal! I can’t do that.”

Me: “Uh, no, sir. I need it to look up for your discount.”

Customer: “Oh…” *tells me his phone number* “…but don’t call me after 5. That’s when my wife gets home.”

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Serious Lack Of Lumber-standing

| | Right | January 15, 2010

(A woman comes into my shop to buy some skirting board for her house. After a good long while of her calling home to find out the measurements of what she needs, I give her the price.)

Customer: “How long will it take?”

Me: “About a week and a half. It has to be made specially in our factory.”

Customer: “Well, that’s no good. I have to collect the children from school in a hour!”

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Gives New Meaning To ‘Manually Eject’

| | Right | January 15, 2010

(An couple in their 50s enter the store with a laptop.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

Husband: “Well, my laptop won’t turn on. It just goes to a black screen.”

Me: “Okay, sir, we can have the technicians do a diagnostic to figure out what the problem is.”

Husband: “I also think I might have left a disc in the DVD drive.”

Me: “Oh, no problem. I’ll show you how to manually eject the disc before you leave so you can take it home.”

(I grab a paperclip and manually eject the disc. The disc in the drive is a porn DVD. Immediately, the husband snatches it out of the tray and stuffs it into his pocket.)

Husband: *mumbles* “That’s not the disc I thought it was.”

Wife: *silently fuming*

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Famous Ignoramus

| | Right | January 15, 2010

Me: “Hello, sir, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you have those books in that series?”

Me: “Which series is that?”

Customer: “You know, the one by that famous author.”

Me: “There are lots of famous authors, sir. Do you know what one of the books was called?

Customer: “I want the third book in the series by that famous author!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but without more information, I don’t know which book you’re after.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! How could you not know the ones I’m talking about? They’re FAMOUS!”

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