Stripped Of Your Cash

| Right | August 22, 2011

(The cardholder sounds very very drunk.)

Caller: “Why did you let the card take out $5,000?”

Me: “It shows that you did an ATM withdrawal for $5,000 in Las Vegas, NV. Was this you?”

Caller: “No! It was the stripper she took it. She took it! Why did you let her take it?”

Me: “Your card was stolen by a stripper?”

Caller: “No, no, no! Why aren’t you listening to me?”

Me: “Sir, I don’t understand. What happened?”

Caller: “I wanted a lap dance. So, I gave the stripper my card and PIN number to get money.”

Me: “You gave her your card and PIN and told her to get $5000?”

Caller: “No! Why aren’t you listening to me? I told the stripper to get $300 for my lap dance.”

Me: “So, she took too much money?”

Caller: “Why did you let her? When is she coming back? I want my lap dance.”

(This goes on for a little while with the caller slurring his speech and stuttering.)

Caller: “Why won’t you help me?”

Me: “What would you like me to do?”

Caller: “Fine! Don’t help me. I’ll go back to the tables and win back my fortune!”

1 Thumbs
1,907

Unlimited Cluelessness Plan

| Right | August 22, 2011

(A woman comes storming through the doors. She blasts by other customers who are waiting in line and slams her phone onto the counter.)

Me: “Is there something I can–”

Customer: “This phone you sold me is a piece of s***!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. What exactly is wrong with it?”

Customer: “It doesn’t work! I can’t get any calls on it!”

Me: “Let me take a look.”

(I pick up the phone and begin to examine it as the woman continues to rant and rave.)

Customer: “I paid a ridiculous amount of money for this thing! I can’t believe you would charge me so much for something that doesn’t even work! What is the world coming to? Have you no shame? Do you do this to all your customers?”

Me: “I think I see the problem, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes? And?”

Me: “This is a TV remote.”

(All the other customers are watching, dead silent.)

Customer: *mutters* “I…I think I must have…grabbed the wrong…”

(She snatches her remote and flees the store. As soon as she disappears, the entire store bursts into laughter.)

1 Thumbs
4,219

Does Your Sandwich Measure Up

| Right | August 22, 2011

(I am a 19 year old female worker in a sub shop. A 20-something customer comes in with his girlfriend.)

Customer: “So, you work at [sandwich shop]?”

Me: “Yea? Why?”

Customer: “So, you know how to handle a foot long eh?”

Me: “Yes, yes I do.”

Customer: “Oh, good, so you can handle me, eh?”

Me: *playing along* “I doubt you’re a footlong but, yeah, I guess.”

Customer’s girlfriend, to customer: “See! Even she knows you have a huge ego.”

(His girlfriend goes on to order a 6 inch sub. I make it and hand it to her.)

Customer’s girlfriend, to customer: “Well, this is more like it, eh, babe?”

1 Thumbs
2,413

Not Always Right: Windows Phone 7 App

| Right | August 22, 2011

Introducing Not Always Right’s Official Windows Phone 7 App!

Easily view, share, and save all of the hilarious stories on your phone with the official app. You can even submit your own stories right from the app!

Features:
* Top stories – as voted by users just like you
* Recent stories – daily posts, straight from the site
* Random stories – practically infinite entertainment
* Related stories – find and read other stories related by workplace and situation
* Saved stories – easily save your favorites stories for offline viewing
* Submit – upload your own stories right from the app
* Share – send stories to friends, family, and coworkers via email

Get your app today!

No Bar And No Bite, Part 2

| Right | August 21, 2011

(It’s our company policy to not give refunds. It’s stated at all the till points, on receipts, and if a customer asks, we tell them the exact policy. It’s fairly known and it’s also been in effect for years. I’m also studying to be a barrister while working at this store part-time.)

Customer: “I’d like to get my money back on this.”

Me: “I’m afraid it’s our policy not to give refunds.”

Customer: “That’s illegal.”

Me: “It’s actually well within the law.”

Customer: “It’s not. I’m a barrister…I should know!”

Me: “Really? What firm are you with? I’m actually after getting a bit of work experience in law.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve not technically passed the bar yet.”

Me: “So you’re not a barrister then?”

Customer: *goes red* “Just give me a gift card then.”

 

1 Thumbs
1,462