Not Quite Catching On

Right | October 26, 2010

(This was back when the movie "Catch Me If You Can" came out. The movie poster has two large blue arrows pointing in different directions.  A man buys a ticket and goes down the hallway to the theater. We see him again, walking the other way and looking angry. Finally, he comes up to the counter.)

Me: "May I help you, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, where are you showing this movie?" *waves
the ticket in my face*

Me: "Just down that hallway, sir…the second door."

Customer: "Don’t give me that! I followed the arrows on the poster, and they led me to the bathroom and then a closet!"

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Eating Disorderly

| Right | October 26, 2010

(A customer has just purchased some tickets and they’ve just been given their tickets.)

Customer: “Oh, before I go…if I eat my ticket, can you replace it?”

Me: “Uh, eat…your ticket?”

Customer: “Yes, I eat things, I can’t help myself.”

Me: “If you eat your ticket, then keep your receipt and we’ll be happy to replace your ticket.”

Customer: “Oh, okay thanks!”

(The customer walks away and then pauses and comes back to the ticket desk.)

Customer: “What if I eat my receipt and my ticket?”

Me: “Please don’t.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks!”

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Articulated Truck Drivers Aren’t Articulate

| Right | October 25, 2010

(A truck driver walks up to desk and stares at wall behind me.)

Me: “Can…I help you?”

Driver: “Yeaaaaa…” *waits ten seconds, looks behind him, looks back at me, waits another 5 seconds* “I don’t have my shipment numbers.”

Me: “Well, where are they?”

Driver: “They’re in the truck.”

Me: “They’re in the truck?”

Driver: “Yup.”

Me: “So you left the truck with the numbers inside, walked all the way through the property, and up to my desk to tell me you left the numbers in the truck?”

Driver: “Yeaaaaaaa.” *stares at the wall again*

Me: “You want to go get them?”

Driver: “Get what?”

Me: “Are you filming this?”

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If Only They Ran On Hot Air

| Right | October 25, 2010

Customer: “I’d like to ask someone about my watches. It’s not working right. I think it’s broken.”

Me: “Oh. Yes, the second hand doesn’t seem to be moving much. The battery is probably dying.”

Customer: “But my husband bought this for me!”

Me: “Well, we don’t sell batteries here, but I–”

Customer: “He just bought it here!”

Me: “Do you see another one like it in the display?”

Customer: “No! But I’ve only been wearing it for a month or two!”

Me: “It does look like it’s the battery because the hands are still moving, just not moving on time. It would be unusual for our batteries to die that soon. Do you have the original receipt?

Customer: “Why would I have that? He bought it 3 or 4 years ago!

Me: “Oh. If he bought the watch 3 or 4 years ago, then it probably is the battery.”

Customer: “But I’ve only been wearing it for a month or two!”

Me: “If it was purchased several years ago, the battery has been running for several years.”

Customer: “But why would it run when I’m not wearing it?!”

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Emergency Disservice

| Right | October 25, 2010

(I am a Community Assistant. When a resident has a problem with their apartment they have to call the CA Duty phone. However, today is labor day and it’s my day off.)

Resident: “I have a emergency at my apartment!”

Me: “How can I help you sir?”

Resident: “There was a bee’s nest in my roof, but now the bees have come through a crack in the ceiling! My apartment is full of bees!”

Me: “Sir, I would recommend that you call some sort of animal services, but I can’t help you.”

Resident: “Well, why not? Doesn’t the apartment have some sort of procedure for this type of situation?”

Me: “Well, it’s Labor Day and my day off. Plus, you’re supposed to call me for maintenance issues, not insects.”

Resident: “You can’t take the day off! What if there was a medical emergency on a holiday!”

Me: “Then I hope you would call 911.”

Resident: “Don’t they have the day off, too?”

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