Waste Not, Want Not, Part 2

, | Right | August 29, 2011

(It’s about two hours before closing and I’m cleaning up our breakfast area, which includes two rotating ovens that often have burnt bagels sitting in the back of them. A customer comes over after I’ve thrown the remaining ones in the trash. Keep in mind it’s late at night.)

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m cleaning up the bagels for the night. I can’t believe the amount of bagels people leave here sometimes.”

(The customer points at one of the more badly burnt bagels in the trash.)

Customer: “That’s mine.”

Me: *jokingly* “I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t suppose you still want it, do you?”

Customer: “Yes, I do.” *takes it out of the trash and walks off*

 

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Not For The Intellectually Handicapped

| Right | August 29, 2011

Customer: “When I went, they wouldn’t let me park in the handicap spot because I didn’t have a tag.”

Me: “Well, are you handicapped?”

Customer: “No. I shared the price of the spot with my brother who is handicapped.”

Me: “Then you can’t park there.”

Customer: “But I paid for it!”

Me: “Miss, the police are really cracking down on this. If you park there and are not handicapped, they will ticket and tow your car resulting in fees up to or over $1,000.”

Customer: “But I paid for it!”

Me: “You can’t park there. You’re not handicapped. It doesn’t matter if you paid for it. If you’re not handicapped, then you cannot park in a handicapped spot.”

Customer: “That is so useless!”

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(Bodily) Equipment Malfunctions

| Right | August 29, 2011

(The modems we supply customers with have a light that has “PPP” written next to it. Customers often call up when their internet is down and tell us that their PPP light is off.)

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [ISP]. How may I assist you?”

Customer: *distressed* “My PP is not working!”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Something is wrong with my PP!”

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Conveniently Ambiguous

| Right | August 28, 2011

(The store I work at has an unfortunate name that, although not intended, sounds very “adult”.)

Me: “We go all out at [store]! How may I help you?”

Caller: *sounding concerned* “Yes, hello. I was just looking over my husband’s credit card bill and I saw a charge to [store] from a few months back. I was wondering…what kind of a business are you?”

Me: “We are a convenience store, ma’am.”

Caller: “Oh, good, thank you! You have a fantastic day now.”

Man, in the background of the call: “I told you!”

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Role-play In Everyday Life

| Right | August 28, 2011

(I am working as a cashier when a customer comes up with a lot of school supplies.)

Me: “Let me guess, you’re a teacher, right?”

Customer #1: “Guilty as charged.”

(We start talking about teaching as I’m bagging her merchandise. Another customer starts unloading her cart onto my conveyor.)

Customer #2: “Hey! Can you guess what I am?”

(I take a look at her items. They are all fresh produce, fruits, and veggies.)

Me: “I…uh…”

Customer #2: “I’M A RABBIT!”

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