Homeless Meets Thoughtless

| Dalton, GA, USA | Right | May 30, 2010

(A woman comes up to me while I’m taking down the dried out, bad corn from the display.)

Customer: "You just throw those away?"

Me: "Yep, we have to throw out the bad ones."

Customer: "You mean they don’t donate it to the poor or anything?"

Me: "Well, no. Our store does donate to the unfortunate, but it’s usually money or fresh product."

Customer: "But poor people are used to eating bad food! They eat out of the trash all the time! You don’t have to give them good food!"

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Indoor Trees Are An Absolute Debarkle

| Saint Louis, MO, USA | Right | May 29, 2010

(I am working in the garden shop. Note that we’re experiencing 60 mph winds.)

Customer: "You people really have a problem out here!"

Me: "I’m sorry sir, what seems to be the issue?"

Customer: "You have trees blowing over all over the place!"

Me: "I do apologize. We have been trying to contain them, but mother nature is winning."

Customer: "Screw your mother nature! Just take them inside. It’s where they belong anyway!"

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Pause For (Lack Of) Thought

, | Waukesha, WI, USA | Right | May 29, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Fast Food Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yea, I’m calling about the nuts you put in my son’s ice cream.”

Me: “Um, sir, we don’t sell ice cream here.”

Caller: “Yeah, you did. I came in last night.”

Me: “Sir, this is [Fast Food Restaurant]. We don’t serve ice cream here.”

Caller: “Yeah, you do. For 49 cents. And you put nuts in my son’s ice cream! I’d like to speak to your manager!”

Me: “You’re speaking to her.”

Caller: “Oh, and you said you don’t serve ice cream here?”

Me: “No sir, we don’t. I think you needed the number for [other restaurant] across the street.”

Caller: You own both the restaurants?

Me: “No sir, we don’t. We’re just us.”

Caller: *long pause* “So what kind of desserts do you sell there?”

Me: “Cinnamon Twists.”

Caller: “I hate those things. What else you got?”

Me: “Cinnamon Twists. That’s it.”

Caller: “I heard you say that! What else do you have?”

Me: “That’s it.”

Caller: *longer pause* “Well, can you concoct something for me if I came in?”

Me: “No, sir, we can’t do that.”

Caller: “Oh…”

Me: “Was there anything else you needed help with?”

Caller: “No. Just to clarify, you don’t sell ice cream?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Caller: *long pause* “You should probably hang up now.”

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Yukon Not Spend It

| Alberta, Canada | Right | May 28, 2010

Customer: “Why is my credit card being denied?”

Me: “Is it an American credit card?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m from Texas and I’m traveling to Alaska.”

Me: “Credit card companies sometimes block purchases made in other countries if they don’t know you’re traveling.”

Customer: “But I’m not in another country.”

Me: “This is Canada, sir.”

Customer: “But it’s on the way to Alaska.”

Me: “I know sir, but it’s still another country, so you probably need to call your credit card company.”

Customer: “What stupid country is this?!”

Me: “Actually sir, it would happen with any country you travel to because it’s a safety feature for your own security.”

Customer: “Well, if Canada wasn’t in the way of Alaska, this wouldn’t be a problem!”

 

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A Poser By Any Other Name

| Crystal River, FL, USA | Right | May 28, 2010

Customer: "Excuse me…how much is this?"

Me: "$24.99."

Customer: "But the sign says it’s $19.99! Ha! So you have to give it to me for that!”

Me: "Ma’am, the sign says $19.99 and up."

Customer: "But it’s the law!”

Me: "Ma’am, I assure you, it is $24.99."

Customer: "Well, I’m a lawyer, and it’s the law!"

Me: "You’re not a lawyer, are you?"

Customer: "No. How did you know that?"

Me: "There is no such law."

Customer: “You’re too smart. I just thought I’d try to scare you into changing the price."

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