Ah, Fathers, Part 2

, | | Right | July 16, 2008

(I’m working in an electronics retail store, and see a man in his late 40s with a kid no older then 10.)

Me: “Welcome, sir, did you get…”

(I look in his cart and see that it’s mostly filled with identical Spongebob DVDs.)

Me: “… everything?”

Man: “I guess so.”

Boy: “MORE SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!”

Man: “All right, let’s go get some more.”

(About 5 minutes later he comes back, with more Spongebob DVDs… the same ones, to be exact.)

Man: “All right, I think this is enough.”

(I ring him up, and the total comes to about $550.00 USD.)

Me: *whispering* “Uhh, sir… these are mostly the same thing.”

Man: “Oh, don’t worry about it. I hate my life anyway.”

 

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Honey, He Ain’t A Scrapbooking Project

| | Right | July 16, 2008

(I witnessed this on the hospital floor where I work. A patient’s daughter comes out of a hospital room and stands in the hallway, staring around looking lost.)

Nurse’s aide: “Can I help you?”

Daughter: “Yeah… can I have a stapler?”

(The nurse’s aide walks about two steps away to get a stapler and then thinks better of this request.)

Nurse’s aide: “Why do you want a stapler?”

Daughter: “My dad’s IV tubing is getting in his way. I thought it would be better if we stapled it to his arm.”

Nurse’s aide: “Um, I think tape would work better for that.”

Daughter: “You guys have tape here?”

Nurse’s aide: “Yeah, I have some here in my pocket.”

(The aide walks into the room to secure the IV tubing before any more of his genius children try to help.)

Daughter: *muttering* “I still think a stapler is a better idea…”

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DualShock Depreciation

, | | Right | July 15, 2008

(This is during Christmas time 2001 and a lot of people came in for stocking stuffers and such. I’m stocking some generic potato chips and an old woman approaches me. Keep in mind, this is a DOLLAR STORE.)

Old Woman: “Excuse me…”

Me: “Hello, may I help you find something?”

Old Woman: “Yes, do you folks have Playstation 2s?”

Me: “Uh… no, ma’am. I’m sorry, we don’t.”

Old Woman: “Oh, well, they were out of ’em at [chain electronics store], so I thought you folks might have ’em.”

Me: “Well, we carry mostly overstock. Besides, PlayStation 2’s are worth far more than just one dollar so I’m pretty sure we’ll never carry them…”

Old Woman: “What about after Christmas?”

Me: “Yeah, I don’t think so.”

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Oh Sweet Irony, How Thou Dost Tease Me

| | Right | July 15, 2008

(I am a booth girl at a car wash: I tell customers about our products, mark their choice, and give them a ticket. There is a giant 4′ by 2′ sign on my booth that lists everything in detail.)

Me: “Hi, can I suggest our Premier package today?”

Customer: “How much does it cost?”

Me: *motions towards board* “$16.95.”

Customer: “What comes with it?”

Me: *motions to board again, listing options*

Customer: “What’s the difference between that and the number 2?”

Me: *motions third time, lists options*

Customer: “What about he number 2 and number 1? Does number 3 come with the clean car guarantee? Is there an oversize charge for my Denali?”

(ALL of this is listed in huge letters right in front of her face. She finally makes a decision.)

Customer: “I’ll take the number 3, but I don’t want any wax.”

Me: “No problem, I’ll mark your window to let them know to skip the wax.”

Customer: “I sure hope they read!”

Me: *ultimate facepalm*

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The Good, The Bad, And The Single Minded

| | Right | July 15, 2008

(A non-profit organization had asked our company to write a proposal for a web site design. I presented our proposal to a group of about 15 people, including the president of the organization.)

Me: “When you want to add a new page to the web site, you can type it here. If you want, the system can send new content to someone in your organization for review before it goes live.”

Client: “Can you give me an example of when we would do this?”

Me: “Well if you want, you can have your legal people review the new text before it goes up on the site, so, you know… you don’t get sued because of–”

President: “Sued?! Who’s suing us? I don’t want to get sued!”

Me: “No, I’m just saying your legal people could review any changes to the site–”

President: “This guy is telling me we could be sued! I don’t like this!”

Me: “No, it’s so you WOULDN’T be sued. But that’s just an example. It’s just if someone wants to read the content before–”

President: “I do not like the sound of this at all.”

(We didn’t get the job.)

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