Saw The Wrong Dust

| London, UK | Right | March 16, 2010

Customer: “Is this movie one of those violent ones?”

(Customer shows me a copy of ‘Stardust’.)

Me: “No sir, that’s a family fantasy movie.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I thought Sawdust was violent and gory?”

Me: “Sir you’re think of the ‘Saw’ movies. You have a copy of ‘Stardust’, which is completely different.”

Customer: “I was looking for something really disturbing and violent.”

Me: “Well ‘Stardust’ has a scene with Robert De Niro in a dress doing the can-can.”

(Customer mulls this over for a few seconds.)

Customer: “I think you’d better show me where those ‘Saw’ movies are.”

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The Dolly Llama’s New Groove

| New York, NY, USA | Right | March 15, 2010

(As I am organizing books on a display, I overhear this exchange.)

Customer 1: *pointing at a copy of “The Path to Tranquility”* “Ooh, look! That’s the Dalai Lama! I saw him once!”

Customer 2: “You saw him?”

Customer 1: “Yeah! He was in Florida doing a thing! I saw him out walking with all his little llamas.”

Customer 2: “Um, little LLAMAS?”

Customer 1: “Or dollies, whatever!”

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No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 2

| Boston, MA, USA | Right | March 15, 2010

Customer: “Hi, you guys were supposed to send me an email, and I haven’t gotten it yet.”

Me: “Okay, I see we sent that email at 3:05 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Can you confirm your email address is [email address]?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s it. What time did you send it?”

Me: “3:05 p.m. Eastern Time.”

Customer: “Oh, okay that’s why. I’m in Central Time, so it’ll take an hour to get here. Thanks!”

 

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More Than Mildly Confused

| Ontario, Canada | Right | March 15, 2010

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to buy some sausages.”

Me: “Okay. We have about 15 different kinds, so which would you like?

Customer: “What’s the difference between the mild, medium, and hot?”

Me: “You mean in the price?”

Customer: “No, in flavor.”

Me: “One is mild, one is medium, and one is hot.”

Customer: “So, which is the hottest?”

Me: “The hot.”

Customer: “…and the mild is hotter than medium?”

Me: “No. The mild is the least hot, the medium is a bit hotter than that, and the hot has the most pepper.”

Customer: “So the mild is mild?”

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Random Encounters

| Bay Area, CA, USA | Right | March 15, 2010

(A girl orders a cheeseburger and fries.)

Me: “All right, you want that for here or to go?”

(There is a long pause as she very loudly ‘hmms’ and ‘haws’ about this question, until finally:)

Customer: “…sweatshirts.”

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