The Return Of Captain Obvious

, | | Right | November 21, 2007

Customer in an ice cream shop: “What’s in the Chocolate Caramel Cashew?”

Me: “There’s really no way for me to answer that without sounding like a smarta**.”

Customer: “Why? What’s in it?”

Me: “It’s chocolate ice cream … with caramel … and cashews.”

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Why Asking Why Is A Bad Idea

, | | Right | November 20, 2007

Customer: “Oh, and could I also get a glass of milk?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell milk.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, let’s see, I could make up a reason involving the phrase ‘health codes,’ I could act dumb and just get the manager, or I could just be a total jerk about it, but at the end of the day, you’re still not gonna get a glass of milk, so how about we just skip that whole thing?”

Customer: “…okay.”

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Shhhh, They’re Listening Right Now!

| | Right | November 20, 2007

Me: “**** University, how my I help you?”

Phone client: “What is this about you recording my call? Are you guys working for CSIS (Canadian Security Intelligence Service)?”

Me: “No sir, we record some calls in order to ensure the quality of our service. What can I do for you today?”

Phone client: “Are you recording my call right now?”

Me: “I don’t know sir. Management records call randomly.”

*Hangs up*

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The Lost And Dumbfounded

, , | | Right | November 19, 2007

Customer in the drive-thru: “Hi, I’d like a BK Veggie.”

Me: “Sir, you’re at Hardee’s, not Burger King. We don’t have any vegetarian entrees.”

Customer in the drive-thru: “Oh, okay. Thanks anyway.”

(Customer sat there for a few minutes before driving away.)

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Jeff Foxworthy Would Be Proud

, , | | Right | November 19, 2007

Customer: “Two tickets for Madagascar.”

(After the previews, he returns.)

Customer: “I want my money back!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “You have the wrong movie playing in there. It’s a cartoon. Where’s the cars?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, cars?”

Customer: “NASCAR! I wanted to see Mad about NASCAR!!”

Me: “Let me get the manager…”

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