One Tag To Name Them All, And In The Darkness Find Them

| Greenfield, MA, USA | Right | October 9, 2010

(I work at a fast food restaurant and after work, I go to the grocery store still in uniform to pick up dinner.)

Customer: “Hello, can you tell me where the [item] is?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but I don’t work here. I work across the street at [restaurant].” *I point to my hat with the company logo*

Customer: “Why are you pointing at your hat? I don’t understand. Are you going to take me to the [item] or not?”

Me: “I’m really very sorry, but I don’t work here. I can’t help you.”

Customer: “But you have a name tag!”

 

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Pills For Thrills Don’t Work On Tills

| South Carolina, USA | Right | October 9, 2010

(A customer comes up to the register angry and acting pretty drunk.)

Customer: “I bought this purse from you guys, and whenever I go to a store the alarm goes off! You need to fix it!”

Me: “Ma’am, we’ve removed the sensor when you purchased it. You should be fine. It must be something inside your purse.”

Customer: “No! It’s the purse! D*** fix it!”

Me: “Ma’am, you really need to calm down. Our door alarm didn’t go off when you entered the store.”

Customer: “That’s because it only happens at other stores!”

Me: “Well, the only other option is to take your purse apart. I don’t think you want to do that. Are you sure you don’t have any prescription drugs or CDs in there? Those can sometimes trigger the alarm.”

Customer: “I have pills, but they’re not exactly prescription.”

*awkward silence before the customer realizes what they have said*

Customer: “F**k you. I’m not going to jail for this!” *storms out*

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Bride Denied

| Iowa City, IA, USA | Right | October 8, 2010

(Two women walk in.)

Me: “Hi how can I help you?”

Customer: “We’d like to return this dinnerware set. It comes from a registry so here that is also.”

Me: “Okay. Is there anything wrong with it?”

Customer: “No, we just decided we didn’t like the bride that much.”

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Getting Landlines Tangled

| Ireland | Right | October 8, 2010

(I call the customer.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, this is [me], may I please speak to [customer]?”

Customer: “Yes, speaking.”

Me: “I am calling from [company name]. There is a slight issue with your account. Do you have a moment to discuss this issue now?”

*long pause*

Customer: “Hello? Hello?! Sorry, I have terrible reception here.”

Me: “Sir, I am speaking to you on your home phone.”

Customer: “What?!” *hangs up*

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Stretched Pennies Stretch The Budget

| North Carolina, USA | Right | October 8, 2010

(I work at the food court at a zoo. After one customer gives an order, their total comes to $10.26. They fish out a 10 dollar bill and a quarter, and continue to look for a penny.)

Me: “Oh, that’ll be fine.”

Customer: “You sure? I know I have a penny in here somewhere, I’d rather just give you that.”

Me: “Oh, okay then.”

(The customer pulls out a penny that has been in a Press A Penny machine, machines that we have around the zoo that flatten, shape, and add an animal imprint design to pennies.)

Customer: “Here you are.”

Me: “Well thank you, but you realize you can’t use this penny, right?”

Customer: “What? Why not?”

Me: “It’s not valid anymore. But really, it’s fine if you’re one cent short.”

Customer: “It’s not about that! It’s about why you’re all too good for my money!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll take it, but it’s not–”

Customer: “Is it because I’m [ethnicity]?”

Me: “No, ma’am!”

Customer: “Then tell me what it is! The real reason!”

Me: “Um…” *I look at the penny* “Oh! Yeah, this penny is valid. Sorry, I mistook it for something, uh, else.”

Customer: “Thank you!” *walking off* “Some people these days!”

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