Power Struggle

| | Right | January 12, 2010

(A customer calls in complaining how his service is out.)

Me: “Are there lights on your modem?

Caller: “No.”

Me: “Can you check to see if the power cable is plugged in, or the power turned on?”

Caller: “I am standing knee-deep in water and you want me to check for a power cable?!”

(It turns out he had been calling from an area that had been hit by a hurricane.)

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Elementary, My Dear Mr Darcy

| | Right | January 11, 2010

Customer:“I want a refund! Sherlock Holmes was possibly the worst film adaptation of a Jane Austin book I’ve ever seen!”

Me:Sherlock Holmes was not written by Jane Austen. It was written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.”

Customer:“I thought there was something odd about it. Well, I guess it really is nothing at all like her other books. Silly me!”

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Just Plane Unreasonable

| | Right | January 11, 2010

Me: “Hi, this is [airline] calling to inform you that your flight as been canceled for tomorrow. I’m sorry to tell you that the next available flight we have is Monday.”

Customer: “What! How can that be? Why are you just now canceling the flight?”

Me: “Well, sir, due to the weather disruptions, we had to cancel your flight for the safety of the passengers and crew.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. You should have canceled this flight back in September!”

Me: “Sir, we didn’t know the weather would be bad in September.”

Customer: “I demand you send me your private plane to take me to Fort Lauderdale immediately!”

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How About Some Dessert Instead

| | Right | January 11, 2010

(I have a table of four foreign business-men. One of them looks very sad.)

Sad customer: “And also, you bring me tea because this country is very cold and I am sick.”

Me: “I’m sorry you’re not well. Of course I’ll bring you some tea.”

Sad customer: “…and then you marry me, because no-one will marry me.”

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

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Obviously Dog People

| | Right | January 11, 2010

(I’m partway through a phone conversation with a client.)

Me: “Okay, and how many people live in your house?”

Client: “Me, my wife, and our two dogs.

Me: *laughs* “Alright then, sir, so it’s two people, yes?”

Client: “…and my two dogs.”

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