As the admin at my company, it’s my job to do the monthly expense reporting. A coworker stops in my office one morning to talk about a trip they’re taking. 

Coworker: “Okay, this is weird. I have two options for this flight back home from [City]. Option one: a direct flight from [City] to [Home] is about $600. Option two: a direct flight from [City] with a layover in [Home] and then going to [Other City] is about $450.”

Me: “…what?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I have no idea, either. Take the cheaper one?”

Me: “Uh, are you checking any bags or anything?”

Coworker: “Nope, just taking a backpack.”

Me: “Are the planes different?”

Coworker: “Nope, same plane.”

Me: *Pauses* “Take the cheaper option, then. Just… oops, you’re not going to [Other City], and you’re saving the company money?”

Coworker: “That’s what I figured. Thanks! I’ll send you the receipt as soon as I get it.”

If you’re wondering, the trip went fine.

A mother is checking out, and her little girl, maybe three years old, is toddling about touching everything she finds interesting.

Mom: “Don’t touch that display, [Girl]. You’ll knock it over and ruin it.”

The little girl waddles over to me instead and beams a huge smile up at me.

Little Toddler: “Mommy has a vagina!”

Me: “Uh…”

Little Toddler: “Mommy said I crawled out of it and ruined it!” 

Mom: *Sighing, to me* “That’s not the only thing she’s ruining.”

I’m waiting in line to pick up a prescription. There are two women in front of me being served.

Mother: *Eyeing the large paper bag that is handed to her daughter.* “Why do you need all that?”

Daughter: “Like I said last month, [Son] needs it for [condition]. He inherited it from his father.”

Mother: “He doesn’t need that. I’ve told you; they need to go to church more. Jesus heals all who come to him.”

The daughter then picks up the bag that the mother just received.

Daughter: “Oh? Well, I guess you won’t need your insulin.”

The daughter then walks off. The mother is standing there dumbfounded before running after her.

Me: *To the pharmacist.* “That was… odd.” 

Pharmacist: “They do it every month. Rumour is the mother was a smackhead in the 60s and her memory is totally butchered. Given it’s been like a year now, I’m starting to believe it.”

We are a small, independent store, and the owner is conscious of the environment. As a result, we have switched entirely to paper bags. They are good quality and can handle heavy groceries, and most importantly, we don’t charge any more for them than we did for the plastic bags.

Customer: “It’s so cool that you’ve done away with the plastic. I love shopping here for that.” 

Me: “Yes, it’s certainly better for the environment.” 

The customer behind my current customer in line sneers and scoffs.

Other Customer: “All that climate change bulls*** is just big corporations trying to make money by making you use paper bags that will dissolve.”

Me: “You’re welcome to bring in your own plastic bags to carry your groceries, sir.”

Other Customer: “I’m just saying, climate change isn’t real.” 

Customer: “Chill, dude.”

Other Customer: “What? There’s no real science to prove climate change, and these paper bags are expensive. Coincidence?” 

Customer: “I wasn’t looking for a debate. I was just saying I like the paper bags.”

Other Customer: “I’m just playing devil’s advocate!”

Customer: “It’s not devil’s advocate if you’re just a moron.” 

Mr. Climate Change Denier was blissfully silent (albeit glaring) for the rest of his time in the line.

I started working in a music and recording studio a few months ago. We’re working on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and the boss, an older white gentleman, brings in fried chicken, grape juice, and watermelon for everyone.

I am a white guy, and most of my coworkers are Black (we’re close to a historically Black neighborhood), so I feel compelled to ask a Black coworker:

Me: “Isn’t this… uh… kinda…”

Coworker: “Racially stereotyping African Americans?”

Me: “Uh… yeah?”

Coworker: “Yeah, someone told [Boss] years ago as a joke that to celebrate today, we Black folk eat fried chicken and watermelon and drink grape juice.”

Me: “Wow, and he believed them?”

Coworker: “I mean, he had no reason not to.”

Me: “And no one has told him otherwise?”

Coworker: *Grabbing a plate* “And risk our free fried chicken?!”