Yukon See It On A Map

| | Right | September 11, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling ***. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Hi, I want to apply for your program.”

Me: “Okay. Actually, I noticed on the Caller ID that you‚Äôre calling from New York. Unfortunately, we are a Canadian company and our programs are only available to Canadian citizens. I’m assuming you’re not a Canadian citizen?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, are you Canadian?”

Customer: “I have my green card.”

Me: “No, sir, I’m talking about Canadian citizenship, not your green card.”

Customer: “I don’t understand what you’re telling me. What do you mean?”

Me: “Our programs are only available to Canadians, so you must be Canadian to apply.”

Customer: “What is this?”

Me: “What is what?”

Customer: “This Canadian thing. I don’t understand what you’re telling me. I have a green card!”

Me: “Canadian…as in, Canada the country.”

Customer: “What is this! I’ve never heard of that!”

Me: “I don’t even know what to tell you.”

Customer: “So, can I apply now or what?”

1 Thumbs
5,288
VOTES

You Can Lead A Horse To Water, Part 4

| | Right | September 11, 2009

Customer: “What’s on your BBQ chicken pizza?”

Me: “BBQ sauce, cheese and chicken.”

Customer: “So there’s BBQ sauce, right?”

Me: “Yup…”

Customer: “…chicken?”

Me: “Uh huh…”

Customer: “…and it’s on a pizza, right? With cheese?”

Me: “Yes, it has all of those toppings.”

Customer: “So what makes it a BBQ chicken pizza?”

Me: “The BBQ sauce, the chicken, and the fact that it’s on a pizza.”

Customer: “Oh, I see. Well that just doesn’t sound like it’s possible. I’ll take a large cheese instead!”

 

1 Thumbs
2,021
VOTES

Harry & Ginny: The Golden Years

| | Right | September 10, 2009

(A man walks up to my register with his wife, they have a few items, one of which is a broom.)

Me: “How are you guys today?”

Husband: “Oh, we’re good.”

(The husband takes the broom and places it on counter, then stares at his wife).

Wife: “What?”

Husband: “Are you sure you’re going to fit on this?”

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

1 Thumbs
4,069
VOTES

This Vacation Is All Downhill From Here

| | Right | September 10, 2009

(Note: this is in summer when the customer comes in.)

Customer: “I would like to buy three ski passes for today.”

Me: “Miss, it’s 90 out and the snow melted months ago.”

Customer: “But I thought you guys made it?”

1 Thumbs
2,155
VOTES

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Pregnant Woman Scorned

, , | Right | September 10, 2009

(A man comes to my register with a mint chocolate candy bar.)

Me: “Anything else?”

Customer: “Can you break a $100 bill?”

Me: “Actually, I can’t. We just opened and I haven’t gone to the bank today.”

Customer: “Oh, no! Do you know anywhere I can get change? I need this candy right away!”

(At this point I notice his panicked look. Coupled with the fact that he’s buying the most unappetizing candy in the store, I jump to a conclusion.)

Me: “Sir, these aren’t for you, are they?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did your pregnant wife send you out at eight in the morning to buy this candy?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “For the love of God, man! Get these home to her before you’re in even more trouble! You can come back and pay me later!”

(The customer bolted out the door. He later came back, visibly calmer, and paid.)

1 Thumbs
16,561
VOTES
Page 4,079/4,539First...4,0774,0784,0794,0804,081...Last