We Want Your Braaaiiins

| | Right | September 16, 2009

(A subject is speaking with me about a sleep-study we were doing.)

Subject: “So I’ll just have to go to sleep for the study, right?”

Me:: “That’s correct. We’re just using those scanning machines to test brain function during REM sleep.”

Subject: *suddenly fearful* “You expect me to sleep with those machines cutting into my brain?!”

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Name Brain Drain

| | Right | September 15, 2009

(A customer reads my name tag.)

Customer: “That’s a strange name isn’t it?”

Me: “Heh.”

Customer: “How do you pronounce that? Tain-ee…Trenay? Seriously, what is that? Welsh? Irish?”

Me: “Uhm…”

Customer: “It sounds really exotic, really foreign.”

Me: “No no, I am a Trainee. Trainee isn’t my name.”

Customer: “Ohh, right. Well, thanks for the help, Train-ee!”

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It’s Not Like They’re Permanent Or Anything

| | Right | September 15, 2009

(A walk in customer goes to sit in the tattoo chair, which is unusual before a consultation.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “Oh, a little nervous. This is my first tattoo.”

Me: “There’s nothing to be afraid of. The process is generally more annoying than painful. What sort of design are we doing for you?”

Customer: “Oh, I have to pick one?!”

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Maybe He’s Italian?

| | Right | September 15, 2009

Customer: “I’ll take a small cappuccino.”

Me: “Sure. Anything else today?”

Customer: “Just a small cappuccino.”

Me: “Okay, I got that. May I have your name please?”

Customer: “Small cappuccino.”

Me: “No, sir, I need your name for the order so we can call it out when your order’s ready.”

Customer: *tries to save face* “Err…Small Cappuccino. My name is Small Cappuccino!”

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It’s About The Destination, Not The Journey

| | Right | September 15, 2009

Customer: “Yeah, I went to order your cream online and there’s a problem. It asked for my name and address. I want to order anonymously.”

Me: “Well, we would have to have your name and address to able to ship you anything.”

Customer: “Why?

Me: “We need to know where to ship it to.”

Customer: “Really?!”

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